Why am I still here?

[Mrschurchill]

I’ve been a part of this forum for about 11/12 years now. I’ve just went back through my thread catalogue (go do it if you want a laugh!) and it sincerely humours me how many life threatening illnesses I’ve had over that time… obv it was none but I was SO unequivocally convinced at the time that I’d have bet my salary on it.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s horribly sad because i was so mentally drained and equally terrified of leaving my family (my daughter was a toddler, she’s now 12, in high school and absolutely in the pre-teen phase of her life!)

So here I am, still here, with yet another life threatening illness which I know deep down with likely just be a UTI and or anxiety… but it’s obviously going to end my life in 3 months right?

Siiiiiighhhh. I was doing well for a long time. Can I blame it on peri-menopause yet?

[lees6655]

Hi MrsC i feel the same way as you I also thought that I've had lots of life threatening illnesses but after all these years on here I'm still here. I always thought i would stop feeling like this when I got older but nearly 30 years on still the same . I'm struggling again at the minute as you know as you have commented on my post. Chin up hope your feeling better soon.

[Button1]

I think honestly that it doesn’t really ever go this HA thing. It probably goes into remission for chunks of time but I think if you suffer it’s possibly always lurking to some degree and hopefully gradually you pick up tools to deal with it (and obviously lean on this forum too!!) as the years go by. I’ve had a wobble recently but in comparison to where I was it’s nothing. I’m not cured but I’m so much better! I think it’s a case of rolling with the punches and knowing where to turn for help- I don’t love that it’s part of my life but everyone has their challenges I guess and I do feel happier about how I manage it now x

[Mrschurchill]

Thanks both for the reply. No doubt in a month I will look back at this and roll my eyes at myself. My husband is so unbelievably laid back it utterly baffles me. He doesn’t worry about anything!

[Button1]

Oh gosh my husband is exactly the same. He literally could be covered in lumps and bleeding everywhere and he wouldn’t be worried, it blows my mind. Probably good we don’t have anxious husbands though right?!

[Anglo]

It ebbs and flows for me.

I was always an anxious child, but never really health anxious. I laugh in disbelief when I look back on how I was and compare it so how I am now. I would be having an anaphylactic reaction and somehow not be worried or panicked about it, whereas now I can get in a tizzy if I feel a tingle or twinge for too long.

Like I said, it ebbs and flows. A couple of years ago I was quite bad. A year ago I was quite good. Right now I'm not great. It both saddens me to see others here who have been here for years, but also comforts me that I'm not alone and we can all continue to support each other.

[CooperHale]

You are right, I feel the same.

[Fishmanpa]

I've followed your journey from the beginning and have commented on many of your threads. The difference now is that you recognize the pattern. Put into use all the tools you've learned through the years and revisit your post history if you need reassurance and affirmation. Pat yourself on the back for the progress you've made, draw from your experiences and pour some that experience water on the dragon's flames

FMP

[alpacagirl]

Oh yes, right there with you. I'm slowly getting better at dealing with things as they pop up now, but some still leave me in a panic for a few days before I can talk myself down off that ledge. My husband is really laid back too and he's got some real health issues going on. He gets annoyed with the effect they have on his life but never anxious about it. Now when I start to stress he just says " you are not dying" and that's it LOL. I always say I want his brain (but not his poor broken body!!)

[Mrschurchill]

Followed your journey also Fish! Always have the most wise words, very thankful for them!