Bulbar ALS?

[Mocadona]

I really think this has run it's course. I asked a number of weeks ago why you were on an anxiety forum, as in what do you expect to get out of this? We are not doctors, and even at that people have told you that you definitely don't have ALS going on what you have described. People have been incredibly helpful and offered tons of advice all of which was ignored. I too used to visit the ALS site for the exact same reason as you, you are not unique in any of what you are describing, it is 100% classic HA. I realised it wasn't helping though, and never would, and so I quit doing it. Until you are willing to take some steps to help your anxiety I really don't see what anyone here can offer you. You need to see a professional.

[pulisa]

It doesn't have to be a carousel of fear but you're right, I don't know you or know what drives you. I'm not sure what being kind would mean to you in terms of trying to help you though? People have tried to help you but it's obviously not good enough.

[pulisa]

This is kind of a disingenuous question. You know what I am doing. I am trying to find the one thing that will convince me I don't have it. It's how HA works. If it is HA. And around we go in the endless circle of what if? It's not a lifestyle choice to be like this. It's an anxiety disorder. Maybe. Unless I am right this time. And on it goes. It's a carousel of fear.

As for Lolalee just randomly popping on here to be rude, how is this helpful? Do you think I don't know it's shite? I'd much rather be mindlessly watching Christmas movies (no, I wouldn't) and playing with kittens, but that's not how my brain is working right now. A bit of compassion never hurts, or else say nothing. Don't tell me it's "tough love" or some shit. You don't know me. You don't get to gamble with people's states of mind and what could potentially push someone over the edge at this time of year. Be kind

And actually..you have no idea what I have to deal with every day either.

[WorryRaptor]

I think people have tried to extend kindness, but as another user said, nobody here is a medical expert, so there is only so far any of us can go.

If we try to offer reassurance, or reason, you have an answer as to why it's wrong. This is a pretty common reaction with anxiety based disorders, because like you say, you need that specific answer that will let you accept that your worst fear isn't coming true. But no answer here will ever be good enough, because your brain won't be able to accept it. The fear outweighs the more common reasons for your perceived symptoms. Anxiety causes that pull and push effect to perpetuate a constant state of unrest, yet drives you to seek relief at the same time. The result is pages of helpful advice that will never convince you, and people feeling like their help wasn't taken on board or appreciated.

Needing that one answer isn't the solution to this problem. But you seem fully aware of that. You recognise exactly what the issue is, saying that's how HA works.

People here want to see you taking action on addressing the real problem. I can't speak for everyone, but I'd be willing to guess most of us don't want to see you suffering needlessly with this fear, and constantly spinning in circles in this thread. You don't need to be caught on " a carousel of fear". You can raise your hand for the ride operator and say you'd like to get off, and go see a therapist who can actually talk through this with you in a safe way.

[BlueIris]

Olivia, kindness is all very well but it's a two way street. Nobody can see inside anybody else's head, so all any of us can do is what we believe to be the right thing.

With respect, sometimes a metaphorical kick up the rear can be a kindness if it rouses someone from a spiral. Pulisa's removed my head from my backside a few times lately; sometimes it's stung but it's always given me something to think about.

What you might want to think about is what you're gaining by not trying to help yourself.

[Fishmanpa]

I'm looking for something that would convince me I don't have it

As I said... Other than reality?

FMP

[Lolalee1]

This is kind of a disingenuous question. You know what I am doing. I am trying to find the one thing that will convince me I don't have it. It's how HA works. If it is HA. And around we go in the endless circle of what if? It's not a lifestyle choice to be like this. It's an anxiety disorder. Maybe. Unless I am right this time. And on it goes. It's a carousel of fear.

As for Lolalee just randomly popping on here to be rude, how is this helpful? Do you think I don't know it's shite? I'd much rather be mindlessly watching Christmas movies (no, I wouldn't) and playing with kittens, but that's not how my brain is working right now. A bit of compassion never hurts, or else say nothing. Don't tell me it's "tough love" or some shit. You don't know me. You don't get to gamble with people's states of mind and what could potentially push someone over the edge at this time of year. Be kind

I have read pages of your fears with good people trying their best to help you. I am not rude just say it as it is,if that upsets you,not my problem.As I say, NO one here can reassure you and is a Doc.I have been over the edge but I crawled my way back up.

[olivia0703]

I have read pages of your fears with good people trying their best to help you. I am not rude just say it as it is,if that upsets you,not my problem.As I say, NO one here can reassure you and is a Doc.I have been over the edge but I crawled my way back up.

Then you know the mental struggle when you are in it, how you can't believe it's "just your HA". That's not how this works. I want so much for it to be HA, but I feel like that's wishful thinking

[Fishmanpa]

I'm looking for something that would convince me I don't have it

As I said... Other than reality? Here's the deal Olivia. You don't have ALS I know you're reading on the ALS site but I really hope you don't post there and disrespect and bother the people who are actually dealing with this disease. You're on an anxiety website posting about a perceived fear. That alone is enough to discount it. The next step is to seek professional help with the illness you actually do have.

FMP

[BlueIris]

See a doctor, get a professional to tell you why you don't have ALS and then work on healing your HA.

You do have a horrible disease, it's just not the one you believe you have.