Exclusion & Social Media Anxiety at Work

[Sid476]

Thanks peg54321 I shall try this 'no reaction', but not sure how to do it? is there a way to just stop caring and think differently technique?

I think my 'pulling back' has been noticed in the past, and its not jealousy, but i felt a lot better being able to choose when to engage or disengage from the futile and soul-crushing mentality.

its the constant Facebook, Instagram updates and pictures trying to show everyone that 'i bet you wished you worked here as its the best job in the world', and all the lemming followers, try to get their photos with them and feeling jealous of the fun their having at work, feeding their self importance and narcissim!

[peg54321]

Hi Sid,
I think everyone is different in what works for them. For me, I have found the simplest way is to tell myself i'm simply refusing to let it bother me any more. "I'm not letting this bother me any more" I say to myself so I can hear it. See if that shifts you on the inside. Yes, i'm sure your pulling back does get noticed. Its strange. They want you there, but on their terms - not your terms.. and their terms aren't healthy for you. the cheerleading on insta and facebook is nauseating... I hope you can withdraw and find others who you can relate to. I know a few people who understand these nauseating dynamics. I think in the long run, getting out of these sickening social dynamics is a huge achievement.

[Sid476]

Thank you peg54321, this is a brilliant way of looking at the situation.

I'm hoping my pulling back does get noticed, that I don't want to be part of this worshipping and chearleading.

You are absolutely right that they desire your presence, but only on their terms, not yours, which perfectly encapsulates the situation.

Consequently, I have unfollowed most of them on Instagram and other social media platforms. However, the challenging aspect lies in finding alternative employment. If I were to secure another job, I would completely detach myself from these individuals. Unfortunately, they currently serve as my source of income, so I occasionally have to check if my work is being recognized or worthwhile sending projects that day (from a professional standpoint). As they are excessively celebrating nonsense, and in those cases, it is worthwhile to wait until tomorrow.

[peg54321]

I'm glad to be helpful. The malignant hive mentality has been in many work places that I have unfortunately found myself in too... so use this as an opportunity to try and untangle yourself psychologically while you are still there as it is likely to come up again in future work places.

Getting off social media is a great idea. It takes a few attempts to detach from a dynamic but well worth it. I think its a type of immaturity in these types of group dynamics that are really worth untagging from.

It's not something you will miss once you get out of the psychological trap for good. Leaving your current work place physically may not necessarily the answer as you may find yourself in a similiar situation as this type of issue is in alot of work places. The answer in my mind is untangling from the toxic group and affirming your individuality.

[Lencoboy]

I work as a self-employed individual for a certain Media Company, (so its quite a 'cool' job I guess) and I've noticed some passive-aggressive and narcissistic behavior within the team. It's been quite challenging to ignore their actions and not feel left out, so I'm seeking guidance on how to deal with this situation.


One of the main issues I've encountered is the 'cliquish' nature of this workplace.

They work in posh offices, and others work self-employed from home. So obviously everything in the 'office' is 'amazing'!

It feels like they have formed a tight-knit gang, and if you're not "of the moment," you're left out.

For instance, I was invited to participate in a course where I performed well and felt like part of the team. However, when the next course came along, which was even more suited to my skills, I was excluded.

What made matters worse was that they showcased their participation all over social media, making it impossible for me and others to miss. I understand that not being selected shouldn't be a problem, but it's disheartening to see it emphasized so prominently.


As a laid-back individual, it's challenging for me not to feel left out, especially in this age of social media where they call all the shots. It seems like they have the power to decide whether you're "in" or "out," and unfortunately, they have treated many others who have worked with them similarly.

Maybe its me that just feels like this, and no one cares (even them) whatever they are doing and promoting, but it does feel like a dig, as I've worked for them so long, and now being excluded.
I am looking at other options now, and happy to pull away.

Additionally, there is a prevalent issue of big egos in this place, where mistakes are rarely acknowledged and ownership is often avoided—a classic display of narcissistic behavior.


I would greatly appreciate any advice or strategies you could share on how to overcome these feelings of exclusion. How can I maintain a positive mindset and not let their actions affect me personally? How can I navigate the social dynamics while remaining focused on my work and personal growth?

Do others suffer with this in this day and age, as everyone tries to make out on Social Media that there lives are perfect, but almost always are not and its a lie!

Thanks for any help

Although this sort of phenomena may often seem much worse these days than ever before (probably most likely due to greater awareness of such issues and affected individuals being more willing to speak out against them), I think it's probably always been a thing in workplaces to a certain extent, though the advent of social media has undoubtebly added to it all over the past 15+ years or so.

Many people, especially over more recent years have admitted to experiencing toxicity, bullying and general cliquey-ness in many workplaces (including instances of sexual harassment), especially back in the 60s, 70s and 80s, but often just shrugged it off and brushed it under the carpet as they often felt that they wouldn't be believed by the powers that be, and of course, for fear of getting the sack, plus not forgetting the fear of being perceived as 'weak'.

The fact that such things still appear to be going on in certain workplaces with bosses/management often turning a blind eye in these more enlightened times really does beggar belief, though I would hope that workplace sexual harassment in particular is much less commonplace nowadays than in previous eras, especially following a lot of the Operation Yewtree and likewise stuff over the past decade or so.

[Sid476]

Agree @Lencoboy, and I don't think any sexual harrassment is going on here? but I find it frustrating to consistently submit work and handle administrative tasks behind the scenes, only to face difficulties in receiving timely payment, it getting delayed, or even getting a response.
It seems that the focus is always on creating a fun and enjoyable public image online via Social Media, while crucial matters like receiving payment are ignored or delayed.

Meanwhile, workers are busy showcasing their skills and (non)-achievements, giving the impression that everything is going smoothly.


However, when you rightfully question decisions or express a desire to be paid for your work, you're labeled as an outsider and accused of complaining excessively.
Meanwhile, those who prioritize pleasing their followers continue to waste time and neglect their responsibilities.