Carnation’s New Thread - Anxiety, setbacks and tips

[Carnation]

I’ve started a new thread.

After 7 years, my old thread has lost it’s way from its original purpose.

I ask any posters to be sensitive with posting any serious health matters, keep it friendly and helpful and share anything that might be of help to all those that struggle with anxiety.

just recently I have found Holding the thumb a great calming tool when feeling panicky. It might be why babies suck their thumbs. Anxiety can be very debilitating and it’s all very well acting normal, and it is acting most of the time but sometimes well need a bit of extra help in getting through the day.

’Live as if you are already healed’ - this attitude helps tremendously.

’Its not what happens to you, it’s how you deal with it ‘
Anxiety tends to promote overthinking, fuelling negative thoughts, causing bodily symptoms.
Its all about living in the moment, not catastrophising, keeping reality, telling the mind ‘you’ve got this’.

I will end this post by recommending ‘Claire Weekes’ as a good reference guide to recovering.

[BlueIris]

Living as if you are already healed is a great idea; it requires a bit of bravery but I think it's probably the most effective strategy I've encountered. Example: I postponed an afternoon out a few times because I was afraid of what would happen if I got scary sensations and panicked. My husband was starting to get annoyed and I was feeling guilty, so last weekend we just did it. Nothing awful happened when we took an alternative route to the restaurant that involved going up a steep hill, and I didn't die in the cinema because the film was longer than an hour and a half. It was fun!

It can be hard when you're in the depths, but faking it til you make it works so well; instead of convincing your brain that everything is scary and dangerous, you're showing it that everything is okay and even fun.

Oh, and Carnation? Thanks for all the help these past few months.

[YoullNeverWalkAlone]

Hi Carnation and Blue....

I agree with the Claire Weeks books and would highly recommend them to anyone suffering any kinda anxiety, she covers them all...

im having a set back at the moment, so out come her books again to try and get me on the right path again, like you said Carnation about catastrophising every little ache, pain sensation etc I’m my own worst enemy for doing that.

Blue Well done on going out, I know that fear well and I know how hard it is to push on through it but sometimes you surprise yourself just what you can do, but you have to know your limits, if it’s a really bad day then maybe sometimes it’s best to rest for a bit, talk to someone who understands, get their reassurance and a different view point and then bite the bullet and get out there....

I came across a site many years ago, you may have heard of it....Anxiety centre.com/symptoms and oh my the list of symptoms is huge, also the guy that runs it, tells his 12 year battle with anxiety, you’ll find that if you look for Jim Folk Story...it’s a bit like Nicola’s story on here....

I found it very interesting and helpful when I’m going through a bad time and when you keep thinking to yourself this symptom can’t be anxiety....well yes it can, you’d be surprised...

This Guy had a huge struggle, but as overcome it and reading through it I can see a lot of Claire Weekes training which goes to show how well ahead of her time she was....

I hope this helps xxx

[Carnation]

You are so welcome BlueIris x

I know exactly what you mean...
When you think the event or trip might trigger you and putting off or cancelling. Pre - anxiety is the worst.
Something that's new, out of the way, being out longer, the thought of possible embarrassment of having a reaction.
And the strange thing is, with all those thoughts and fear, nothing ever happens. You might still have the residue of the pre anxiety, but it does wear off. And sometimes you actually have a good time. If only it wasn't for that pre-anxiety stuff.
I read that visualisation is good for this. By closing your eyes and imagining you are actually doing it with ease actually helps. I suppose if we can imagine a fuelled anxiety situation then we can also imagine an un-fuelled anxiety situation.
Our partners can be so patient but they sometimes get that 'oh, come on' attitude. I have to admit that sometimes gets me going. Like you say BlueIris, you feel a bit guilty.
Oh, the times I haven't wanted to do stuff and actually enjoyed it. I then think 'why on earth did I get myself in to such a tizz?'.

[Carnation]

YNWA,

Claire Weekes is like the Godmother of Anxiety knowledge and understanding. If you only read one book, it's got to be hers.

