I’m afraid I’ll never be able to have kids

[AlwaysWorried23]

Hello everyone. I am 23 years old and am getting married in a few months. There is something that’s been on my mind a lot lately.. in fact it’s pretty crushing to me.

My periods have always been somewhat irregular from time to time. A few years ago missed a few months and the dr did an ultrasound and did not see any cysts or anything problematic. She did say that I most likely have pcos ( I have a lot of symptoms of it) and that that can make having kids difficult. I am also a bit on the heavier side, and I know I do need to lose weight.

My fiancé and I have been having unprotected intercourse since January. ( 7 months now ) Out of those months a few times my period was a week or more late and I kept thinking I was pregnant but I never was.

I’ve been buying ovulation tests and testing daily, but I am only getting light lines..never dark and definitely nowhere near dark enough to be a positive ovulation test.

This is crushing to me. I feel like I must not be ovulating, I want a baby so badly and I feel like I am failing every month when my period comes. I don’t have anyone to talk to, all of my friends are getting pregnant left and right and saying it was their first few tries.

I know I need to lose weight, but I’m too afraid to go to the dr over it. I feel like he won’t take my seriously and will just tell me to lose weight before he will try to help me.

I don’t know, my last few periods have been on the date regular, but still no positive ovulation tests. Maybe I needed to vent more than anything. I’m so sad/concerned. I am so tired of feeling so sad and worried over every little health related thing, this one is just tough to swallow. My fiancé will make comments about “someday when we have kids, I can’t wait for you to be pregnant” and it just hurts to hear because I am so convinced I’m infertile. I mention being worried to him sometimes, but he always wants to reassure me that it will happen someday.

I guess I’m looking for some encouragement. :(

[Catkins]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. I know it's easy for me to say, but maybe try and focus on wedding for now and think about getting pregnant afterwards?

[ErinKC]

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. I know it's easy for me to say, but I think you should just be open with your doctor about your worries. Do you like your OBGYN? Make an appointment and explain your concerns. I also recommend the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility by Toni Weschler. I read it years ago, long before I was planning to have a baby, and I found it fascinating just from the standpoint of understanding my body. When I wanted to get pregnant I used it to help me get more in tune with my cycle. I then gave it to a friend who was struggling to conceive and she was able to use it to pinpoint what she thought the issue was, speak to her doctor about it, and she was right! She was able to correct it and conceive. I'm not saying it's always an easy fix, but I think it's always best to be open with your doctor. Don't let them weight shame you! People of all weights and body types can get pregnant and carry babies. And, if he does give you a hard time consider changing doctors!