Hi all,

I've suffered from HA for many years, I was convinced I had every conceivable illness at some point. At one stage I was researching illnesses with no initial symptoms and then convincing myself that my *lack* of symptoms proved I was actually very ill.

In recent years, I've been a lot better thanks to therapy, apart from occasional niggles such as thinking I have early onset dementia if I can't remember something instantly. That being said I am still generally very anxious and get panicky if any little thing goes wrong.

However, I've had problems in the past with acid reflux that's affected my throat and voice (diagnosed by a consultant). In the last few months, my throat has been sore and my voice is a bit hoarse. I've been too scared to go to the doctor but finally contacted them today. At my GP, you fill out a form online and then they call you back within 2 days.

I thought this would help but now I feel absolutely terrified of what they will find. I've already been reading about what to do when you are diagnosed with oesophageal cancer. I'm imagining having to give up work and how will I survive financially and emotionally? I want to cry. And my throat feels worse than ever. I'm kicking myself for not going to the doctor sooner.

My instinct is to go and see a consultant privately so I can get tests done immediately but this will cost a small fortune. I will feel pretty stupid if I spend £3k and find out all I have is acid reflux. I also know from past experience that if you feed the HA beast, it just keeps coming back for more and more.

How do others cope in this limbo period? Any suggestions gratefully received! Sorry for long and rambling post. I posted this in HA thread but not sure if it's meant to go here.