Mum

[MyNameIsTerry]

I know you want her home as soon as possible but this does sound a reasonable compromise until the care package is up and running effectively and reliably. She and your Dad have their privacy now and he'll be on hand and feel needed when he must have been feeling completely bereft and helpless on a busy ward?

I'm glad that she's got an appetite and is in relative good spirits. Let's hope that she'll be able to go home on Monday..Get some rest now if you can, Terry? You must be completely depleted both mentally and physically..quite understandably. xxx

Yes, the consultant said if we didn't feel we could manage at home they could do this. It was why we thought time was very short, otherwise a hospice would be needed, but its best we don't read too far into that since he may have discussed that next. So he must have told the nurses to get one anyway.

Its definitely helping dad, he has always felt guilty leaving her at night.

Yes, it has been catching up on me over the past week and to then be up 48hrs it has worn us all out.

She is drinking loads and asking for food so those are good signs. She slept well last night after a rough one the night before.

She has always been a battler.

[JulieJay92]

thinking of you terry, im pretty quiet on here now but if you ever need to talk im here, i work in a dementia care home and we also care for pallitive and end of life residents so i know only too well what you must be going through xx

[LadyVee]

I'm sorry about your mum Terry. I wanted to thank you also as you've been so helpful to so many people on here over the years.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hopefully mum is coming home tomorrow. It should have been today but the oxygen team said it wasn't needed so we have to speak to the consultant, the second one, who said no problem. The nurse testing for the oxygen team told us consultants can't do it so we had to push back.

She has has two good days where she seems happy, alert, drinking plenty and even choosing new foods. Today she is tired and off her food but later she may pick up.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I'm sorry about your mum Terry. I wanted to thank you also as you've been so helpful to so many people on here over the years.

Thanks for your kind words, LadyVee. I really appreciate you stopping by. Just glad if I helped anyone, there is always something to learn on here.

[MyNameIsTerry]

thinking of you terry, im pretty quiet on here now but if you ever need to talk im here, i work in a dementia care home and we also care for pallitive and end of life residents so i know only too well what you must be going through xx

Thanks JulieJay, I remember you were forever beating me in the arcade!

Thanks, I really appreciate the kind offer. You do a very hard job and must have a lot of important experience in dealing with these conditions. Thankfully many on the wards are familiar with the behaviours that just come with dementia. It has been a very difficult experience for us but I wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

[pulisa]

I sincerely hope she is able to come home tomorrow with everything in place that is needed. You don't need any more complications or hold ups but they seem to be part of the hospital discharge process sadly..

She will be so relieved to get home where she belongs and away from all the hassle and noise of a hospital ward. You are a very special son, Terry and I've no doubt that your mum will have the very best of care and love from you and your Dad. Try to get some rest tonight though...You must be shattered xx

[fishman65]

I echo what's been said here Terry. The politics in the hospital are hardly helpful in what is already a very taxing time for you. And everything said above is true about you. Your Mum and Dad are very lucky in having such a dedicated and caring son.

Keep posting here as and when you need to, we're listening. Take care mate.

[MyNameIsTerry]

Thanks pulisa and fishman, it's a challenging time. We may not have told her but she knows she is passing and asks. The last two days she has been chatty so there have been a few conversations about what she wants and how we support whatever she decides. It upsets dad but me and my brother are more able to tell her if she wants to pass we will be here.

Thank you again for all your kind wishes and support.

[swgrl09]

Hi Terry,

Been more of a lurker these days and in and out sporadically. But you were a very big support to me during a tough time in my life years back. I am so sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you and your family are doing an amazing job supporting your mother and giving her the reassurance and love she needs during this difficult time. Sending hugs across the atlantic.