Bowel Cancer Fear

[dancingfrog]

Hi everyone, I haven’t been on the forum for a long long time but feel like a really need some help.

During the Christmas period, I had a short bout of loose stools with increased frequency. It was likely caused by overeating and drinking and went away after I took some Imodium. However, during this time and up to now I have become obsessed with bowel cancer to the point where I am physically checking every stool. I do have some mucus on my stool which is usually the same colour as the stool, this at present is what is making me worry the most. I keep thinking that I see blood when I check although what I’m actually seeing I do not know. I have not had a change in frequency but can be constipated (I’m definitely not drinking enough). I haven’t lost weight although I’m checking my weight every day. I’m also spending any available time where I’m physically not doing something on Dr Google. I look up symptoms, stories about bowel cancer at my age (31), hereditary links, prognosis, the list goes on! I have shared my feelings with my husband and mum who feel like this is another crazy spell of heightened anxiety. This episode has also been fuelled by my grandfather dying of stomach related cancer (in his late eighties) and my father having what I believe to some form of benign growth somewhere in that region in his mid fifties. This coupled with my symptoms makes me feel that I must have bowel cancer and it’s super aggressive and untreatable. I’m calling the doctor tomorrow as it’s something that I need to address but I’m terrified of having any tests as I’m certain they’ll tell me I’ve got what I think I have. I’m well aware that I have severe health anxiety and have a scheduled appt with a therapist next week to begin some form of treatment for that.

What I’m hoping from this post is just a little reassurance from others and to help me get what I’m feeling off my chest in some ways as it’s completely eating me up inside!

[dancingfrog]

Hi everyone, still needing some support and guidance from you guys. I’ve been to the GP and expressed my concerns, he point blank stated that I did not have bowel cancer without even doing any tests( even though I requested them). He said that any tests will just prolong this anxiety as I have non of the key symptoms (even though I think I do).

To top it all off, the day that I had my doctors appt I actually did find a speck of fresh blood on the stool. Again he was not concerned but put it down to straining and rather embarrassingly checking around that area with my finger and causing a scratch or damaging a pile. He also checked my abdomen and said all good. So from that appt he has started me on sertraline which I took yesterday. Felt like crap all day with diarrhoea and headache. The doctor did warn me that I will experience side effects and to not go down the bowel cancer route as they will be from the medication.

However this evening the bowel cancer fear won’t shift again. I’ve had a flatter stool this evening again a symptom of bowel cancer. I’ve also got an ulcer in my mouth, a sign of anaemia and again a sign of bowel cancer. No matter where I turn I come back to the bowel cancer conclusion. I can’t seem to escape this fear at all. Please is there anyone out there that can offer me some reassurance.

[Fishmanpa]

All the reassurance you need just came from a medical professional. That and the fact your dragon is reassurance seeking on an anxiety forum affirms that.

FMP

[dancingfrog]

Fishmanpa, thank you for reply. I feel I have no where to turn to at the moment. I understand what you’re saying but now I’m feeling what if he didn’t listen to all my concerns. I didn’t mention the night sweats, what if they’re significant? I am also obsessively now checking lymph nodes in my groin. Some feel really big and dodgy, plus I’ve got some bruises on my legs. What if it’s cancer that has spread?? All this is going through my mind constantly. I’m not even functioning day to day now. Am I just going to constantly find something and link it back to this fear?

[Fishmanpa]

Am I just going to constantly find something and link it back to this fear?

That pattern is documented all over the forum. Unless you proactively do the work, the dragon will will continue to breath fire down your neck. You started meds, give them some time to kick in and seek professional help and you can break the pattern.

FMP

[dancingfrog]

I am trying to do the work. I’ve started the meds which I’m having side effects from but will persist. In my mind until I can prove or disprove what I’m feeling is cancer then I can’t control my thoughts. I am trying really hard. Any other tips of what to do practically to stop the checking and to take my mind away from this.

Also thank you so much for replying to this thread. You have no idea how just the shortest of replies has helped me.

[Jonathanbrsc]

I am trying to do the work. I’ve started the meds which I’m having side effects from but will persist. In my mind until I can prove or disprove what I’m feeling is cancer then I can’t control my thoughts. I am trying really hard. Any other tips of what to do practically to stop the checking and to take my mind away from this.

Also thank you so much for replying to this thread. You have no idea how just the shortest of replies has helped me.

Hi mate,

I've had ultrasound, CT Scan with contrast and physical exams, all of my abdomen and upper belly.

Nothing found. I also had blood tests that look for certain chemicals with bowel cancers, nothing found. I've done FIT tests (Fecal immunochemical Test) and nothing found.

If the docs are not concerned, please try to believe them. I have pain in the bowel but it's IBS. But I did start off like you and convinced myself I was bowel cancer. Try to say it's not, instead of it is. Keep being positive and say it's not those things.

I know it's hard, I have health anxiety and I know how difficult these thoughts are.