Trying To Get By Day To Day While Living With Anxiety.

[Pkstracy]

Been having anxiety today off and on and just been crying a lot. I am not sure what is going on. One moment I would be fine the next moment just crying. I'm not sure if it's the grief still, or what is going on. I've been trying to keep busy, I just finished my 105th book read for the year, I read physical books. I'll have to add up how many pages total so far for the year. 39,877 pages

[NoraB]

What books do you like to read?

[Pkstracy]

Hi Nora so sorry I just logged in not having been on for awhile, I read just about anything other than military history I have everything from True Crime, to Young Adult, thrillers, fantasy, some romance but not a lot, mystery, horror.

I am done in emotionally and mentally, I was woken up at two am by a thud, I turn on my light wondering what the heck that was, I look over at my still fairly new bookcase and two of the shelves collapsed, I haven't the spoons or the energy today to deal with it, the IKEA Billy Bookcases used to be great, now post 2020 they suck and will fall or collapse if you sneeze around them, also doesn't help that we have been having high humidity here, and well humidity isn't good for those particle board made furniture. So I am going to have to figure out where to stack two bookcases full of books and tear them both down and have hubby haul them off to the outside dumpster and figure out another way to display some of my books other than stacking them on the floor, I already have loads stacked on the floor.

[Pkstracy]

I've been having anxiety again and heart anxiety. The last two days my heart rate has been 130 when walking from room to room. I know this is due to me needing to build up my stamina, and being inactive for years, due to grief and battling depression to where I don't want to get out of bed. I am also very overweight. I read on Medline that people who are inactive and haven't worked out in years will see a greater increase in heart rate when walking from room to room. I am not having any dizziness, or chest pain or anything like that. My max target heart rate is 168 when doing intense workouts, and my moderate target is 110-130 so I am actually hitting my moderate high end without even trying LOL, also to note my heart rate drops back to my normal resting heart rate which is 67-80 in a minute to less than a minute. So that shows that my heart is strong and healthy. I have been working on standing 1 minute a day to build up my leg muscles and get my body used to standing, I know 1 minute doesn't seem like much but it is when you have been sitting or laying down for the past three years and only up enough to go to the bathroom and back, or walk down the hallway to the living room to sit on the couch. I also realized that I am walking to the kitchen or living room and back without stopping like I normally do, I would walk down, sit for a moment then walk to back to my room, so my exercise has "increased" some. I hate having health anxiety I'm also doing the I have to pee every two hours thing again, dang hormones and anxiety and finally getting a bit more water in. I've also been doing some emotional inner child work and that's really threw me for a loop with my emotions.

[Scissel]

I'm sorry to hear this .. I'm sorry that I don't have advice but I read each and every word and I hope you will be able to get your stamina back.

[YoullNeverWalkAlone]

Hi PK...
Don't forget to add in the anxiety factor to your heart rate and that it's probably on your mind all the time, your probably fitter than you think, it's the anxiety trying to tell you you're not...
Your resting heart rate is excellent, which shows your heart is good...
I hope you start feeling better soon PK... anxiety really sucks xxx

[Pkstracy]

Scissel, thank you so much. YNWA, Yep that dang anxiety I keep telling myself that I just have to recondition my heart again to get used to working out, funny thing is I can stand for 1 minute and my heart rate goes to 90-95 but I start doing a lap around the kitchen and back to my room my heart rate jumps to 130, note to self you've barely walked in three years yeah your heart rate is going to jump you're also carrying around a lot of extra weight, you're fine, you're fine you're fine and safe.

[Pkstracy]

I've been struggling a lot lately. Anxiety, breaking myself down and trying to rebuild myself, by doing shadow work and inner child healing. Dealing with the situation with my mother in law and wondering if we are going to have to move in with her, tonight my husband is there for an overnight as his brother, who moved in with her, while still keeping his apartment, decided to take off to Vegas for a week to be with his long distance girlfriend leaving everyone else to pick up the slack, the others have been taking care of my mother in law 24/7 while trying to work and go to school, now my husband is over there from 6:30 am this morning until sometime tomorrow, I mentioned months ago that he and I should move in to care for her full time, but his brother wanted to, even though he has commitment issues when it comes to that sort of thing. I also learned that the person I used to babysit, passed away a few years ago, he was in his thirties. Then I wake up on Dec 22nd to news that an online friend of mine passed away in his sleep Sunday the 21st or Monday early morning the 22nd. He was found dead in his bed. He was a blogger that went by Adam The Woo. He was 51 and just such a great guy. I think I need to take more time off from everything. I finally got an article posted, I haven't had it in me to write.

[NoraB]

I've been having anxiety again and heart anxiety. The last two days my heart rate has been 130 when walking from room to room. I know this is due to me needing to build up my stamina, and being inactive for years, due to grief and battling depression to where I don't want to get out of bed. I am also very overweight. I read on Medline that people who are inactive and haven't worked out in years will see a greater increase in heart rate when walking from room to room. I am not having any dizziness, or chest pain or anything like that.

I experienced this when I had my breakdown due to severe anxiety. (I was about 7 and a half stone)

Just getting up from the loo would set my heart racing....

[Pkstracy]

Thanks Nora , mine is calmer now, also figuring it's due to hormones as well as my breakdown and anxiety.