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Thread: Stress is horrendus

  1. #11
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    May 2014
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    Re: Stress is horrendus

    Do you think your son might be blaming himself for certain situations? Just a thought.
    Pleased to hear the painting is coming along.

  2. #12
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    Jul 2016
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    Re: Stress is horrendus

    Quote Originally Posted by Carnation View Post
    Do you think your son might be blaming himself for certain situations? Just a thought.
    Pleased to hear the painting is coming along.
    It's possible yes, but he won't open up about it. I'm hoping he will open up to the people at CAMS. They're on the top of his arm so I don't think he's actively trying to do the worst. It looks more like a coping mechanism which I can understand. I feel guilty because I feel like this is my fault and he learned this from me. He did ask about the scars on my arm a year or so ago and I had a good chat with him about how I struggled.

    I had to walk my son to the bus stop, and just bust my toe open. I slipped on mud in my sliders and my big toe hit a large rock. I've just cut them up and put them in the bin. The things are dangerous. I broke my toe in October because of them
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  3. #13
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    Re: Stress is horrendus

    Oh God yes, sliders are bloody dangerous.

    Earlier on this year, I slipped in mine, strained all the ligaments in my ankle, bruised my ribs and face palmed concrete, bashing my cheek bone and top right teeth. Mr. D picked them up and threw them in the bin. I’ve never worn a pair since. Hope your toe doesn’t take long to heal.
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  4. #14
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    May 2014
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    Re: Stress is horrendus

    I didn't realise it was that bad an accident darksky. And you hardly moaned.
    There should be a health warning on those things that disguise themselves as footwear.

    It's not your fault wired, it's just something that happens out of your control.
    Look at the wealthy celebs that have kids taking drugs, drinking excessively and so on.
    I know you are good dad by what I've read in your posts.

  5. #15
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    Re: Stress is horrendus

    Quote Originally Posted by Darksky View Post
    Oh God yes, sliders are bloody dangerous.

    Earlier on this year, I slipped in mine, strained all the ligaments in my ankle, bruised my ribs and face palmed concrete, bashing my cheek bone and top right teeth. Mr. D picked them up and threw them in the bin. I’ve never worn a pair since. Hope your toe doesn’t take long to heal.
    Ouch! That sounds really painful. I thought it was just me who was clumsy in sliders. Yes they're are so dangerous. The toe I broke in October appears to be rebroken again. It's the same toe. And that bone up the back of the foot feels like it strained. It's all getting better, but I keep bashing this toe and it's so painful.

    My sliders did over 1000 miles easily. I used to love them. But after those 2 major incidents I'm not going to risk them.
    __________________
    The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.

    “I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned.” - Richard Feynman

    ☪️️

  6. #16
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    Jul 2016
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    Re: Stress is horrendus

    Hello folks,

    I'm just checking in because I'm not doing great again.

    The past 2 weeks I've had terrible insomnia. And not being able to sleep. It's nothing to do with the heat. But, I toss and turn all night. Sometimes quite violently, and I can wake up with various aches and pains as a result. I can't sleep longer than an hour without waking up again.

    I also keep waking up in a dream/awake like state with my arms in the air, or stroking the wall.

    The lack of sleep then affects my every day living. I lack motivation and energy to clean the house, so if I skip a day I start to feel grimy, dirty, and itchy.

    Which then causes worse anxiety, agitation about dirty etc.

    But worse than the above I've been having intrusive thoughts. Very horrible thoughts that I do not want to discuss in detail. Ranging from incest, murder, and rigorous plotting of how to commit the perfect crime. Among other things.

    The thoughts can occupy my mind for a long time, and trying to not think about them makes it worse. I definitely do not want to be dwelling in such thoughts because then I start to question "What is wrong with me?!". And that I'm a bad human for having these thoughts.

    Often times it's like battling 2 people in my brain. One calls me negative #?!@ and the other tells me I'm ok, and it's normal. But my thoughts are occupied and focused on the negative a lot more than the positive.

    I've watched some videos on the topic that have kind of helped me but atm I'm having many of these intrusive thoughts.

    I was contemplating calling the crisis team, but I just feel like they'll laugh at me with their colleagues when they get off the phone. Or worse, call the police. It's difficult discussing the intrusive thoughts.

    Life is very dull and unmotivating at the moment. I'm not eating properly and have no appetite. I try to go for walks through the woods with the dog, but I just want to hurry up and get back home.

    I'm walking out in a winter jacket with my hood up so I can avoid looking at people and they can avoid looking at me.

    I feel trapped right now. I want to be doing things. I want motivation. I want to continue with my electronics project. But there's just no spark.

    Life sucks sometimes.
    __________________
    The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.

    “I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned.” - Richard Feynman

    ☪️️

  7. #17
    Join Date
    May 2014
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    11,081

    Re: Stress is horrendus

    It's a difficult needing to talk to someone and being afraid of the outcome. But if it's that bad then you may need to.
    I can relate to the sleeping issues and vivid dreams and it seems it's a way of processing stress or past trauma.
    You could speak to your GP about getting something to calm you.
    I'm feel for you wired, I know you don't like being this way.

  8. #18
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    Mar 2018
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    852

    Re: Stress is horrendus

    *sits down by you,and puts arm around your shoulders inhales some air through my nose and out my mouth and whispers* No matter how bad it gets, just remember that you matter..when i tried to take my life two years ago, I didn't think I would ever see beauty in this world again, my husband took me to the beach the next day, we were sitting there and I saw this flash come out of the water and then again and again, I broke down crying when I realized what it was, it was a dolphin, playing in the water and jumping, I was crying because it was so beautiful, and that was the first time I ever saw a dolphin in the wild like that, and I said to my husband, you know, if I had succeeded last night, I wouldn't have been able to see this beautiful dolphin, and I wouldn't be able to enjoy these cupcakes that you picked up for me and I wouldn't have been able to cheer on the women walking for a cure for cancer...and seeing them in their silly hats and tutus. " I now look for one thing a day to keep me going no matter how small, it could be a good cup of coffee or tea, a good book, the smell of the air after it rains, a good song, petting my cat, how ice cream tastes as it melts on my tongue, or how my fingers feel as I dip them in finger paints and run them over paper, I too have sleeping issues and stress from having seven deaths back to back and then trying to heal from my own trauma, it may not seem like it now but it will get better. if you need to talk shoot me a message in the inbox.
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  9. #19
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    May 2014
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    Re: Stress is horrendus

    Oh my PK, I had no idea.
    I for one am pleased you are here, you contribute to the world we live in and have a beautiful soul.
    I'm also very proud of you how you've coped with some very emotional times with loss and trauma.
    You are stronger than you think and there is a reason why you are here, living, experiencing.
    You know you can pm/dm me anytime xxx

  10. #20
    Join Date
    Mar 2018
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    Re: Stress is horrendus

    Thank you so much Carn for your kind words they mean a lot to me. Yes two years ago I attempted to take my life, the only thing that stopped me was my cat, Pepe, who was one of the seven deaths I had over the past year. sending you so many hugs.
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