Women of a certain age...

[alpacagirl]

Hopefully they are just taking the cautious route Julia. I guess that's better and you'll have answers quickly to put your mind at ease. Pkstracey that would be super frustrating!! So close. I'm 52 and still in the joys of super heavy frequent periods. Had 2 back to back lasting 3 weeks all up ( with constant spotting inbetween) and then 15 days of peace then a heavy one again. I think it's done after 4 days but don't want to jinx myself by saying that LOL. Sometimes they do like to do the stop start thing. It's so mentally and physically draining. Luckily my iron levels are hanging in there and I'm not anaemic. I do take a lot of iron supps to keep it up. My dad has gone into palliative care and I think all the stress isn't helping the hormones.

[alpacagirl]

Yep I did jinx myself Going through this feels so lonely even though so many women go through it at once.

[NoraB]

Lack of sex drive

I really love Kate Bush, but I really hate Babooshka.

The woman is older. Her looks have gone. She's worried she'll lose him to some young thing with oestrogen in abundance and a functioning pelvic floor.

"Just like his wife before she freezed on him"

This line, in particular, winds me right up, KATE!! (But, I also love you from afar and wear a t shirt with your lovely face on it)

I'm thinking that this woman - Babs - hit the meno, like I hit the meno.

I used to love getting jiggy with Mr B. (very good outlet for my anxious energy too)

Then I had my son by emergency c section (39) and was hurtled into an early menopause at the age of 39.

Que a whole host of symptoms... sweats, mood swings - temporary insanity.

Also, a weird change in how perfume smells on me. (I used the same kind for decades, then it started to smell like fox wee)

Fast forward a couple of years and my doc is peering intently into my vagina saying, "Mrs B, you have atrophy"

I said "A trophy?"

I thought I'd won an award for the best looking fadge (or worst)

I was in my early 40s!

Turns out that I have vaginal and vulval atrophy - thinning of the skin and shortening of the vaginal walls. (To explain this, after birthing my children, sex became like tossing a chipolata down an entry. Had to contort myself to feel anything. These days, the walls of my vadge could grip a hairpin)

If I use toilet paper that isn't scent free and made of bamboo, I feel like my bits have been sand-papered and I have to sit with cool gel packs between my legs.

I haven't used bubble bath for years...

My undies can only be washed in plain water. (no detergent)

I still have libido (ish) as having a chronic condition (Fibro) and being in pain all time isn't exactly good for the sex drive, but it still there, and I miss the version of me that never, ever though this would become a permanent issue.

My libido is nothing remotely like it was. But there are days when I still get a tingle in me nethers. (Problem is that sex hurts, a lot, and I can't even use the HRT topical cream because of reactions to it)

Mr B is an understanding bloke. I try to explain it to him by asking him to imagine taking a belt sander to his nut cutlets, then dipping them in vinegar... (at this point, his eyes widen and his hand hovers protectively over his crotchal area)

According to my doc, I've been "unfortunate" in the level of atrophy as not all women have this problem (weeps)

Atrophy has been the hardest thing of the meno for me to deal with. (Most women with this issue get around it by using HRT, but that's not an option for me for reasons relating to the Fibromyalgia)

I look at Mr B, and the dude just gets more handsome with age. His hair and beard peppered with all shades of brown and grey - like a magnificent badger.

Meanwhile, like "Babooshka", I worry that he'll look elsewhere...

For me, the meno has been as much a psychological ride as it is physical.

But, for what's been taken from me, I've also gained in other ways.

I actually like myself now. something that's taken the best part of 50 years to achieve...

I wouldn't say no to a less irritated fadge, though.

[Pkstracy]

it's 90 degrees outside, after being 65-70s almost all month and the lows at night in the 50s I am in the house, it feels like it's 65 in here and I am having cold chills but my hands and feet are sweaty, it did this exactly a year ago, I am so over going through the change.

[Pkstracy]

Well ladies I am feeling it this week, been crying, anxious, two days ago woke up with very dry, blurry eyes, the next day they were okay, just a little tiredness, then yesterday I woke up feeling like I was going to have that time of the month or having a phantom one, I was cramping, gassy, ovary flutters and some pain, feeling like I was going to get sick to my stomach, pooping a lot more, bloated. Today I wake up feeling okay, sort of still felt like I may start, I eat breakfast two hours later I am having loose stool, ovary twinges, not wanting to be alone dealing with eye issues. in two weeks it would have been one year ago since I had my last monthly, but in sept I got a day or two of brownish spotting not sure if it was ovulation spotting or an actual period, it was so light I didn't have to wear a pad or really have anything come out, but I was told, I had to start the count again. I feel like going nope I'm done, but at least my year will be up in sept instead of November, I don't know part of me wants to be like yeah my year is up when November 26th gets here, and part of me is like okay let's count down to Sept 4th 2026.

[CatLady1]

Hi all, I haven't dropped by here in a while. Working through my self-help CBT exercises to combat the latest health anxiety spiral. God, this is exhausting.

(I was on early recall cervical screening because I tested positive for high risk HPV in 2024 - this year's test came back all clear and negative... and after a few days of being happy with that result, I started dwelling on the fact that the nurse had mentioned my cervix looked a bit red and bled slightly on the swab, like "but what if the redness was cancer?")