Turn and face the strain... (Huge life changes)

[BlueIris]

I've been here for a good few years now, mostly because of my health anxiety. Met a lot of wonderful people and hope to meet lots more, as the health anxiety hasn't gone away. It's been four absolutely insane weeks, though, and I've had to confront a bunch of my worst fears.

In less than a month I've been diagnosed with diabetes, anaemia, cataracts and peripheral artery disease, and I've gone from thinking I was in reasonable shape for a big girl to living in constant, 24/7 pain. Barring medical appointments, I haven't missed a day of work, and it's getting so hard to keep going when the pain isn't touched by painkillers and it often keeps me awake at night.

People are being wonderful and I very much appreciate it, but this is such a lonely place to be. I'm also worried sick that the source of the anaemia will turn out to be some sort of cancer.

Every day I have to stick myself four times to check my blood sugar and inject myself four more times. I've had to change my eating habits, but that's honestly been the least of it.

I'm so scared things are only going to get worse from here...

[Carnation]

BlueIris, I read your post and at first thought you were going to announce leaving NMP.
I can hear your despair and sadness to your new diagnosis and obviously send you hugs as well as remind you I am around if you ever need someone to talk to.
I'm also not dimming down your diagnosis but cataracts and anemia can be dealt with quite easily.
Diabetes with management means you can still do everything in life you want to.
I don't know much about peripheral artery disease but the fact it has peri in the title means you are not in any danger at present so can be managed as well.
I get that it's a lot to take in and somewhat a shock but there's no reason it should get worse in the near future.
Maybe you could have a chat with your GP how this has affected you and your concerns.

[BlueIris]

Peripheral artery disease is hardening/narrowing of the arteries in the legs or arms. It's not threatening to life in the first instance but can definitely threaten limbs.

I've spoken to so many medical professionals but they're so busy and I don't think they get how big and scary it all is, especially when I'm struggling to even walk fifty yards to the bus stop.

Hope all's well with you.

[Carnation]

That's what I thought BlueIris.
It's something that needs monitoring and you obviously need pain management. It's a lot to get your head round let alone deal with on a daily basis.
But knowing, you can deal with it. You are of strong character and will and you'll deal with it in time xx

[BlueIris]

Got an urgent referral to the vascular surgeon now. Struggling to cope.

[Carnation]

This might be a good thing, you can get answers and don't hold back about asking about any concerns you have.

[NoraB]

I echo what Carn said, Blue.

You're on the floor now, but you will find the strength to get up again because that's who you are.

It's ok to feel scared, but know that you're not alone...

You have friends here. X

[BlueIris]

Thank you. Nora, do you have WhatsApp?

[BlueIris]

I've been called in to the surgical assessment unit tomorrow. Had another sobbing meltdown at work and got sent home. I can't do this any more.

[Chlobo]

I've been called in to the surgical assessment unit tomorrow. Had another sobbing meltdown at work and got sent home. I can't do this any more.

Hi blue, I’m sorry to hear it’s all happening for you at the moment. Medical phobia is really hard to cope with especially when you’re diagnosed with a real physical issue because it feels like you’re walking into the lions den when you’re just walking into a hospital or doctors surgery. The fact you have attended so many appointments in this short time is going to really get your alarm going but you are strong and you can do this. This won’t be forever. They will make a plan for you and you’ll come out the other side feeling better because they will have you on the right medications and treatment plans. I know how scared you are right now but there will be a light at the end of this tunnel