Setbacks come. Claire Weekes covers this.
I think understanding why and letting that phase pass is the only way forward. I know it's frustrating when you've made such progress but it's a bit like a boiling kettle, if it doesn't switch off, it's eventually going to boil over.
Nothing to be scared about, just uncomfortable for a while. You've been there before and survived it and you'll do it again. x

It never surprises me how many symptoms Anxiety can produce. And the weird thing is, we are actually producing them. I had a list of about 30+ symptoms which were all foreign to me when I first approached my doctor with 'what's wrong with me? ". Scared like a rabbit in the headlights. Straight away she said " Anxiety ". I couldn't believe that Anxiety could do all of those things to me and how powerful it was. I went on the Internet and found this forum and there it was in black and white, other people feeling exactly the same as me. I felt relief because I wasn't going mad after all.

Thanks for the link YNWA. I like to read other people's stories. There's a few on this Site too if anyone is interested.

I loved Ruby Wax's idea of the frazzled cafe meet.
I expect when I go out there are others like myself but its not plain to see. We all do a good job of faking how we feel in public. It's nothing to be ashamed of, we are sensitive people that feel everything and that makes us very empathetic which is special. x

[Darksky]

I think that’s a very good concept….Living life like you’re already healed. Live it like other people. Just do it. I have a Nike T Shirt that has that logo on it. I like to wear it as inspiration. The more you ruminate and think about doing stuff the more you end up not doing it. Overthinking and worrying, which really serve no purpose whatsoever. Just do it.

[JulieJay92]

100% agree about claire weeks books, helped me out enormously when at my worst . i did give them to charity years later but ended up buying them again to help me when i can feel them starting again x

[Carnation]

I like the idea of a slogan T shirt darksky, being the right wording of course. I've got a top that says 'sunny days ahead' and I get so many compliments when I wear it.
Do you remember the 'RELAX' t. Shirts in the 80s, cut out sleeves, black and white? There were lots of slogan t shirts around but not so many now. Nike must sell a lot of their t shirts with 'Just Do it', a clever move by them.

[Carnation]

Juliejay, you can't part with a Claire Weekes book, it's like an anxiety sufferers Bible. Great you got them back again.

[ErinKC]

I also love Claire Weeks!

And I like the mantra of living like you're already healed. I do this when trying to expand my physical activities. I've had physical set backs and sometimes feel like my body is broken. One thing that helps tremendously is just pushing myself a bit and seeing that I'm fine. This works just the same for the mind!

Another thing I've been working on lately is reversing my thinking. The anxious mind has such a super power to see the future (or at least we think it does!) and imagine every possible outcome. Instead of doing that, I've been consciously working on using my brains incredible power to consider every possible scenario to look backward and find all the times I've felt exactly this way and the fact that it was never something serious. It's like reverse catastrophizing... decatastrophizing.

With the bar exam coming up I'm in full on panic mode about every single thing that could go wrong between now and then, so I've really been working on this one!

For your entertainment, the most deranged "what if" I had recently came the other night when I was finally bringing down what my husband affectionately calls my "mug garden." That is - the wide collection of half-drank mugs of coffee and tea I leave all over the second floor to grow new ecosystems of mold before I finally crack and bring them all down. This garden was particularly bad since I've been so distracted lately. When I dumped out one particular mug, the irrational fear hit me that somehow the mold inside the mug would float up into the air, I'd breath it in, and then I'd get some wild lung infection that would stop me from taking the test (and then of course kill me). In the past, I would have started googling things about this and panicking. Instead, I sat down and replayed through my head how many times through my life I have carried moldy mugs through my house and dumped them in my sink... this house, every apartment I've ever lived in... I took my mind all the way back to my college dorm with my roommate who would relentlessly make snide (though utterly justified!) comments about the science experiments growing in my dishes. Never, in that decades-long history of being lazy and kind of gross did I ever contract a lung infection from breathing in the fruits of my mug gardens. So, I had a little laugh to myself, ran the dishwasher on sanitize mode, and called it a day.

And so, this is what I've been trying to do each time a new worry pops up. Palpitations? I've had 'em 1000s of time. Dizzy? What else is new?

For each thing, I don't just think - this has happened before, I actually take the time to visualize previous times, how I felt, and how I got through it. One day I'll probably come to a symptom I've never had before and - hey, in that case, I can do what a non-anxious person does and go to the doctor!