Originally Posted by
WiredIncorrectly
This isn't good.
Since the dogs have been here my mental health has been slowly declining. It's hard looking after them and having them in a home that it too small.
Last night I put my dog in his crate, and left the old tymer out. He pee'ed and pooped all over my floor. I was livid, because he gets let out often. This was the reason why I didn't leave him out at night.
My GS has now picked this up and did exactly the same thing. He's never done it before, and I let him our for a wee and poop 30 minutes before. It's not his fault though, because last night I couldn't do his nighttime walk. I was in a mess mentally and spent the day lying on my bed.
I called the ex and asked her for help, and all I am getting back is "how is this fair for me?", and "you're always moaning about those dogs", or "I have to walk 20 mins from the hotel" ... so?! And what winds me up is when her friend calls, she's off in a shot no moaning about walking or whatever pains she has. Yet when I mention something, she's too ill to move.
I feel like I'm being used here. Her cousin came down and she doesn't even speak to me. Yet, when her cousin wasn't here she was calling me constantly because she was bored. I tell her not to do this because it interrupts whatever I'm doing. But she does it anyway.
Her friend took her out to get some shopping yesterday. It annoyed me, because I have spent all my money to make sure she and my son are fed. But her friend sits there and slates me like I'm a bad person and won't bother to help me out. She doesn't have to, but she shouldn't slate me when all I've done is help my ex. But my ex couldn't even tell her friend that the food is coming to mine to be stored and cooked. Instead her friend made her go back to the old house to get her slow cooker and toaster, and told her to keep the food in the hotel. What?!
I'm just fed up. My own mental health has took a massive hit, and everybody is living life like this is expected of me and I should be doing this. This is choice that I regret I made. I've been abused and taken the piss out of for other peoples benefit.
Mental hospital has kicked me off and I need to get a re-referral. All because my mom couldn't get here on time to take me. My doctor there said he is refusing to book me another appointment and I need to go through the process again.
I'm just stuck. I lay on bed last night and kept having thoughts of self harm, and thinking my life would be easier if I just ended it.
I'm stuck, and lost. I just want to be alone and don't want any of this mess. Non of it is my fault. I am getting no help for doing this.
I thought living next door to a crazy lady was bad, this is 10x worse.
I feel like a psychic at the moment. I predicted all this would happen. I told her to keep away from that lady, I told my son before I left. Now my son is asking "how did you know this would happen?" ... because I can see scumbags from a mile off.
Arughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
I can feel myself entering self destruct mode. I feel like breaking the law to end up in prison so people leave me alone. It was peaceful in jail. Non of this crap.