Husband had positive bowel screening test, and I'm losing it.

[fishman65]

Blue, I don't think I can give any better advice than those wonderful people above have already given. But please know I am thinking of you

[Pamplemousse]

Hi BI, just read your news about your husband.

I can see what you're doing because I'm guilty of it myself - catastrophising. Covered that in a therapy session last week and how we assume the very worst to protect ourselves.

Chances are it may not even be what you fear; Pulisa's pointed out just how sensitive the FIT test is.

Now, from a practical point of view, I will tell you this. A few years ago my best friend was diagnosed with Stage IV bowel cancer. It had got into his bladder and he had lesions on his liver. Doesn't sound very good, does it? Anyway... with treatment - and I swear, his positive outlook - he's been completely free of it for three years now. It's not the death sentence people think it is any more.

Get the colonoscopy booked and then put all the bad thoughts aside, in a little diary if need be; something I do these days (and it helps). Easier said than done, I know.

[MrLurcher]

Hi BI, really sorry to hear about your husbands' scary FIT result, and how it's affecting you.

Like you, I'd be catastrophising and scaring myself mad right now, so I won't tell you to stop being 'silly' etc.

I remember reading something during my bowel googling that only 3-5% or something of people who have positive FIT results end up having something bad, so the chances are still very small.

You've been very good to me on here, so if you need to chat or vent just send me a message.

How is your husband coping/doing after the result?

[BlueIris]

He's nervous but okay; he knows I'm doing my best, which I appreciate. I did at least get some sleep, but I've been flashing hot and cold whenever I've been awake.

I cannot thank everyone on here enough, you've been my sanity valve and stopped me losing it totally and your compassion is so appreciated.

Really want to try and get in touch with the GP today, but these days getting an appointment is just another source of stress.

[Catkins]

I really feel for you BI. As others say, you've had a shock and having a normal reaction to it. Keep doing all the things you normally do that help you cope, reach out whenever you need to. You are a wonderful, kind, honest person and you have helped me loads in the past, so shout up if there's anything I can do.

[BlueIris]

Thanks, Catkins. I'm trying to focus on myself and wrangling my own anxiety at the moment. Haven't vomited or cried yet, but I've certainly come close.

Need to keep reminding myself it's okay not to be okay.

[Catkins]

It definitely is, nobody is superhuman. It's worse to pretend you're OK when you're not, it just eats away at you (that's how it usually goes with me). Acknowledging how you feel isn't a weakness, we're all human. Also a good cry often helps me, releases a lot of stuff I guess.

[BlueIris]

Sorry for being a pain. The suicidal thoughts are coming at me, and hard; it's worse because I feel as though I'm letting him down.

[pulisa]

All you know for sure is that he's been advised to have a colonoscopy. Fact. Would he want you to be having suicidal thoughts when you don't know anything else yet? You're not letting him down but you are allowing yourself to catastrophise and you would advise anyone else on here not to do that when the only sinister diagnosis he has is a product of your own anxiety.

[BlueIris]

Totally right, Pulisa. Will do my due diligence and keep reading this thread when I need to at work today.