As the title says, I feel like I’m completely done and can’t take another thing. I’ve been so stressed lately and now my health anxiety is kicking in.
My mum had a fall 6 weeks ago and broke her hip. She laid on the floor for 3 hours while we waited for an ambulance sobbing in pain and scared, it was awful because I couldn’t do anything to help her. She was in hospital a month, they said the reason she fell was because she had a silent heart attack and was too weak to operate on. Her operation was cancelled twice and we were told she only had a 20% chance of survival. Twice we drove in to hospital to say goodbye. On the 3rd scheduled operation day they went ahead and she did amazingly well, it’s been hard work but she’s now home. I’m petrified she’s going to fall again. Every time my phone rings I’m worried I’m getting that call and we are going to have to do this all again.
In feb before this all happened out of nowhere I felt a massive ectopic heartbeat, I’ve had these before but this one made me feel really dizzy. My anxiety went though the roof but I tried to reason with myself with I’ll see how things go without rushing to my dr. I had a few others over a couple of weeks but none as strong as that first. Then everything happened with my mum and I forgot about them, until yesterday when I felt another one after lifting something heavy at work now I’m wondering if there’s something wrong with my heart, I didn’t know silent heart attacks existed until a few weeks ago.
My car also broke down and I now feel incredibly anxious every time I drive. I live in a small village with no buses so my only option is to drive and I hate it. Looking at my Fitbit my heartrate goes sky high every time I’m in the car.
I feel like I’m lying to everyone smiling that everythings fine but inside I just feel empty. I don’t know what to do to try and feel normal again
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