Joining the rabies anxiety bandwagon- I was bitten by a kitten

[.Poppy.]

Thank you, Worry Raptor. It's likely the kitty just wandered off and will show back up, or if not the chances are greater that she fell victim to another animal vs. being sick, especially as she was effectively fine when I last saw her. I didn't end up calling because my mom said she was going to ask the health department (which made me feel a lot better) but then she messaged me and said my dad didn't think that was necessary. So I'm not sure, I guess I'll decide tomorrow.

I am trying to fight back with logic. The amount of people that become ill with rabies in the US is very, very, very low as-is. It's also incredibly unlikely that the kitten had it since she was very young and also appeared healthy. I also did look on our state's health department website and, while their recommendation is to do the PEP shots if you aren't able to monitor the animal for 10 days, they do say that it's fine to wait until that 10 day mark (even if you can't find the animal, in which case you can spend the 10 days trying to locate them). They also have a table on their site and of the 200-odd cats that have been tested for rabies in the state in 2023, none have been positive. They have had some years where there were some positives, but overwhelmingly most animals tested come up negative, especially domestic animals.

It's just the what if, that I guess is part of health anxiety, that gets me. I know the odds are extremely low and I can tell myself that, but then I ask myself "even at very low risk, is this something you want to risk?". So I'm not sure. I'll see what tomorrow brings.

Thank you for your posts, and for reading my ramblings. Sometimes it helps to just get it out.

[.Poppy.]

Just wanted to rant a bit, if that's okay. I was happy to hear my mom was going to call the health department for me, but then they decided that wasn't necessary. This morning I got a call from the health department, following up after the report that was made. I missed the call since I was at work, but I let my mom know in the hopes she'd offer to just go ahead and call then; she didn't, saying instead they'd talk to their doctor. I saw my mom at lunch and asked her what he said, his opinion was that the likelihood was very low and it was basically up to me to "do with that information what I will". When I told my mom that that was basically no new information, she just said he was very helpful and then said he told her that it's possible to be bitten and not have it be an issue for years. No idea why she thought the idea of it weighing on me for years and years seemed like a comfort, thinking that every illness is it (which I may anyway at this point).

So I called the health department back myself, and the woman was incredibly kind on the phone. She said we had some time, but if we still couldn't find the kitten by day 10 (or so, she's looking up the exact date for me) it would be best to go ahead and get the shots and play it safe. So, since the kitten may or may not resurface, I'll probably end up getting them. Probably by myself since no one else seems to care too much.

One thing she did tell me was that the shots are very expensive. She said her daughter had to get them and that they were covered by insurance, so I'm going to call my insurance this evening and see what they will cover. Even if I have to pay the rest of my deductible it would save me a lot, so I'm hoping they'll cover some of it.

But anyway, that's where we landed and now I'm just sitting at work trying not to burst into tears. I'm just so afraid of getting sick, especially as I live alone with my own dog and cat (whom I find myself needing to hug a lot, as they are fully vaccinated so I don't have to be afraid of them). What if I got sick and they were alone in the house with me?

Anyway, just had to vent. I just feel really alone right now and a little bit resentful.

[.Poppy.]

So, just another brief update. I'll be honest, I'm getting really burnt out over the whole thing and find myself wanting to fall back into my HA mindset of denying anything is wrong at all, but I do realize I need to deal with this.

I called my insurance today and after a very long (but helpful!) call, the woman on the phone was able to contact the hospital and verify the code they use and that my insurance will cover the post exposure shots in full pending review (which I believe means they contact the hospital and verify that it was ordered/necessary). That's a huge relief, and with that development it is likely I'll end up going in on Sunday or Monday to get the shots unless by some miracle the kitten is found this weekend.

Of course now I have to address the anxiety of getting the shots themselves, and fussing that maybe I've waited too long (even though the health department and the state health site both say waiting 10 days is perfectly acceptable). This whole thing is just a mess, but I'm trying to wade through it as best I can.

[.Poppy.]

Just wanted to update - I went to the ER today and after a lot of waiting got the first round of shots (ouch!). I talked to my mom and we basically decided that if the health department recommended it, that was the way to go. We were there for over two hours (why, I have no idea, they got us into a room immediately and it was very empty but we just waited). A doctor came in and basically told me that there hadn't been a case of rabies from a cat in over 35 years - when I mentioned it was a wild, outdoor cat he admitted it raised the risk - so he was basically like "why are you here?". But thankfully my mom was with me and she re-iterated that since we can't find the kitten to verify its status, and the health department and multiple physicians had made this recommendation, that we were here to get the shots unless he had a good reason not to.

