Dread every day

[u0000998]

Just the thought of getting through the day having to put up with the way I am feeling fills me with dread/terror? Wondering if anyone else has ever felt or feels this way?

Joanne

Feel very alone with this. I have been told I have mental health hypochondria?????? No one seems to have this either. I am really struggling guys.

[purplehaze]

Hey Jo

I remember the days where I could not leave the house or talk to anyone face to face or even on the phone. Panic attacks depression anxiety palpatations agoraphobia. Life was just a living hell and each morning I woke praying that it would be gone because I could not cope with these feelings another day.
It was hard enough trying to explain it to my family or doctor because I had no Idea what was happening to me.

Is this going to be how I am going to feel for the rest of my life?

Now that was back in 1993 and eventually I got better through the help of a CPN and going along to support groups. I firmly believe the key to overcoming our metal health issues is to become involved in support groups along with the support of our doctor. This may mean medication in the short to long term and also changing the medication we are on to find the right one, because there is not one medication that suits everyone.

Through the support I became so much better but have had a relaspe over the past 18 months but I have found on this site great support through talking to others and reading the material on the site. I am also getting support via my doctor and other mental health teams.

Joanne you are not alone in this but I am sure you feel that way a lot of the time.

look at what support there is out there for you.
Speak to your doctor about medication
There will be support groups in your area or close to you
Read the material on this site and print it off

I really feel for you and I encourage you to keep posting on here and let us know how you are doing, because we are all in this together.

Take care

[u0000998]

Thanks Kev for your reply. It made me cry as I can tell that you do know hoe it feels.

I am constanlt worries over how I feel emotionally. I have anxiety and depression and life for the past 4 weeks has been a living hell. I can't convince myself that it will go - just feel that I am going to feel like this forever. That makes me feel horrible.

I had 2 friends who committed suicide, used to be afraid of going mad or having manic depression but the suicide thing is my current worry - if I feel like this then it will be me. I am sorry for being so depressing - just feel so afraid.

I am on citalopram 20mg and trazadone to help me sleep on a nite as I was pacing the floors and very agitated. Don't thinl the citalopram is working at all. Could just cry.

[Greeneyed]

Please go back to your doctor and explain how your are feeling, if they will not help you further ask to be referred to another doctor.

[Jaco45er]

I felt the same way a few years back. Everyday, I would wake, then it would start, like the shock of yesterday's feelings would hit me, and I would feel terrible again.

Only the evening brought any relief from it.

The suicide thing made me panic worse, (I have mentioned this in a previous post) I would think that, that would be the inevitable result.

I tell you, I do feel for you, you sound exactly in the place I was a few years back.

Now, some light. I too thought my life was over, a life of misery, never going to enjoy another day forever, that I would either finally breakdown and be incapable of anything, or even worse, attempt you know what.

Those days are only a memory now. Reading about your poor situation gives me a glimse of what it was like, but I am here to tell you that with the right help, you will be replying to a thread like I am, having past this most terrible of stages and know that the worse is behind you.

Green is right, go back to the doc. There is a remedy for everyone, whether it be meds, therapy, bungee jumping, there is an answer, you just need to percevier and try all you can.

I overcame my worst feelings (eventually) with Claire Weekes books and exercise.

I hope it lifts soon

TC

Jaco

[purplehaze]

Jo

You are in a hurting place at the moment but I also sense there is a real courage about you. I thank God each time someone posts on here when they are feeling depressed because it allows them to share how they feel and it takes courage to post. Please dont sit with all of these feelings but make n appointment to see your doctor...If you find it hard to explain it ...try writing it down before you see your doctor...
Remember if the medication you are on just now is not working there is so many other medications that will benefit you. Dont forget the chat room is full of people at night and you can come on line and talk to others...There is also the help room next to it and someone will come in there and support you.
Jo If you need to post 100 times today then do, keep sharing how you feel.

Trust me on this you are not going mad.It may feel like it but your not and you will come through this.

Again make that appointment for the doctors.

hugs

kev

[mlondon]

Hi Jo

I know what you are going through and it is horrible. One of the scariest things in the world i think because for me it made me scared of myself.

In June of this year I suddenly developed an anxiety disorder so crippling i couldn't leave the house. I am only 25. For a time it got so bad that i moved back in with my mum and had to give up my job. Every morning i would wake up and think to myself 'today i am going to dye' or 'my life is going to crumble so much that i will want to end it'. I like you woke up hoping i wouldn't feel dread but it was always there, because i expected it and so thought about it. I had already been to my doctor who put me on anti depressants but they seemed to be making things worse (i carried on taking them and slowly began to feel better but only after a few months). I am very lucky as I had a relative who had been through a similar experience and as a result was very supportive. My doctor referred me for counselling once a month which meant waiting for 6 weeks before my first appointment. This made no difference to me.

Things began to turn around for me when i went to CBT therapy. There is a huge waiting list on the NHS which meant i needed to pay for it privately. At first i had some problems finding a therapist, one person told me he was a CBT therapist but after attending a few sessions I could see he clearly wasn't. The therapist I have now was recommended to me through Mind. He is amazing. I strongly recommend it.

5 months on I have a new job which i enjoy and live back with my partner, whats more i can meet friends for dinner and have an almost normal social life again (I still only drink a little as it makes the anxiety worse). Believe me there are times everyday where i still feel anxious but the difference is it is not all day everyday now and I can achieve a lot more. I have come a long way but i still have a way to go.

I urge you seek help even if it means going beyond speaking to your doctor and finding help yourself like i did. The dread will get less and less and you will in time begin to enjoy life or at least aparts of it again. You are not alone, many people have had a similar experience and got through it and I am confident with the right help you will to.

[mlondon]

I forgot to say I currently taking 20ml citalopram, it took 6 weeks before i began to feel any effects. It will get better.

This is going to sound really silly but my therapist told me this the other day and it help.

Imagine for one minute the image of a camel. Picture its colouring, the shape of its face, its feet, its humps, where it is standing, its smell and the noises it makes. Then once you have done that. Try and think about something else.
It is likely all you will be able to think about is the Camel. It really is worth trying it to prove it to yourself. Now imagine that your intrusive thoughts which cause you to worry such as 'i am afraid I am going to kill myself' like the Camel. You can't stop thinking about it and trying not to think about it makes you think about it more. But it really is just worry it doesn't mean it is going to happen.

I hope this makes sense.