Neighbours

[WiredIncorrectly]

They're so god damn aggravating!

Every day they've got something to say to me. Like a dig. The lady downstairs has a dog who seems to bark when I vacuum, or walk around. It barks all day anyway, and those pair are constantly screaming at each other. It doesn't really bother me, but it does bother me when I feel like I'm being monitored in my own home.

The council lady is telling me I need to get flooring by the end of the month, but I can't afford that. It's 300 for lino and fitting for one room!

Another lady at the bottom has a cockapoodle. I was walking the old tyme english bulldog the the small field. He's on his harness, and a choke chain. Suddenly this dog comes running up to him barking at him in his face. So he reacts and barks back. The lady comes walking around the corner annoyed and instantly says "omg an XL".

Wtaf?! He's not XL for one, he's pedigree old tyme english. But the cheek of her to blame my dog, when I am the one being a responsible owner. Her dog has no recall, so the dog should be leaded. That's what responsible owners do. She doesn't even live here, her sister does.

I'm angry because she's telling other neighbors he's a dangerous XL. I've only got him here for a few more weeks, because ex is moving now. But I feel like people are talking about me.

I'm respectful, polite, and offer to help people. I go out and sweep the landings. I clean up after my dogs. I don't get why they're targeting me. I think they're old and just like to have a moan. I don't even play music or watch TV because I'm nervous they will moan about the noise.

[Carnation]

You'll always get people moan wired, wherever you are.
There's two things you can do. Smile and say "good morning / good afternoon". Or as you say, go out of your way to do little things that make a difference.
These people crumble when you are nice because they are not getting the reaction they are expecting.
Carpets? Get rugs. I love rugs and you can move them around. You get several for under your £300.
The council woman was wrong to insist you get carpet when you don't have the funds. Maybe she could suggest how you purchase these with no money.
These are all of life's niggles and somehow you have to learn to let it go over your head.

[Darksky]

Have a look on eBay for carpets or rugs. Sometimes you can find end of rolls, leftovers from carpet laying etc.

There are always miserable people in this world, James. They are only happy when they are complaining. Keep your dog leashed and then it’s always under your control. That’s the key.
But yes, keep on smiling and being a good citizen and the vast majority will see you as that. The miseries will be shouting in the wind.

[WiredIncorrectly]

Hey Carnation,

Yes this is what I do. I am polite and friendly and I respect them. I called the council to explain I'm nervous about the neighbors being angry at the footsteps. But she said nothing they can do and it's expected.

Great idea on the rugs! I actually went to an Indian place once and the floor was all rugs. Very cosy and warm. You've just given me an idea!

[WiredIncorrectly]

I've found lots of rugs like these: https://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/364491403...G4dWrm4SsQLw30

I don't understand how they can be so cheap? Are these ok quality? I'm a bit of a noob on ebay.

[Carnation]

Wow! That seems cheap. I would have thought £99.99 for that lounge rug. Maybe that's the price of a runner.
It does look quite thin the way it folds up.
Also look for sellers with 100% rating.

[Lencoboy]

Sounds like your neighbour downstairs is making a mountain out of a molehill, especially by having the cheek to complain about your vacuuming but constantly rowing and screaming with her other half is hypocritical in the extreme.

Everyone needs to use vacuum cleaners, lawnmowers, electric drills, etc from time to time as long as it's at reasonable times and not day in day out but by the same token people don't really need to be rowing and screaming at each other day in day out, which is actually far more inconsiderate than using electric machinery once or twice a week through necessity. Plus being of the older generation they should ultimately be mature and experienced enough to know better, but sadly some people never seem to grow up and act their age.

It also sucks that you're getting it in the neck from your other neighbour about walking your ex's old tyme English bulldog around your local area and her wrongly labelling it an XL bull terrier and spreading BS gossip about it when clearly she's the one in the wrong by assuming she has a god-given right to let her dog run amok off the lead and have the cheek to have hissy fits at you and your ex's dog, and make false accusations. She sounds like a typical untouchable blame gamer who thinks in very black-and-white ways.

Conversely, it could be 'new neighbour syndrome', where they might be feeling a little mistrustful of you despite you having done nothing obviously wrong, and feeling a bit 'territorial', at least until they get to know you a bit better and you've finally proved that you're no threat to anyone, which I know you're not.

I remember when I first started attending my current day centre back in 2017 certain staff members and some other clients there initially seemed a little hostile towards me simply because I was a 'new boy' but things eventually settled down as we finally got to know each other.

Fear of the unknown I guess.

[Catkins]

They are a good price, but make sure you check the size, by my reckoning it was £89.99 for the largest.

I would also have a look at Wayfair, I got the rug for our front room from there and the thickness is really good.

[fishman65]

James, people can develop preconceptions about social groups. You're male and 'youngish' am I right? Some people will label you before bothering to find out a little more about you as a person.

Back in the early 90s, myself and two mates went for a break in Northumberland. We hadn't booked anywhere in advance which in retrospect was a mistake. So three blokes mid to late 20s. Every caravan site or rental cottage we tried was a straight 'No' until in desperation we called in at Tourist Info at Morpeth. There just happened to be a farmer who hired out cottages and could fit us in with one.

We absolutely wrecked it!! No seriously, we were on a walking holiday and left the cottage as we found it. But yes we can get labelled in life, which is what's happening with you I think.

[Lencoboy]

James, people can develop preconceptions about social groups. You're male and 'youngish' am I right? Some people will label you before bothering to find out a little more about you as a person.

Back in the early 90s, myself and two mates went for a break in Northumberland. We hadn't booked anywhere in advance which in retrospect was a mistake. So three blokes mid to late 20s. Every caravan site or rental cottage we tried was a straight 'No' until in desperation we called in at Tourist Info at Morpeth. There just happened to be a farmer who hired out cottages and could fit us in with one.

We absolutely wrecked it!! No seriously, we were on a walking holiday and left the cottage as we found it. But yes we can get labelled in life, which is what's happening with you I think.

That's exactly my point Fishman.

Many people are often unduly prejudiced and have a tendency to jump to hasty conclusions without making rational and logical analyses beforehand. Coupled with the current 'moral panic' concerning XL bull terriers and their being one of the latest in a long line of societal 'scapegoats', plus the mistaken identities of certain other dogs of similar appearance and size, which is yet another case of 'labelling' and 'jumping to conclusions', despite (in James's case in particular) such dogs not actually being the current 'cursed' breed.

And regarding James's neighbours in the flat below complaining about his vacuuming; surely they also need to use their own vacuum cleaner, washing machine, etc, at least once per week, and do the occasional DIY jobs in their flat involving the use of hammers, power tools, etc. Plus them having loud arguments on a regular basis without even giving it as much as a second thought for their fellow neighbours in the block and likely disturbing them certainly speaks volumes (pardon the pun)!

I for one have always found hearing loud arguments extremely disturbing and unnerving even at the best of times, and often can't even listen to them on TV without major panic attacks, despite them usually being fictitious, especially in the case of films, TV dramas and soaps.