I kid you not, he rolled his eyes, said "fine", and then left. The nurse who came in to give the shot then was very kind, and when my mom mentioned the doctor's comments she said that if it were up to her, she'd make the same choice since it's not like the flu or even covid - better safe than sorry.

But I've been to that ER before and never really had a good experience. I went in once when I had a headache with symptoms I feared could be a stroke (blindness, aphasia) and one came in when I was asleep and gave me my summary and discharge information. I woke up just as he said "got that? any questions?".

So now I sit here and worry about side effects from the vaccine itself and if I'm going to be in any pain or anything, but despite that anxiety (and the fact that I have to go back in three more times for follow ups) I think it was the right call. I wasn't sure I could live with the "what if".

[ServerError]

It's a shame to see that you're suffering like this. I know it's hard to see it in yourself, but this is really just the same anxiety spiral and intrusive thought pattern. The theme doesn't really matter - it's the anxiety causing the unpleasant feelings. Personally, I would say don't go to the hospital. Stand up to the anxiety and practice acceptance and tolerance towards the uncertainty. It's incredibly unlikely that there's anything to worry about. Obviously it's not a 0% chance but there are very few situations where we can 100% certain everything is okay. If going to the hospital would truly help and you could move on after that, there might be some value in it so it's up to you to decide for sure, but if you think the spiral will continue regardless, then the time to get working on the anxiety is now.

Edited to add that after I wrote this, your new post appeared, so obviously the advice is a little outdated. I still think you have nothing to worry about and, as always, the issue is really one of aberrant thought patterns. Don't mean to sound dismissive. As if I would be, given my own history. Just hoping to help you realise what the real issue is here. I appreciate in the US there is rabies circulating, albeit at a very low level, but the chance of it ever affecting you are unbelievably low.

[.Poppy.]

Thank you, ServerError. I do recognize that anxiety had me in its grips, and I think I did okay considering - a few years ago and it would have been much worse! So I suppose I should celebrate the small wins. I do think I made the right choice overall, as even being rare it is a serious issue and was recommended by multiple professionals, but of course now just have to deal with the anxiety surrounding that decision anyway. I think that's the rub with anxiety; it's damned if you do, damned if you don't - you'll be upset anyway.

[WorryRaptor]

Just checked in on this thread now.

So glad to hear you got sorted at the ER (though it sounds like a stressful experience, some doctors needs lessons on bedside manners)
You've really been through a lot with this. Anxiety or not, that experience would have anybody extremely stressed out, but it sounds like you handled it all extremely well. I think in this case, being extra cautious was the sensible approach considering what could have been a (very) minute possibility, and you pressed for what you needed.

I'm glad you didn't let them brush you off. The reason why rabies cases are so very rare, is because people get vaccinations after an encounter with a wild animal/animal acting strange. I think the general public and some physicians tend to confuse this with the rarity of the disease itself. While the chances were extraordinarily low for you, as it wasn't a raccoon etc attacking you, merely an excited kitten with a penchant for food, it still was better to take the safer option. It's one of those necessary "overreactions" because of how serious the disease is, and multiple professionals supported you on that. I think you acted very rationally in this case.

I hope you feel better soon. I can only imagine how exhausting it all must feel after the anxiety you were dealing with over this. Sending virtual hugs from somebody who used to have an irrational fear of this stuff! I developed OCD phobic behaviour due to a bunch of vitamin deficiencies that were messing with my brain. I was convinced that ninja bats were going to get me at any second! While I don't feel the anxiety now, I can remember how powerless I felt while I spiralled in fear.

[.Poppy.]

Thank you, Worry Raptor. It's definitely been a ride. I will hopefully feel a lot better when the entire course is done and I can just move on.

The doctor definitely surprised me (not in a good way) but I'm glad I stuck to what the health department recommended. I can't believe he tried to tell me to go against their advice. He was also wrong - rabies in domestic cats is rare, but my state publishes annual reports of animals that have been tested and how many have come up positive, and there have been positive cases in cats in the last few years. It's not something I wanted to mess with.

Hope everything is okay for you! I remember how I was when I was really in the throes of HA and how awful this would have been back then; it's still been a challenge but I've gotten on with it. It's nice to come out the other side a bit and have a little more rationality.

[WorryRaptor]

[QUOTE] I remember how I was when I was really in the throes of HA and how awful this would have been back then; it's still been a challenge but I've gotten on with it. It's nice to come out the other side a bit and have a little more rationality./QUOTE]

It sounds like you handled this whole situation better than somebody without anxiety! I hope you're feeling a lot better now

Hope everything is okay for you!

I'm doing pretty well thanks Once I sorted out my nutrition issues, I didn't experience the anxiety any more. (Apart from a normal mild blip during really stressful events!)