Thought I was in menopause but just got my period 2 days short of 12 months :(

[carriewriting]

Thanks JoJo, here in Australia you have to see a gyno to get a biopsy and they are booked up for months! Also the timing is bad because everything shuts down in December for Christmas and the gynos go on leave! The only consolation is me going away will probably have no impact as I wouldn't get an appointment in that time period anyway.

I just saw my GP again and she's spoken to a gyno who said I'd need a d&c but that won't happen before January.

I started crying in the office because the thought of dealing with the anxiety until then feels overwhelming. I was only just coping with having everything lined up to be acted on immediately when I got back.

Came home and sent the referral to every gyno in the region. I'm going to come home a week early for an appointment on 5 December and the lovely receptionist said if I needed surgery that could happen before Christmas.

[jojo2316]

Did they actually say what the most likely outcome is though? From what ive read your hyperplasia is very boarderline… and low risk?

[carriewriting]

Yes I was thinking about this last night - about how much my health anxiety warped mind is overestimating the risk. Then this morning I got an email from a local gyno/oncologist who has reviewed my notes and the scan report. She said I don't need to cancel my trip and she will see me when I'm back. I've told my husband to remind me of this if I start freaking out while I'm away.

[carriewriting]

Seeing the gyno tomorrow. My SIL pulled some strings so I could be seen before I fly out on Wednesday. I'm trying really hard to keep lid on my anxiety. I listened to the day tight compartments section of Stop Worrying Start Living and that helped a lot. I know I have a choice - go on the trip and enjoy it or go on the trip and let anxiety ruin it.

[jojo2316]

How are you doing? And welcome to Europe!

[carriewriting]

Thanks JoJo. I'm in a better frame of mind now that I'm here, but had a huge anxiety spiral at the airport. I was able to see a gyno the day before I left. He did a quick internal ultrasound and said he thinks the bleed was a period but that the lining is thickened so I'll need a d&c but he didn't see anything to suggest it's cancer. In his words "if you were my wife I'd say go on holidays and have a good time." Follow up appointment is booked for 19 December. I've accepted the d&c won't happen until after Christmas now. This has been a good lesson in patience. It's still on my mind, but I'm calmer about it. Not quite optimistic, but not as pessimistic

[Pkstracy]

As I told you, you have to go a full 12 months and some doctors even say thirteen my poor aunt was 11 months and three weeks away from hitting the fully done and she started, just like you hers was thickened she went in for all the tests, the doctor looks at her and says I normally tell women to wait 13 months to declare full on-set menopause. Hers turned out to be nothing and I am sure yours will be as well.

[carriewriting]

Thanks so much for sharing your aunt's story Pkstracy. I'm so glad she was okay.

A few years ago I had 3 things I was being tested for at the same time and would have put a million dollars on at least one of them being cancer.

I'm trying to remind myself how sure I was of that back then and how wrong I was on all three counts and hopefully will be again.

But I had to stage an intervention on myself today as I have been completely out of control the past 10 days with my anxiety.

I have done literally everything I shouldn't have and surprise, surprise, it's made my mental health a thousand times worse.

What happened was, after a week of semi-acceptance and calm, I started very lightly spotting brown 7 days ago and it threw me into a complete panic.

Logically this happened 28 days after the "period" last month, so I guess hormones is the most likely explanation, but it's been 7 days with no sign of stopping so I have been spiralling through the worst case scenarios of the worst case scenario.

I've also been beating myself up about my high BMI and that I've "given" myself cancer because of my weight and now I'm going to leave my kids and its all my fault...you know, the health anxiety script/playbook.

Even worse, I've been reading Reddit threads which is just such a bad idea because you just find more things to be scared of while trying to find the good news stories. Someone said they had sciatica and thigh pain as a symptom of their endometrial cancer and I have that so now that's in my head too.

Worst of all, I've been asking Chat GPT questions about my situation and even though it was reassuring, I couldn't stop asking it and I'd even get upset when it was being nice to me because I'm so scared. Being away from my support crew really made me turn inward - never a good thing.

Last night I went to a lovely Christmas concert and was itching the whole time to ask Chat GPT again about the spotting and if this increases my chances of it being cancer and if I've got it, if it's going to come back after it's treated!

I mean...Just reading this back I can't believe I let it get to this point.

Walking back to the hotel I realised I had to get this situation under control asap and my mental health is actually the biggest health issue I have at the moment.

Got back to the hotel and cancelled my Chat GPT subscription and deleted it off my laptop and phone. Did the same with Reddit.

I get back from vacation in 10 days.

I'm going to check in here every day to stay on my anxiety management plan until then.

[BlueIris]

I'm so sorry, Carrie. I'm a little younger than you but I'm also larger and terrified of endometrial cancer - I freak out every time my period does something a little odd.

You're doing all the right things, so don't beat yourself up for slipping up. We'll all be here to cheerlead for you.

[carriewriting]

Thanks BlueIris. Oddly, before this I was pretty chill about endometrial cancer as I know someone who had it 13 years ago. She had a hysterectomy and that was all the treatment she needed, not even chemo and it's never come back.

I had a better day today, helped by no spotting. I've been focussing on staying in the moment and am feeling a lot calmer. Every time my mind starts to drift to the future I've been shutting it down. Not having the crutch of Chat GPT in my pocket has definitely helped.