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Thread: Current Situation - Rock Bottom

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
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    1,330

    Current Situation - Rock Bottom

    Hi all,

    I just wanted to reach out and summarise where I am to see if anyone can offer any light that might make me feeling a little less hopeless.

    As you will have seen from my previous thread, Iíve had a really anxious time lately, starting with me being fixated on everyone going away on trips, and me being left on my own for days at a time, which happened nearly every week or every other week for a few months.

    Since then, my anxiety levels have become out of control, Iíve spiralled. Iím anxious 24/7, and where before my anxiety was GAD with very rare panic attacks, Iím now having them every day, even lying in my own bed. Iíve become scared to do anything, havenít showered in a week, and canít really do anything. It just never eases. Iím forcing enough food down me to keep me going but itís not enough.
    I have a referral to a psychiatrist from the GP and am trying to find a private one to look at meds, as the NHS have been less than useless.

    Iíve basically become frozen to do anything that might actually help me. Does anyone have any advice on steps I can take to get myself out of it?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
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    7,777

    Re: Current Situation - Rock Bottom

    Okay, I know you won't want to hear this, but...

    Get up. Have a shower. Being clean when you're mentally ill is really hard but it does make you feel better, and I say that as somebody who struggles to shower.

    Put clothes on, comfy ones. New ones are the best because they just feel different, but anything clean and non-restrictive.

    Go out into the garden and focus on the grass, the birds, anything you can see or hear.

    Engaging your senses will help you ignore the screaming in your brain.
    __________________
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    Sometimes, it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
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    Re: Current Situation - Rock Bottom

    Hi mate.

    Yeah, the shower is something I find really uncomfortable for some reason. I canít wait to get back out of it, and then almost feel woozy afterwards which leads to anxiety. I will try and add it back in to my night time routine though.

    Iíve been trying to walk outside when I go for my cigarettes, but it doesnít seem to help.

    I also need a haircut and a shave, I look like a yeti, as both have been months.

  4. #4
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    Nov 2018
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    Re: Current Situation - Rock Bottom

    Next steps: try a cooler shower? I find hot water makes me feel weirder than lukewarm.

    Going outside might not help but it'll absolutely stop things getting worse and your world narrowing any further than it already has.

    Have a shave now, then find a hairdresser who'll come and visit. Try changing your style, even; seeing somebody different when you look in the mirror can be a real boost.
    __________________
    ************************************************** ********
    Sometimes, it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness. - Terry Pratchett

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
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    Re: Current Situation - Rock Bottom

    Thatís a good idea, maybe itís the increase in heat that is making me woozy - will try tonight.

    Yeah, Iíve got to keep doing as much as I can havenít I. I havenít been able to have my haircut by anyone else for years, so will do it f when I can.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2017
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    Re: Current Situation - Rock Bottom

    What are you eating? Have you tried any of the calorie rich meal supplements….Complan and the like. Mixed with whole milk 250ml can give you 400 calories. My mother has it. I’m trying to think of that other drink? Huell? Or something like that.

    If drinking is easier, make yourself easy to swallow food. Soups (Cream of) yoghurts, eggs etc. The more calories you get in you the better you will feel. Then as you feel better you can progress to a greater variety of food.

    But BI is spot on. If you look rough…( sorry not meaning to be rude) you will feel rough. Get a lukewarm shower, have a shave, wash your hair. Doesn’t matter if it needs a cut. Long hair is ok. Change your bedding. Get some clean fleecy pjs on and look after yourself. Your body is trying to get back to the status quo, however hard it seems to believe that…so help it along. Don’t punish your body for your anxiety. Sit outside, it’s nice today. The robins are singing.

    Have you been given any time scale as to getting professional help?
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  7. #7
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    Re: Current Situation - Rock Bottom

    Iíve found some wholegrain breakfast bars that I seem to be able to eat ok, and they are 195 calories each, so them an I normally try and get a small evening meal down me. Itís not so much the eating, itís the fear of eating making me anxiousÖ Iím basically scared everything is going to make me panic, so Iím stuck doing nothing, which is obviously creating itís own panic.

    No offence taken, I look rough. Unwashed, unshaven, and at a dangerously low weight isnít pretty.

    If I try and work, itís like my mind canít handle it and overwhelms me, which is frustrating.

    I have a private psychologist who isnít proving much use to be honest, but the main message is that I need to get my attention off myself and my anxiety, which makes perfect sense, but itís impossible when my mind isnít capable of anything else, and if I sit quietly I panic over frankly nothing. Iím trying all sorts of things like crosswords, going through the horse racing cards, watching tv, anything in the hope to just give my mind a break, but nothing helps. The NHS have given me a referral to a private psychiatrist, but I just need to find the right one.

  8. #8
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    Re: Current Situation - Rock Bottom

    Can you ask for some anti-anxiety meds from GP for the time between your referral and seeing a psychiatrist?

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
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    Re: Current Situation - Rock Bottom

    Iím terrified of taking medications because of past experiences, so the big thing with the psychiatrist will be to discuss all my concerns with him and put my mind at ease so that hopefully I can bring myself to take them.

    I havenít taken so much as a paracetamol in over 10 years.

  10. #10
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    Oct 2016
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    Re: Current Situation - Rock Bottom

    I had a cooler shower last night, and although I was already really anxious, I didnít get woozy feeling - good tip from Blue there.
    I got slightly calmer when I was in bed, which I normally do, but I never feel like Iíve slept and was having a panic attack within 10 minutes of waking up which is still coming in waves now, and this tends to be me for the day now - this is the cycle I need to try and break.
    Last edited by LittleLionMan; 14-09-23 at 08:30.

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