I'm in a really bad place and I've done something stupid

[Scissel]

Thank you for your advice and I'll try to appreciate the good moments.

I hope you're managing I see you've also been having it rough ... try to take good care of yourself.

[Carnation]

Wired, I think you are too hard on yourself. I think you do incredibly well. You've had some rough times and personal issues and even in those dark periods the light shines again and you are up and running doing something positive.
So what it the decorating takes ages, you'll know it's done well. I love the idea about the shelves and doing something similar myself. It's called the rustic look and you can stain the wood to whatever colour you want.
I've just moved myself and have a mountain of jobs to do around the house. In one way I want to click my fingers and all done but there is something about a gradual transformation and having an ongoing project.
So instead of getting down about it, praise yourself for the things you have done so far. And everyone knows you have mess when you doing work on the house. It's only temporary.
The walking will come back, look at it as a phase, a blip. And enjoy watching your vintage programmes when life gets tough.