Relapse struggle

[busterrufus]

Hi
I’ve been going through a bad relapse the past couple of weeks. Been on and off anxiety/depression symptoms for over 2 years, after having some improvement before that. I’m supposed to be going to a comedy show tonight with my husband and daughter. It’s in a town about an hours drive away (I’m not driving) . I’ve been tryng to talk sense to myself about this for weeks. This morning I woke up with palpitations ,nausea and severe agitation . Not that unusual for me. I’ve taken my medication. I think this has been building up for a couple of weeks.
Basically, I feel almost frozen in this state. I just want these physical symptoms to disappear. I’ve tried the usual breathing exercises, meditation , pmr . I’m so scared that I will let my family down and not be able to go. I feel like a coiled spring. Not been sleeping well and had a couple of bad anxiety experiences in the shops recently. Basically scared of dying if I do go I think.

Thanks for reading . Please reply if you’ve got any advice.
Ruth

[Anglo]

Hi Ruth, did you manage to make it to the comedy show? How was it? If you didn't go, how was your evening? Either way, how are you doing now?

[Pkstracy]

Sending you hugs Ruth, I hope you were able to go, if so how was it and how are you doing now?

[busterrufus]

Hello Anglo and Pk,
Thanks for replying, I didn’t think anyone would!
I did go to the show. When we got there we found the comedian had been running late due to transport problems and we had to wait in a long queue outside in the cold. It was funny and I laughed a lot although I felt uncomfortable . I was extremely tired afterwards from being anxious and somewhere unfamiliar.8 I struggle going anywhere really.
Best wishes, Ruth

[Anglo]

Ruth, it's so great that you were able to go out and have a good time despite your struggles. Look at what you accomplished! That's incredible. Does it make you smile thinking back to that night? Both because of the comedy and because you were brave enough to be there to enjoy it?

Life is full of these wins and moments of joy. Sometimes we forget them too easily (or at least I do). It's nice to remind ourselves how strong we can be and what a delightful time we can have as a result.