Can’t get past this anxiety

[MLK1958]

I posted a while back because I had been havin lapses of memory and tip of the tongue moments. I have had an awful few months and am just so stressed I can’t relax. I started to google - stupid I know - because I am hungry more than usual and it said excess cortisol caused by stress makes you hungry. I also have dread feeling in the morning, puns and needles, pounding heart etc. anyway I learnt yesterday that one of my dearest friends has died and I can’t stop crying. I’m worried I’m damaging myself because this is just too much on top of the anxiety I already had. Will I ever feel ok again? I am worrying I’m giving myself high blood pressure and just feel awful. Please someone help.

[BlueEeyes]

I posted a while back because I had been havin lapses of memory and tip of the tongue moments. I have had an awful few months and am just so stressed I can’t relax. I started to google - stupid I know - because I am hungry more than usual and it said excess cortisol caused by stress makes you hungry. I also have dread feeling in the morning, puns and needles, pounding heart etc. anyway I learnt yesterday that one of my dearest friends has died and I can’t stop crying. I’m worried I’m damaging myself because this is just too much on top of the anxiety I already had. Will I ever feel ok again? I am worrying I’m giving myself high blood pressure and just feel awful. Please someone help.

Hi MLK I'm sorry you're feeling anxious and rough at the moment I 100% understand, I have HA too and I'm not doing so great myself, I've had bouts of it on and off for over 20 years.

I also have issues with my memory and the tip of the tongue thing too! I have done for years, I feel it's a mixture of things firstly anxiety/stress but also meds I take for HA.
The issue is that everyone has memory issues to some extent but as HA sufferers we tend to notice these things more as they are uncomfortable and frustrating, we then subconsciously think of it when say in a conversation which then results in us losing our train if thought. When we are really stressed and/or anxious our bodies don't want food because we are in fight or flight mode so when we calm a little we become hungry. All of your morning symptoms are very typical of anxiety I also get them. It's understandable that you are upset about your dear friend passing. You would be surprised how strong your body/mind is! Obviously it's not great to remain stressed for long periods of time but you will get through this, this will pass and your mind and body will get the break it needs, even if you did have high blood pressure it will likely come down once you feel more calm, I too worried about this in the past and my blood pressure doesn't always go up when I'm unwell mentally, even if it did I know it will come down eventually and if it didn't then there is medication if needed.
If you haven't already maybe go to your GP to get some medication? Also ask for some therapy like CBT or counselling ect....
It's important to try and stay in the here and now, try not to focus on the future, be kind to yourself and allow yourself to heal (which you will)

Sending huge healing hugs your way

[MLK1958]

Thank you for your kind reply. The strange thing it, my feelings of grief over the last few weeks did something - they took away my tip of the tongue moments. At least that's the way it seems. I think my sadness has been so much that in some weird way I could accept that much of what I was experiencing was because of anxiety. However, some of the anxiety is still there. I have had so much stress that this death of my friend has hit me hard. I feel totally exhausted and I'm not sleeping well. I know that the anxiety and worrying about anxiety is just kind of simmering away there, at a higher level than when I was feeling OK last autumn. So here I am with my latest worry. Today I went through some things of my friend's, then I decided I would do some push ups and squats because I haven't done any actual exercise for ages, except my 10K steps a day. Bad idea. Anyway about an hour afterwards I felt totally exhausted. I don't know if it was stress because of dealing with my friend's things, or anxiety, or (what is in my mind) maybe I have a heart condition making me this tired. Please can someone help again - and tell me it's not my heart. It's anxiety, stress, tiredness, and lack of sleep and grief? I wish I felt better. Thank you anyone who answers. Sorry to sound so pathetic.