I'm so angry with the PDSA

[WiredIncorrectly]

I had an appointment today at 3.15. I've been dreading this appointment, but the boy needs some antibiotics for his ear.

I got there dead on time. I had to catch 2 busses, and one was delayed, but I still managed to get there on time.

I was waiting in the queue to check-in. There was a lady in front of me getting some medications. It took about 10 minutes before I was seen.

When I was seen the lady looked at the time and said "But you're 10 minutes late. We work to schedule. You must be on time". I informed her I was on time, and I've been waiting in line to be seen. I could sense she was annoyed with me.

She started telling me how times are important the vet is on a tight schedule. Understandable, but I wasn't late. I was on time.

The vet refused to see me.

Livid was an understatement. Immediately my anger went from 0 to 100mph. I explained how difficult the journey was, how I don't get on busses and it was a struggle to make this appointment with how I'm feeling. But that got ignored. She repeated "You'll have to rebook an appointment I'm afraid". And I heard her mutter "Get the bus earlier then".

I said forget it, and stormed out.

I'm still angry. I ended up buying a small bottle of vodka. I haven't drank since the 23rd but the stress of today has been horrendous.

I plucked up all my courage to make this appointment today. I got lost at one point. Got on a wrong bus and ended up far. But, I left at 12pm just to make sure I had plenty of time.

I'd have called, but there's 2 problems. I don't have a phone. I threw it up the wall last week. So I couldn't contact them to say I might be late (which I wasn't anyway, I must specify that). Even if I had a phone, it's useless because you can't just call up the center. It's a main answerphone, that redirects you to an email address, or the online pet form.

I don't want to leave the house anymore. Every time I do something bad happens. I plan meticulously. I worry for a week before any appointment. It stresses me out. To then get there, and be turned away for absolutely no justified reason.

Face it, I can't do anything for myself. I can just about live alone and most days I don't eat. My health anxiety is skyrocketing. I'm convinced a lump on inside of my cheek is Cancer. I was convinced my flu/covid was heart failure. I know I'm going down fast. It's crash and burn time.

I can't handle life. Even the simplest things are a huge challenge and always end up in frustration and meltdowns. I thought I was going to kill somebody while I was on route back home. The rage was real. Some kids at the bus stop were winding up the dog. I almost said something, but in the end I walked to the next bus stop to avoid any issues.

I was crossing roads in anger because I didn't want to wait for the cars. Forcing cars to slow down and beep at me. I gave them the finger. And now I look back thinking "Dude, you could have killed yourself and your dog". I'm so irrational at the time, I don't even think about the negatives. It's just "**** you, if you've got a problem jump out your car and we'll solve it".

You're probably thinking I'm a right ****. I absolutely am in those moments. The rest of the time I'm the complete opposite.

So what gives? Why does my head get so irrational and angry over things that it shouldn't? I'm worried.

I told my psychiatrist that I'm scared one day I will do something violent. I feel it in my head. I feel it's not normal. Today I could have easily threw a bin or a chair across the counter. So easily. That's why I stormed out. And I was tempted to get a brick and smash their windows. But I just kept walking away.

Do you know how much of an effort it is to avoid doing something drastic like that?

I don't want to hurt anybody. I don't want to scare anybody. I don't want to be that dickhead. But for some reason, my head gets like this and I struggle to control it.

More of a rant than anything, but I always appreciate some words of wisdom.

For now, I'm going avoid people altogether. I will have to arrange for my brother to take the dog for the vet. I'll save my benefits and take him private it's easier. I don't want handouts off the system any more than I have to. Already feel like a waste of space bum.

</rant>

[BlueIris]

Sending love, James. You shouldn't be so harsh on yourself. Message me if I can help at all.

[Miu medical billing]

Hello do not worry dear please don't isolate, contact your psychiatrist immediately. Your safety matters, getting help is strength, not weakness. Best wishes

[Lencoboy]

I had an appointment today at 3.15. I've been dreading this appointment, but the boy needs some antibiotics for his ear.

I got there dead on time. I had to catch 2 busses, and one was delayed, but I still managed to get there on time.

I was waiting in the queue to check-in. There was a lady in front of me getting some medications. It took about 10 minutes before I was seen.

When I was seen the lady looked at the time and said "But you're 10 minutes late. We work to schedule. You must be on time". I informed her I was on time, and I've been waiting in line to be seen. I could sense she was annoyed with me.

She started telling me how times are important the vet is on a tight schedule. Understandable, but I wasn't late. I was on time.

The vet refused to see me.

Livid was an understatement. Immediately my anger went from 0 to 100mph. I explained how difficult the journey was, how I don't get on busses and it was a struggle to make this appointment with how I'm feeling. But that got ignored. She repeated "You'll have to rebook an appointment I'm afraid". And I heard her mutter "Get the bus earlier then".

I said forget it, and stormed out.

I'm still angry. I ended up buying a small bottle of vodka. I haven't drank since the 23rd but the stress of today has been horrendous.

