Today I went to the shopping complex with my family and enjoyed it. We ate at a restaurant and then I walked around the mall on my own, spending loads of money on a television magazine and a can of Red Bull from the newsagents, a storage thing and post-it notes from WHsmith, carmex from Boots, CD's (Sonic Youth, Pixies and the Smiths) from HMV, and NES pacman from Cex. I went outside for a cigarette just because I felt like it. On the drive home my mother commented on how my breathing sounded weird. An hour or so later I asked my brother for his opinion on my breathing and he still thought it sounded loud and heavy. I began panicking, so I called 111 and spoke to someone about my symptoms. I was experiencing shortness of breath, heavy breathing, chest pain, upper back pain, lightheadedness, derealization, neck pain, hand pain, and weird pins and needles sensation in my right leg. I went outside and got the bus elsewhere because I wanted to go to hospital, but unintentionally got the wrong bus. I remember crying hysterically and I was so confused. My mother picked me up and took me home. Eventually I calmed down but now I can't stop thinking about my breathing. I panic that I am accidentally eating the pits of peaches which may contain cyanide. Every time I go to sleep at night I worry that I will die in my sleep and not wake up. I just feel so ashamed of myself and I feel like a coward for panicking over things that won't end my life in the short-term, such as cigarettes and energy drinks.
I know this sounds stupid but is it normal for your breathing to get louder and heavier and to be short of breath after smoking anything, be it a cigarette, a joint, a vape, anything smokeable? Were my symptoms typical of a panic attack and nothing to worry about?
I speak to therapists about my panic attacks and about my social anxiety but it never helps. Ages ago I was prescribed olanzapine for calorie-related anxiety caused by my eating disorder, and it made that particular anxiety go away, but it definitely does not help any other kind of anxiety in the slightest. Which medication do you think would be more apt? Olanzapine isn't even supposed to be an anti-anxiety medication, it's an antipsychotic.
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