It's interesting.....

[Fishmanpa]

I've been on this forum for over 10 years. I've responded to many thousands of replies and threads and created a few myself. Recently, I've been accused of mocking others and told I shouldn't even be on this site. That's Ok. Your opinion is your opinion. Having a daughter that suffers from extreme anxiety and depression, this site has helped me in helping her as I've gained a better understanding of how the anxious mind works.

As for myself? I've been diagnosed, and is noted in my medical records, with depression and GAD. I've taken meds and been to therapy. Granted, my experience certainly not as extreme as I've seen here but nonetheless, I get it.

As an example, around 2 1/2 weeks ago I was sitting on the sofa after work talking with my wife and I reached across myself with my right arm to grab the drink to the left of me. No different a movement we do a hundred times a week to scratch an itch or pick something up. You know, a totally normal movement and motion. But this time? It felt like someone had put a glowing red hot poker into my ribs midway on the right side. I'm talking 10 out of 10 yelling out in pain. It lasted around 5-10 seconds then faded. Since then, that spot has been sore and very sensitive. It feels like a slight burning and is sore to the touch. With my history of cancer, I have to say, it had me uneasy. There have been no other symptoms but I've not experienced anything like this before. Believe me when I tell you, I have a multitude of physical symptoms from the real medical issues I've faced. That's why I can confidently debunk the dragon when I see him. That said, for me this time, the dragon got the better of me. After 2 1/2 weeks I called the doctor and got an appointment today. I went in, explained everything and the doctor examined me thoroughly. He believes, based on the examination that for whatever reason, the incident of reaching irritated the muscle lining of my rib cage. I expressed some doubt in that why would something I do on a regular basis cause an issue now and he shrugged and basically said, 'things happen, especially as we grow older'. He prescribed some lidocaine patches, said to use OTC muscle pain creams and to call back if the pain and discomfort doesn't ease in a month.

I left with a huge sense of relief. I feel kind of silly actually as I was creating worries I didn't have to create. Again, I don't suffer to the degree I see many here suffering from but even so, we all have things that stress us out and cause undue anxiety into our lives. I have so much going on in my life. Work, growing older, planning on retirement and the financial aspects. The inevitable and legalities of that etc. Not pleasant things to deal with but necessary. It's all about focus and a positive attitude to overcome that.

I guess the point of posting this is in a way a defense of myself for being accused of the things I've been accused of. I know I'm blunt and I have no apologies to make for that. The things I say publicly are the same things I tell myself and the dragon that breathes fire down my neck. We all have our dragons, and they are as different and unique as any human being, anxiety or not. It's obviously not for everyone but what I iterate here is how I handle mine and it works for me and has helped others.

Most times, calling out the dragon's BS is what's needed to shut him up!

FMP

[BlueIris]

Glad you got this resolved, FMP.

I'm fighting my own hungry dragon right now, and he's so sneaky in the ways he gets me to feed him. You're right, it gets tougher as we get older and all those problems that were once a million miles away start gradually getting less and less remote.

For what it's worth, I go through phases where relatively tiny movements can lead to searing cramps in my ribcage that literally stop me breathing for a few seconds. Because I don't have your personal history I've always been able to dismiss them as a muscular thing and a (very) painful nuisance, the result of an old injury on that side. I know you weren't asking for reassurance and this isn't snark, but occasionally it's okay to calm the dragon by stroking it and telling it to go back to sleep.

[Carnation]

I do as well. It frightened the hell out of me the first time in happened and all I did was reach out for something. It almost felt like something had popped out or I'd been cut with a knife. But a severe cramp pain is a good description. I've had it a few times actually.

I too am glad you resolved this worry FMP.
There's nothing worse than not knowing what something is. Especially if there isn't anything in particular to explain it.

I am one of those people that asked you to stay off of my thread because I felt like you questioning my reason for still hanging around on the forum. I hope this has been resolved now after our message to each other.
You are a valued member on here and I'd like to think I am too. We've both been around about the same amount of time and we both try to help others, albeit in a different way. Although sometimes we both come to the same conclusion with some posters.
You are welcome on the forum as anyone is and I know you have your own situation with health matters.
Sometimes we need to make a post about the way we feel and you have explained that in this thread.
Whatever our opinions, life is precious and we shouldn't lose sight of that. And I love to read your positive thread.

[.Poppy.]

Glad everything was okay, FMP.

I think it can be especially hard to defeat the dragon when it's something you know could be a real issue; the problem then is that our anxiety minds love to tell us that everything is a real threat.

I can usually talk myself down when I just have random waves of anxiety/panic. But when it's more tangible it's a lot harder. I've been struggling with career stress lately and worrying about finances - that's a real concern so when I get panicky about those kinds of things it's a lot more challenging to calm myself down. Health stuff is trickier because like you said, sometimes it's obviously something we've experienced before and know is benign, but sometimes it can be worrying and we have to stop ourselves from sliding down that slope.

[jojo2316]

FMP- you are the very best of this forum. You have taken the time to reply to people when they are rock bottom. Your words have been an anchor to me when i am flying off into some horrible dark tunnel. Sometimes you mock, a little, maybe, but sometimes we need it.

I am so glad you are doing ok. How is your little dog btw?

[Fishmanpa]

FMP- you are the very best of this forum. You have taken the time to reply to people when they are rock bottom. Your words have been an anchor to me when i am flying off into some horrible dark tunnel. Sometimes you mock, a little, maybe, but sometimes we need it.

I am so glad you are doing ok. How is your little dog btw?

Thanks for that and the other replies

As for the 'little' dog? Tasha turned 3yo Christmas day. A 55lb big baby

Now.jpg


FMP

[Phill2]

Hi FMP
I've always found your posts very informative and helpful
Dunno how anyone can have a problem with them.
BTW my "baby" Shepherd just turned 4 and weighs 57 KG

[Fishmanpa]

Hi FMP
I've always found your posts very informative and helpful
Dunno how anyone can have a problem with them.
BTW my "baby" Shepherd just turned 4 and weighs 57 KG

Dang! That's a big doggie! Our girl is from a shepherd rescue in our area. Her mom was mostly shepherd and we don't know about dad. Her DNA test basically said she's a super mutt.. She has 27 breeds in her DNA, I truly appreciate your kind words

FMP

[WiredIncorrectly]

FMP you are one of my favorite forum members. You are compassionate, and brutally honest. When it comes to anxiety and mental health problems, you need that brutal honesty.

I don't know what happened, but we've all had little bits of bickering over the years. This forum wouldn't be the same without you FMP.

I've noticed the forum has slowed down a little. I don't know if that has anything to do with FB groups, Discords, Reddit and now ChatGPT. But this place is a lifeline for me. I would struggle without this forum. It's become a part of my life, and the people here are my friends who I care for and think about often.

Continue to be you FMP. We love you because of who you are.

God bless you.

[jojo2316]

Its a lifeline for me too. And i dont say that lightly.