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Thread: I'm in a really bad place and I've done something stupid

  1. #31
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    576

    Re: I'm in a really bad place and I've done something stupid

    Are you doing any better, James? Did your mouth heal up as expected? Are you able to eat (I struggle also) to get your protein. Beans maybe?! I read in the last page you struggle with nobody to talk to and I also am very isolated; but I prefer it that way because people are not honest anymore and you can't trust everyone. I have awful trust issues and never let people get very close like I used to. I understand you're not even 40 with dentures but this can be a good thing especially if they were causing you infection after infection ... now put them in a glass and forget em Lol :~). My late father could gum a steak and I don't know how he did it, but he did. I only have front teeth now and I might be in the same boat in the future but my dentist says everything is stable at the moment and I've learned to not bite into anything too hard.

    I know this place can be lonely and forums are so dead now compare to a few years back, but for me, I just can't bring myself to do X or Meta, if you do that is great.

    Anyways I hope you're getting back on track again.

    Sal

    EDIT: Sorry about the typos.....
    Last edited by Scissel; 01-10-24 at 23:50.

  2. #32
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    2,657

    Re: I'm in a really bad place and I've done something stupid

    I'm not great. I had another episode yesterday. Ended up cutting my wrists and taking 16 paracetamol. I was lucky I didn't have more.

    I don't know where to turn for help. I am already under the crisis team, but I'm not telling them about this because it will go back to home visits.

    I had to tell another friends (different one) to stop talking about money to me. He's a millionaire, and all he does all day is show me the money he's made and the things he buys. My ex called him and spoke with him because she knows him. She asked him nicely to stop gloating.

    This friend felt bad for me and sent me 2,000. I sent it back, and told him I don't need his charity. I would rather have his support as a friend. He means no malice, he's just happy and excited in life. But, I don't handle it well. Now he doesn't want to talk to me at the moment. Which is probably for the best anyway.

    All I want in life is some success. All the people I grew up with programming in the early 2000's are wealthy and have good lives. I'm the only one who is a broke bum with nothing to show for life.

    I can do what he does. I'd like to. But I can't focus for longer than 10 minutes. I've had this problem my whole life and I've pleaded with my doctor to look more into this because it's a huge hurdle in my life. I know that if this issue with attention is solved I will be able to work towards building something in life.

    I'm very low, because I'm not where I want to be. And I can't get the motivation or the drive to knuckle down and make something of myself. I don't know how to get there.

    Money is the route to all evil. I firmly believe this. I need to get back to my faith and pray. I'm so far away from God. I have become distracted by life chasing money because I am jeleous my friend made it and I didn't. That's the reality.

    I don't want to feel jeleous, or envy. Those are against my faith. They make you look like a fool when you act in this way.
    __________________
    The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.

    “I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned.” - Richard Feynman

    ☪️️

  3. #33
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Posts
    11,847

    Re: I'm in a really bad place and I've done something stupid

    It's very sad reading this post wired.
    Pleasd don't hesitate to contact the crisis team if you think your life is in danger. I can understand why you don't want to go down that road again but think of your boy and the people that love you.
    Who knows why some people get rich and others don't. I've worked hard all of my life and have less than someone who has floated through life on a whim.
    I can hear your disappointment and I think you need to dig deep with your faith. Build on some routine where you using your time to replenish your body and mind. Set some manageable tasks.
    You've been through a lot this year and through life. Positives can come, you are still very young, anything can happen.

  4. #34
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    2,657

    Re: I'm in a really bad place and I've done something stupid

    I'm in a better place. It's taken some hard work to get out of the hole, but I think I'm making progress.

    The community doctor suggested I start doing 30 minutes walk daily with the dog. I've been doing that. I clocked up 25 miles last week walking in the woods and the fields.

    I tried to do it alone without the dog, but I didn't get far. I'm just taking it slow and steady. Back to baby steps. The dog gets a good walk, and he is less hyperactive now.

    The walking has improved my sleep, my skin, and my mental health. I'm really happy in that regard. But the last 2 days I haven't been able to leave the house. I felt pretty bad about it, and like I'm failing, but I instead did some decorating. I need to give myself little wins daily, and things to look forward to.

    Writing lists daily has been a huge help too.

    They want to keep me under the care in the community until after Christmas so I'm following their recommendations.
    __________________
    The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.

    “I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned.” - Richard Feynman

    ☪️️

  5. #35
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    2,657

    Re: I'm in a really bad place and I've done something stupid

    Quote Originally Posted by Carnation View Post
    It's very sad reading this post wired.
    Pleasd don't hesitate to contact the crisis team if you think your life is in danger. I can understand why you don't want to go down that road again but think of your boy and the people that love you.
    Who knows why some people get rich and others don't. I've worked hard all of my life and have less than someone who has floated through life on a whim.
    I can hear your disappointment and I think you need to dig deep with your faith. Build on some routine where you using your time to replenish your body and mind. Set some manageable tasks.
    You've been through a lot this year and through life. Positives can come, you are still very young, anything can happen.
    Thank you Carnation you are a lovely person. I didn't read any responses because I was embarrassed and guilty.

    How are you doing are you ok?

    Money doesn't mean anything. If you can build happiness in life without it, I think you've nailed the secret to life. The people I know who are wealthy are in a bad place mentally. I'd rather have my happiness and peace than money and stress.
    __________________
    The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.

    “I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned.” - Richard Feynman

    ☪️️

  6. #36
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    576

    Re: I'm in a really bad place and I've done something stupid

    Quote Originally Posted by WiredIncorrectly View Post
    I'm in a better place. It's taken some hard work to get out of the hole, but I think I'm making progress.

    The community doctor suggested I start doing 30 minutes walk daily with the dog. I've been doing that. I clocked up 25 miles last week walking in the woods and the fields.

    I tried to do it alone without the dog, but I didn't get far. I'm just taking it slow and steady. Back to baby steps. The dog gets a good walk, and he is less hyperactive now.

    The walking has improved my sleep, my skin, and my mental health. I'm really happy in that regard. But the last 2 days I haven't been able to leave the house. I felt pretty bad about it, and like I'm failing, but I instead did some decorating. I need to give myself little wins daily, and things to look forward to.

    Writing lists daily has been a huge help too.

    They want to keep me under the care in the community until after Christmas so I'm following their recommendations.
    Wowzers ... there are a lot of positives there. I also need to pull myself together and get back on track.

  7. #37
    Join Date
    Jul 2016
    Posts
    2,657

    Re: I'm in a really bad place and I've done something stupid

    Quote Originally Posted by Scissel View Post
    Wowzers ... there are a lot of positives there. I also need to pull myself together and get back on track.
    It's tough isn't it Scissel. I seem to do ok when I've got the support. How are you doing?
    __________________
    The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away.

    “I would rather have questions that can't be answered than answers that can't be questioned.” - Richard Feynman

    ☪️️

  8. #38
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Posts
    576

    Re: I'm in a really bad place and I've done something stupid

    Quote Originally Posted by WiredIncorrectly View Post
    It's tough isn't it Scissel. I seem to do ok when I've got the support. How are you doing?
    Yeah, hard to get back on track from large setbacks. Thank you for asking, I'm hanging in there, I guess, but I need to catch this before its too late and get back up because the longer I stay down the harder it becomes.

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