I plucked up all my courage to make this appointment today. I got lost at one point. Got on a wrong bus and ended up far. But, I left at 12pm just to make sure I had plenty of time.

I'd have called, but there's 2 problems. I don't have a phone. I threw it up the wall last week. So I couldn't contact them to say I might be late (which I wasn't anyway, I must specify that). Even if I had a phone, it's useless because you can't just call up the center. It's a main answerphone, that redirects you to an email address, or the online pet form.

I don't want to leave the house anymore. Every time I do something bad happens. I plan meticulously. I worry for a week before any appointment. It stresses me out. To then get there, and be turned away for absolutely no justified reason.

Face it, I can't do anything for myself. I can just about live alone and most days I don't eat. My health anxiety is skyrocketing. I'm convinced a lump on inside of my cheek is Cancer. I was convinced my flu/covid was heart failure. I know I'm going down fast. It's crash and burn time.

I can't handle life. Even the simplest things are a huge challenge and always end up in frustration and meltdowns. I thought I was going to kill somebody while I was on route back home. The rage was real. Some kids at the bus stop were winding up the dog. I almost said something, but in the end I walked to the next bus stop to avoid any issues.

I was crossing roads in anger because I didn't want to wait for the cars. Forcing cars to slow down and beep at me. I gave them the finger. And now I look back thinking "Dude, you could have killed yourself and your dog". I'm so irrational at the time, I don't even think about the negatives. It's just "**** you, if you've got a problem jump out your car and we'll solve it".

You're probably thinking I'm a right ****. I absolutely am in those moments. The rest of the time I'm the complete opposite.

So what gives? Why does my head get so irrational and angry over things that it shouldn't? I'm worried.

I told my psychiatrist that I'm scared one day I will do something violent. I feel it in my head. I feel it's not normal. Today I could have easily threw a bin or a chair across the counter. So easily. That's why I stormed out. And I was tempted to get a brick and smash their windows. But I just kept walking away.

Do you know how much of an effort it is to avoid doing something drastic like that?

I don't want to hurt anybody. I don't want to scare anybody. I don't want to be that dickhead. But for some reason, my head gets like this and I struggle to control it.

More of a rant than anything, but I always appreciate some words of wisdom.

For now, I'm going avoid people altogether. I will have to arrange for my brother to take the dog for the vet. I'll save my benefits and take him private it's easier. I don't want handouts off the system any more than I have to. Already feel like a waste of space bum.

</rant>

I've felt like that on several occasions throughout my lifetime. In fact, the other day when I was feeling really depressed myself I was having irrational fantasies about smashing up one of our local pubs; chairs and stools being chucked over the bar, me threatening drunks in there and challenging them to fights by screaming 'sl@gs' at them and a mass punch-up ensuing!

Just like that scene in an episode of 'Minder' in the early 80s where that violent nutjob smashed up the Winchester Club in a hysterical fit of brutal rage, screaming 'Where is that sl@g, Daley?'!

But I thought to myself 'That's not me', 'That's not the nature of said pub', and 'what about all those terrified innocent punters having a quiet drink or meal suddenly getting caught up in all the chaos who might end up traumatised by it all, like I probably would be had I got caught up in or witnessed such incidents'?

Don't get me wrong; I would never actually consider doing such crazy things like trashing pubs (or anywhere/anything) and causing a breach of the peace, especially as it's blindingly obvious what the consequences would be.

My dad also believes that mass pub punch-ups and disturbances are fewer and far between nowadays compared to the late 70s, and throughout the 80s and 90s when he thought such incidents were at their most prevalent, at least in our neck of the woods.

Hope your dog gets better soon though, and sounds like an unfortunate misunderstanding by the staff at the vet's.

[Lencoboy]

I've thought further about your ordeal overnight and come up with a couple of possible reasons for the 'blunder'.

Sometimes, which often seems to be a case of Murphy's Law, there can be certain 'emergency' cases that take precedence over advance appointments, be it vets, dentists, doctors, hospitals, you name them, and yes it can be an extreme disappointment in such instances; that is one's appointment being cancelled and the client/patient being turned away at the very last moment, especially if having travelled a considerable distance for a given appointment.

But on the face of it, what you went through yesterday sounds like a consequence of shoddy management at that particular branch of the PDSA.

Funny how a lot of places display warning notices bearing words such as 'zero tolerance', 'we will not tolerate abuse', etc, but on occasions (while I don't normally condone abuse towards staff in places in any way) it does seem that certain staff members in many of these places are effectively asking for it, especially those who are chronically high and mighty, so up themselves, and/or lazy, plus sometimes even have a habit of lying to customers/clients/patients, in which the latter sounds like the case from that particular staff member at the PDSA who wrongly accused you of being late.

I don't intend to tar everyone who works in many professions dealing with the general public with the same brush, but unfortunately there will always be the odd seemingly untouchable 'bad apples', who are sadly capable of tainting the reputation of an entire organisation.