Starting again, early days do suck

[EdnaLegume]

I’m now 16 days, 4 days now on 20mg. Morning anxiety is yuck but tolerable and a bit of evening anxiety that is not a big deal at all. Able to fall asleep relatively easily and while I do wake once or twice I’m able to go back to sleep. Still quite tired during the day and have little motivation to do anything. Yesterday we had a rather busy day and I did quite well. I’m also fighting a case of low iron so I’m sure that’s not helping the tiredness and lack of motivation. Hopefully as the side effects continue to subside and my iron levels improve I’ll come around.

[EdnaLegume]

So 21 days total, 9 days on 20mg. Mornings are still a bit jittery but my day is fine. I went out to the grocery store yesterday near my “late afternoon anxiety hour” and I’d had some mild anxiety but I didn’t let it bother me. Surprisingly I didn’t really have any evening anxiety to speak of. Today I ventured farther out for 3 hours running from store to store and while I did have some stomach knots I was otherwise fine. Tired and definitely ready to go home after the errands were finished.

right now my biggest issue is there is so much tension in my neck and back. I spent two days sitting awkwardly for several hours. That seemed to set things off. And the past 2 days now my back has that achy, tired discomfort. I also moved furniture yesterday further aggravating the situation. Obviously that sets my health anxiety into overdrive. I think because I’m experiencing different start up side effects this go round, my brain automatically assumes the worst even though I know it’s completely normal having different and/or possibly worse symptoms.

On the bright side, it’s now 7:30pm and no signs of my evening anxiety, which would be cranking away by now. I have noticed that’s been improving and this is 2 days in a row now of evening peace. Progress!

I am still managing between 5 and 6 hours of sleep before I’m waking up. Actually it’s body aches that seem to be waking me up. I’m starting to think I need a soft mattress topper perhaps. I still wake up with anxiety but I have to say it too seems to be improving.

still lots of unhelpful mind chatter that really annoys me. I’m constantly having to reassure myself that all of this is normal and in time will improve and I will feel great again! When I really think about it, I’m WAY better than I was 3 and 4 weeks ago, before and after starting cit. sometimes it’s just hard to see past the current nonsense.

[EdnaLegume]

I can see by the extended gaps in posting that I’m clearly improving. I’m not spending many anxious hours scouring this site for comfort. I’m simply living life now.

I am on day 30 total, day 18 of 20mg. Minor morning anxiety and really not much evening anxiety to speak of. Still waking up between 3 and 4am and it’s a toss up if I can get back to sleep. If it’s closer to 4am, I’m much less likely to get back to sleep. I just try to counter that by getting to bed earlier and napping during the day if I have to.

My muscle tension is improving and really now just in my neck and shoulders as opposed to my entire back. And it really is much better. Made it through the start of my monthly with only a little blip. The past couple of days my health anxiety mind chatter has been greatly improved. Thankfully. That’s almost as bad as the physical symptoms. I still have a bit of anxiety when I go out, and I think I’m finding the level of anxiety is dependent upon how tired I am. I know all of this is still early days and will continue to settle down.

Saw my primary last week and she’s fine with the way I’ve gone back on meds and my plan to very slowly get up to my previous 30mg dose.

im very grateful for this website. I’ve gotten so much comfort here getting through this, both this time and back in 2013 when I first started cit.

[panic_down_under]

I can see by the extended gaps in posting that I’m clearly improving. I’m not spending many anxious hours scouring this site for comfort. I’m simply living life now.

Which is just how it should be.

Hope you have a very merry Christmas and a great 2023!

[EdnaLegume]

Thank you! Merry Christmas to you as well. Hope your 2023 is wonderful!

[EdnaLegume]

Been over a year since my last post. All is well. Thankfully my previous starts and stops have not appeared to have caused any issue with the efficacy of the meds. Back to “myself”. Even though my range of emotions is limited on these meds, I have to say it’s preferred over the anxiety. I’m happy, I can laugh, I can appreciate simple things. I’ll take it.

[panic_down_under]

Even though my range of emotions is limited on these meds, I have to say it’s preferred over the anxiety.

If the emotion blunting becomes a problem you could try switching to escitalopram (Lexapro). Citalopram and escitalopram share the same active chemical, the 'S' isomer of citalopram, aka escitalopram. Citalopram also contains the 'R' mirror image isomer which is a poorer fit biologically and so is mostly inactive. Lexapro (escitalopram) is more refined and only contains the 'S' isomer. This can cause subtle differences in the side-effects each med produces.

There are no guarantees the switch will make a difference, but there is a chance it will. You can change back if it doesn't.

[EdnaLegume]

thank you for that! I will definitely keep that in mind. as of now I feel "normal" if you will. While I definitely notice the blunted emotions, I don't find it to be an issue.