Fear of intruders, has anyone had help with this?

[Lencoboy]

I think it's a more a matter of the pandemic being so divisive, at least over here (yes, I'm in the US), and it sharpened divides between people that were already there along with political differences. It sort of highlighted the difference between people who were more community minded (willing to take the recommended measures to protect others) and those who were hyper individualistic (people who thought they were healthy enough it would be just a cold for them, so they didn't care to follow recommendations) and there is a lot of resentment about that.

Also, I think the cost of living crisis is at play. It makes people restless and angry, and if they are hard up, maybe more likely to steal things.

But of course some it has always been happening, it's just that we're more aware of certain things. In some respects, things are safer now.

Rosanna, I do think radical acceptance is important. And maybe my perspective isn't the best, but I do think having things in place to make you feel safer is also important. I have a couple of cameras and sensors on exterior doors, and an alarm I set when I'm not home so that I can generally be alerted if something is amiss and try to deal with it.

I think you're correct in the sense of the pandemic being so divisive with certain elements of society using it to further fuel their existing agendas and prejudices, which I think has been the case pretty much the world over. And when times are harder some people do often have a bit of a tendency to be more irrational, and twas ever thus to a certain extent.

I remember it also happened with the second Iraq war in the mid 2000s, and then the (last) GFC at the end of said decade. Also here in the UK it was Brexit during the late 2010s and then of course (globally) the Covid pandemic in the early 2020s, and now into the mid 2020s it's the COL crisis, the Ukraine war and general political chaos on both sides of the Atlantic, with Trump constantly sticking the knife in Stateside during his time in opposition since the end of 2020 forever accusing Biden and Co of 'stealing' the vote (which he and his fellow cronies probably did in 2016 but denied it all) and us having gotten through 4 different sitting PMs here in the UK since 2019.

I also think you're correct in the sense that we're probably more aware of certain issues and hazards nowadays than ever before, as opposed to them actually being far greater than at any time in history. One issue in particular since the 90s has been (and still is) the perceived 'epidemic' of paedophilia, despite superior evidence that it's actually no worse now than at any time since records began, but the perception (and fear) of it seems to be much greater now than ever before, which has no doubt been unduly hyped up by the media on both sides of the Atlantic over the past 30-odd years or so, and many youngsters have sadly been robbed of their independence over the same period due to the overblown media frenzy (sometimes often in the name of profiteering) rather than the actual threat, which may sometimes in turn become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Also, contrary to popular belief, most people (of all ages) are usually attacked by people they already know (even including relatives) rather than at random by total strangers.

[Rosanna]

You're very welcome Rosanna.

Well I haven't heard nor read about any nationwide burglary epidemics in the media recently, and if there have been any the media to the best of my knowledge haven't made a song and danced over it. Also remember that the chances of being burgled were far greater back in the 80s and 90s than they seem to be now, as historical official stats show.

BIB 1: The gardener is probably the most likely culprit for leaving your rear gate open. He sounds a bit of a fool and indeed a liability for not shutting it as that in turn (dare I say it) could be a potential magnet for intruders. Someone seriously needs to have a quiet word in his ear.

BIB 2: This may simply be more perception rather than true reality, as I personally think that the pandemic has largely contributed to us feeling more sensitive and hypervigilant towards certain things that already long existed previously but used to just go over our heads most of the time. One thing in particular for me (as I have already mentioned in other threads on here) is nuisance noise from cars (and motorbikes) with loud souped-up engines and exhausts with the drivers driving them like lunatics and often blaring out loud music from their car stereos with the windows wide open.

As far as street lighting is concerned, newer-style LED lamp heads have sprung up en masse in my neck of the woods over the past year or two, replacing the old-style SOX and SON types, either retrofitted to existing columns or complete brand new columns with the new LED lamp heads installed. Allegedly, these newer LED lamp heads consume far less power than conventional types and can be left on all night, and no doubt your local authority will eventually switch over to them.

Yes I'll speak to the gardener. I think it's the most likely explanation.

I generally agree with everything you say and that's why I've never really had this specific anxiety before. Our area is going through a blip and that does seem to have occurred since the pandemic, but I don't think the pandemic is responsible for everything. In fact I think for some it has been used as an excuse.

But there have been a number of changes in my area. You could always walk about at any time of the day or night and you really can't now. Even going down to my car, which was in a car park nearby, there would be men standing by their cars and just gawping at me, as if I was an alien that had landed in the car park (that was the look, not even attraction, just a 'why are you here?' look, as if I was invading their territory). I almost said to one of them that I'd been doing the same thing for 20 years, this was my territory and really nothing new was going on here even though he seemed to think there was. Another old drunk couple just stood still and stared as I went to my car on another occasion and then the guy said 'I would.' And the girl laughed out loud. At the time I just found it irritating and said people don't talk like that around here, because they really didn't. I'm not saying nothing ever happened but it was seriously rare. No exaggeration. That couple clearly couldn't believe I had the gall to answer back, but gradually over time it's become clear that something has changed.

Yet it's still a really nice place to live and I only developed all this since the garden gate was found to be open. Yet I know there's a number of reasons for that.

[Lencoboy]

Yes I'll speak to the gardener. I think it's the most likely explanation.

I generally agree with everything you say and that's why I've never really had this specific anxiety before. Our area is going through a blip and that does seem to have occurred since the pandemic, but I don't think the pandemic is responsible for everything. In fact I think for some it has been used as an excuse.

But there have been a number of changes in my area. You could always walk about at any time of the day or night and you really can't now. Even going down to my car, which was in a car park nearby, there would be men standing by their cars and just gawping at me, as if I was an alien that had landed in the car park (that was the look, not even attraction, just a 'why are you here?' look, as if I was invading their territory). I almost said to one of them that I'd been doing the same thing for 20 years, this was my territory and really nothing new was going on here even though he seemed to think there was. Another old drunk couple just stood still and stared as I went to my car on another occasion and then the guy said 'I would.' And the girl laughed out loud. At the time I just found it irritating and said people don't talk like that around here, because they really didn't. I'm not saying nothing ever happened but it was seriously rare. No exaggeration. That couple clearly couldn't believe I had the gall to answer back, but gradually over time it's become clear that something has changed.

Yet it's still a really nice place to live and I only developed all this since the garden gate was found to be open. Yet I know there's a number of reasons for that.

IMO it's largely down to the 'blame culture' that's been a thing for a long time now, and the pandemic is one of the latest in a long line of 'scapegoats'.

In the late 2000s and very early 2010s it was the Global Financial Crisis, which many also used as an excuse and 'scapegoat' for division, polarisation and carte blanche to be up themselves, when it should ideally have been a time of greater altruism.

Mind you, I think the media at the time had a lot to answer for in terms of riling people up (especially the most gullible of our society that will just believe pretty much anything and everything spewed out by both the conventional press and social media) and excessively politicising said crisis, and also to a certain extent during Covid.

Surely by 2025 many people will have no doubt moved on to the next 'scapegoat' for their personal woes, whatever it may be.

[Rosanna]

Anyone had CBT for this type of anxiety?