Severe health anxiety - desperate for help or friends

[BlueIris]

How are you feeling today?

[Krpuk]

Hi blueiris, Im cautiously feeling a little better. I feel like the side effects from the meds are slowly subsiding. Starting to get something like my normal appetite back which helps.

I managed two full days out over the weekend which every morning I wanted to cancel but found once I was out I had a great day. It's just so difficult breaking the worry barrier and actually getting out the house.

I know I'm still miles away from where I can be, but there's only one way to improve and it's small steps. I've had urges to Google the last few days but managed to stay away. I find the mornings seem to be the worst from waking for a few hours in but trying to get motivated work wise.

CBT tomorrow so I'm looking forward to that.

[BlueIris]

Sounds as though you're exactly where you need to be, which is brilliant.

[Mocadona]

Best of luck with the CBT, hopefully it helps you. It is funny to read a lot of these posts - I think back to the first post I made here some months ago and the similarities to what a lot of others say are amazing. I had a couple of good nights sleep for the first time in a long time and it really helped. Tiredness is definitely a trigger for me but with 2 young ones it's hard to keep on top of it. Similar to you I'm often anxious leading up to an event but once I go I have a great time, you just need time to rewire your brain and get back to looking forward to things again.

Not googling is a huge achievement so you should be very happy about that. It shows you're determined to get it right this time so keep it up!

[Krpuk]

I'm really really determined, also trying to implement people's suggestions when I have a setback.

Actually had one today (setback) and wrote down logical cause and effect, then kept going back to reread my own statement each time I started panicking.

I won't say it stopped me worrying but it certainly limited how bad I felt. I know it's a long road ahead and I will have further blips and HA meltdowns but I'm really encouraged by others successes and I honestly believe we can all beat this with support and determination.

I like you have a couple of young ones and I need to do it for them as much as for me

[Topsy83]

So much useful stuff on this thread - realising that my odd reactions to things are pretty normal for people with HA. Doesn't make them good of course but stops me beating myself up so much. I am sure that I go through phases of vulnerability to anxiety - not sure what exactly sets it off, but I have been there recently. So everything that happens seems like 'another thing' to get anxious about. Hoping to break the cycle with a two week holiday from Monday although at the moment getting ready for it is 'another thing'. Also my hairdresser says I have Alopecia and that it's probably caused by my anxiety (thanks!!), although she was actually nice about it as she gets anxiety too. So started to worry about that then remembered a friend who had Alopecia (and much worse than mine) who used to say "I have an income and a pulse, and those are the main things". Something for me to hang on to! I, too, have both!
Anyone know about links between vitamin deficiencies and anxiety? I am still on gastritis meds and I know that they can affect vitamin absorption. It might help explain the anxiety flare up (and possibly the alopecia too). Think I'll take a good multivitamin for a while, it can't do much harm and could help.
Krpuk, how are you getting one? You've probably only had one bout of CBT so far, but does it give you some hope? Are the side-effect of the meds continuing to abate?

[Krpuk]

Hi Topsy83,

I hope you have a fantastic 2 weeks holiday!!

Yes I've had one CBT session so far, seemed good but really we just covered fact finding about me so plenty of work going forward I think. The meds side effects have settled off now which is a massive relief. Starting to get my appetite back which can only help.

Everything is connected, start off with a massive HA spiral, that makes you feel physically and mentally terrible. Then you lose your appetite, you then feel weaker and have a lack of natural vitamins etc.

So really your body is in shutdown mode then. With the meds that affected my appetite even more so now it's coming back I'm hopeful again.

I honestly think if we can get our bodies fuelled up properly by just eating normally again, that gives us energy to get out the house and back to our normal routines, which then in turn brings our mental state back to something we can cope with so we are able to focus on recovery. (All my opinion BTW &#128514

The small moments I have now where I feel normal for an hour or forget my worries, gives me the goal to aim for. It doesn't last long but it happens so I know that there is a way back.

One question I've got is do people think if we try too hard to recover, ie read books listen to podcasts etc in all spare moments, is that detrimental in anyway because we are putting our minds back on to the "topic" again to much?

[smogie]

Hi literally could’ve written your post I’m seeing the gp this morning and very likely she is going to request more tests which is the right thing to do but I cannot bear the thought of waiting for these tests and the subsequent results i know I will be in this spiral until I get the right outcome which as I’m getting older might not happen I don’t know how people carry on living like this it’s relentless will there ever come s time where you think ah sod it what will be will be for me I don’t think so I hope you find peace

[Krpuk]

Hi smogie, it's crazy how we are all so similar in our traits yet we likely will never meet one another. I suppose it gives me reassurance that I'm not the only one!
I dream of being able to go down the route of just thinking.. Oh well, let's just live life and crack on, if something happens I'll deal with it.
I'm actively jealous of normal people going about there business as i just cannot do that at present.
I think the most frustrating thing for me is that my Brain likes to distort logic and fact. I'll often try my best to confirm that I should not be worrying but the what ifs just come back relentlessly. Really annoying.

Gps and tests bring out the same problems for me, always reading into things and I end up scrutinising them even though I know 99% they just follow a process.

[smogie]

Me too I feel so jealous of other people just getting on with their lives in a normal way I don’t want to navigate the globe just live a life that doesn’t involve this constant spiral of worry and anxiety and without the constant overthinking that leaves me exhausted it’s like fighting a fire eating dragon every single day! I know that sounds really dramatic but that’s how it feels