Health anxiety & grief

[EdieP]

Hi there

Content warning: grief, death of parent


I've been a long time reader of some of the threads on here, for which a belated thank you for the help they gave me. I have finally found the courage to post something on here myself.
I've had health anxiety since my middle teens and I'm now late middle age. I have been up and down with this my entire adult life. Then in April this year my father died following a long battle with cancer. My grief for him is immense and I don't begrudge it because he is worth it. He was my one safe parent growing up. What has surprised me though, is how my grief following Dad's passing has become intricately interwoven with my health anxiety, which is worse than ever before. Once again every little random symptom is magnified in my mind until I am frozen with fear. I am having therapy for this and I am lucky with a good GP who is very understanding, but it is relentless & in the last six months I've run the gauntlet of health anxiety with every condition or disease I have ever feared, its been incredibly intense. Has anyone experienced an upsurge in their health anxiety when grieving? If so my heart goes out to you and I would be thankful for any guidance, please.

Thank you and wishing you all good health and freedom from worry

[venusbluejeans]

Hiya EdieP and welcome to NMP

Why not take a look at our articles on our home page, they contain a wealth of information and
are a great starting place for your time on the forum.

I hope you find the as site helpful and informative as I have and that you get the help and
support you need here and hope that you meet a few friends along the way

[Scissel]

Welcome; EdieP.

I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sorry that exacerbated your health anxiety. I hope you will recover soon and I hope you find our forum helpful.

TC

Sal

[.Poppy.]

Hi Edie,

I'm so sorry for your loss and I hope you are able to find some support.

I haven't had this specifically with grief, but I've found my health anxiety increases when I am going through other highly stressful times. At least for me, even though it is distressing, it is familiar so I tend to revert there. It's almost like it feels like a "safer" type of anxiety to experience than whatever else may be going on. However, that's obviously not a great coping mechanism - so I hope that therapy is able to help you find some better options.

[NoraB]

Has anyone experienced an upsurge in their health anxiety when grieving? If so my heart goes out to you and I would be thankful for any guidance, please.

Hi Edie, I'm so sorry for the loss of your dad.

In answer to the question, yes.

My thought on this is that the death of someone close to us, especially a parent, is that it not only puts us on a rollercoaster of emotions (grief) but also it forces us to look to our own mortality, and that can be scary if we fear the reaper, so to speak...

Bottom line: you've lost your dad, and grief can be as physical an experience as it is psychological and emotional. Some people become numb with grief, but others experience severe anxiety where they become hyper-aware of every symptom in their body, and if you're already prone to HA, it's inevitable that it's going to come at you like a freight train...

If it helps, I lost my mum in 2011. The grief was overwhelming, more so, I think, because she died suddenly and without warning. My HA, combined with the shock of death triggering Fibromyalgia (which wasn't diagnosed until 2019) created a situation of uncontrollable HA which led to a breakdown in 2017.

Two things happened...

One, the night before I was to have a colonoscopy which would show cancer, for sure - I accepted death.

Two, when the test revealed that I had the best lookin' colon in Manchester, I knew I had to do the work on myself because breakdown due to severe anxiety is not somewhere I ever want to be again.

I did the CBT and worked on challenging my thoughts (I still do) but this was alongside changing how I thought about death. While my OCD and intrusive thoughts will always try and drag my mind to the darkest corners of hell, I'm also able to observe them for what they are (just thoughts, not reality) and counteract them with the more positive thoughts about death.

There's no time limit on grief, but it won't always feel like it does now...

Good luck with the therapy.

[EdieP]

NoraB, Poppy, Scissel, and venusbluejeans, thank you so much for your replies to my post, you are all so kind. I really appreciate your words and insights. Nora, what you said about grief makes so much sense, thank you, and I am sorry to read what you have gone through to get to where you are now. I so admire the work you have put in. Whilst giving myself grace, it is something that I need to do now too.
Thanks again for the warm welcome.