Partner told me it's over again. Happens every summer.

[WiredIncorrectly]

I bidded on a property this morning. There's non in my area, but I found one that was closer to where my mom lives and seems to be a council flat in a private building because there's no council estate around that area.

I applied for it and it said there was 0 people ahead of me on the list. I will know mid next week if I've been successful.

It would be excellent if I got this place because it's close to my mom, and there's a huge field for the dog next door. I am allowed to take the German Shepard which I am overjoyed about.

Keep your fingers crossed, and keep me in prayers folks. Thank you

[Munki]

Sorry to hear this, James. Sounds like you're an all round top bloke!

My advice, start focusing on YOU! It seems as though you've spent a lot of time on someone elses wellbeing. It really is time to think about what James wants. You deserve to be happy to.

Life isn't about waiting for anyone. I appreciate that tough emotions will come with that, but ultimately, love yourself that bit more and get what you deserve.

Wishing you well <3

[WiredIncorrectly]

Sorry to hear this, James. Sounds like you're an all round top bloke!

My advice, start focusing on YOU! It seems as though you've spent a lot of time on someone elses wellbeing. It really is time to think about what James wants. You deserve to be happy to.

Life isn't about waiting for anyone. I appreciate that tough emotions will come with that, but ultimately, love yourself that bit more and get what you deserve.

Wishing you well <3

Thank you Munki,

I completely agree with you. I need to focus on me. I've had 20 years of 2 long-term relationships and I think for now that is enough for me.

This time next year I'd like to be working as a full-time Python developer getting the wage I deserve and living happy. That is my focus. And my focus is to overcome the demons related to mental health. I've no choice now but to overcome this when I live alone. I think that experience will harden up my mental health.

When I'm in a good place mentally, and career wise, I will then seek a relationship if it's what I wish.

For now it's just me and my dog. I'm 39 this year and it feels like I'm too old for success, but I have to keep reminding myself that is nonsense.

I hope you're keeping well Munki, and enjoying the nice weather

[WiredIncorrectly]

Last night was a bit hard. She is struggling and turned to alcohol which is out of character. I was upset last night.

I've learned that there are two types of love. There is real love, and there is the love where you think it's love, but it's actually a huge mess. And learning this is helping me let go.

I got up this morning and cried. I messaged my mom and my brother and told them I am struggling. They were both very supportive. I phoned my doctor and had a discussion with him. He said the NHS doesn't have people who can unpick my brain and unravel the mess I've built up over the last 20 years. But, he did tell me to find anywhere in the UK that can deal with this (told me to email mind). He said he will make a referral and the NHS will fund it.

I have a lot of love to give. And so does she. There is somebody out there that deserves that love. I am not interested in another relationship, but when the time is right.

It's important to resolve the issues that keep us attached to a relationship that is no longer working. And this is a perfectly normal thing to happen in life.

Just because one chapter has finished, doesn't mean this book is finished.

My religion has kept me strong, and has helped me to be respectful and accepting of this.

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