You HAVE to be merry at Christmas.

[gauss101]

After retiring, a couple of years ago, I thought, great, no more work, no more pressure and "Just piss off" seems a perfectly acceptable response to any question now. To be fair, most of the time it's been good with the occasional wobble. But Christmas for the last couple of years has been torture. I seem to have this dread of the season and no escape. Everytime you put on the tele or go to the supermarket after October it''s just a barrage of "Christmas is coming, you must have a great time, you WILL enjoy every minute and to make sure we're going to fill every ad break, television program and every bloody song you hear festive until you give in."
For two weeks prior to the season to be "jolly" I'm in a state of panic and have no idea why. Of course, then I feel guilty because my wife knows I feel this way, although I fight it, and the poor woman can't have the Christmas she deserves. I know I don't have to buy into all of it and, stupidly, once the day arrives it never is as bad as I anticipate. (ain't it always the way,) but I do feel alone because of it and one of the few times I wished I was a Jehovah's Witness.My wife is very understanding as she also has panic attacks and anxiety but she deserves better.
Am I really alone in this and any advice would be gratefully received.
On the plus side, I'm in my late 60's, still alive and kicking, achieved some things that the average person would run a mile from and I'm sure that has only happened because of the strength I've gained from this disorder. Bless you all and I really do hope you're having a good time.

[Lencoboy]

I agree with you that Christmas can be rather tedious on occasions, and for me personally the festive season died in 1994 when I was 17 (due to various factors I have already mentioned in other threads), though the main one was obviously (and for better or worse) the fact that I was no longer a child by then, and the at times melancholy 'end of an era' feeling, though I kind of felt similar 'end of an era' emotions around the age of 11 1/2 too, which was my transitional period from true childhood into adolescence, though that didn't really affect enjoyment of Christmas for me at the time.

Nevertheless, the festive season is now pretty much over and done with for another year, but next we will be bombarded with the constant ads on the TV, online, etc for holidays abroad and the like, especially the Jet2Holidays ads with pop singer Jess Glynne singing in a high pitched whiny tone that really does my nut in!

And of course such ads can be a typical 'break the bank' trap for the gullible 'keep up with the Joneses' brigade to fall into, especially at a time when many are still otherwise affected by the COL crisis and harping on about being skint!

[gauss101]

Hi,
Thanks for replying. Seems like just you and me then. Like you I've had a few crap Christmases and I'm sure that don't help but it's just that bloody foreboding feeling before it. all. Like you say, we're through it for another year and, hopefully, it won't be so bad next year. I'll have to detach myself from all the hype and remember it's just another day.
Take care of yourself and have a good new year. ;o))

[Lencoboy]

Hi,
Thanks for replying. Seems like just you and me then. Like you I've had a few crap Christmases and I'm sure that don't help but it's just that bloody foreboding feeling before it. all. Like you say, we're through it for another year and, hopefully, it won't be so bad next year. I'll have to detach myself from all the hype and remember it's just another day.
Take care of yourself and have a good new year. ;o))

You too, Gauss.

I think part of the issue with us both is the 'been there, done that, seen it all before' syndrome.

And not only the festive season but many other things in life that used to give us more pleasure when we were younger but now seem more like tedious borefests.

I think it's also down to the fact that when we're younger, whether during childhood, adolescence or even very early adulthood, we're experiencing many things for the first time ever, and of course many of us when we're those ages usually tend to be more carefree, naive, and have fewer responsibilities (at least prior to early adulthood).

Let's face it, I felt really excited about going on my first ever holiday abroad via air travel during the Whit week in May 1997 (which was to Ibiza) and while I enjoyed said holiday at the time, I would now find such things tedious and boring. Added to all that a lot of the lengthy rigmaroles and procedures we have to go through at airports and the like nowadays, which not only can be tedious in their own right, but can also feel quite intimidating at times, even though they're generally only in the best of interests of security and the like, especially in the post-9/11 world.

I think I'm just a boring old git now with diminishing enthusiasm for a lot of things, despite still only being 46 years old.

[Darksky]

You are not alone feeling this way.
Next year or maybe even now, have a read of the thread ‘Christmas and new year survival group’. It’s been going for years. It’s under the general anxiety section.

You’ll find a lot of people struggle with Christmas.

[Lencoboy]

You are not alone feeling this way.
Next year or maybe even now, have a read of the thread ‘Christmas and new year survival group’. It’s been going for years. It’s under the general anxiety section.

You’ll find a lot of people struggle with Christmas.

I don't think it's just Christmas a lot of people struggle with; it's lots of other things too, especially as it seems many things seem to have to be so 'in-yer-face' nowadays, particularly in order to attract instant attention and at a time when many people's attention spans are already increasingly up the creek.

Little wonder so many people are struggling with sensory overload and MH issues in general.

[gauss101]

Thankyou Darksky that's really helpful. Nice to know you're not on your own.
I don't mind getting older and don't feel particularly jaded with anything. I have reached a time in my life where I can understand why Elvis shot so many televisions but lacking a gun I just swear at the planks that are on there and accept I'm a grumpy old git. Being newly retired I thought that sensory over load would be a thing of the past but it's unavoidable I suppose. Like everyone else on here I'm hoping that "they" come up with a silver bullet for anxiety so I can enjoy my time as I should by telling people, for no reason at all, "I'm 83 you know." and standing at a cash point for 20 minutes pretending I've forgotten my pin number.

[golovac]

Hey there, First off, it's okay not to feel merry during Christmas, despite what the constant barrage of holiday cheer might suggest. It's a common misconception that everyone must be in high spirits during the festive season. But the reality is, that many people experience stress, anxiety, or simply don't enjoy the festivities for various reasons. It's important to remember you're not alone in feeling this way. The pressure to enjoy every moment of the holiday season can be overwhelming, leading to anxiety and a sense of isolation for those who don't share the same enthusiasm. Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to not conform to the traditional view of Christmas cheer. It's great to hear that your wife understands your feelings. Open communication about your emotions can help in navigating these feelings together. I felt great on Christmas when my wife was happy with her neckless present form https://onemodiamond.co.uk Perhaps you can find alternative ways to spend the holiday that are more comfortable for you both. Remember, it's okay to take a step back from the holiday frenzy and focus on what truly makes you happy. Christmas is just one day of the year, and it doesn't have to define your well-being. Take care, and I hope you find peace and comfort in your own way during the holiday season. Best wishes,

[Lencoboy]

Hey there, First off, it's okay not to feel merry during Christmas, despite what the constant barrage of holiday cheer might suggest. It's a common misconception that everyone must be in high spirits during the festive season. But the reality is, that many people experience stress, anxiety, or simply don't enjoy the festivities for various reasons. It's important to remember you're not alone in feeling this way. The pressure to enjoy every moment of the holiday season can be overwhelming, leading to anxiety and a sense of isolation for those who don't share the same enthusiasm. Your feelings are valid, and it's okay to not conform to the traditional view of Christmas cheer. It's great to hear that your wife understands your feelings. Open communication about your emotions can help in navigating these feelings together. Perhaps you can find alternative ways to spend the holiday that are more comfortable for you both. Remember, it's okay to take a step back from the holiday frenzy and focus on what truly makes you happy. Christmas is just one day of the year, and it doesn't have to define your well-being. Take care, and I hope you find peace and comfort in your own way during the holiday season. Best wishes,

Nail on the head.

Same for going on actual holidays (vacations) any time of the year, day trips, and attending various other 'leisurely' events, which can be stressful and nerve-wracking for many, including myself on occasions.

But at least Christmas is now over and we don't have to worry about it again until much later this year.