Before now, I've always felt comfortable with needles without numbing creams or ice-cold sprays being applied, and I've had no problems with them before now. Since one experience that I've had during an operation, I've been unable to have procedures that involve needles, even with numbing creams or ice-cold sprays being applied, which leads to my appointments getting cancelled halfway through all the time. Now, it seems impossible to be treated or diagnosed, as they are unable to get samples for analysis.
Just knowing the day before and on the morning of the appointment that I have be have a procedure involving a needle is enough to cause dizziness, faintness, nausea, sweating, elevated heart rate, high blood pressure, shortness of breath, panicking, and being unable to remain still. It feels even worse when I see the nurse preparing the needle and cleaning my arm before wrapping the band around it. I've also started feeling angry with desires that are dangerous to those around me and not like me at all, and I always try to avoid appointments by asking them to cancel them after getting halfway. In the end, it ends up with me leaving feeling disappointed with myself and worse than before, as I know that I've made zero progress since the previous time and experience.
The painful experience that started all this off was an operation to have some teeth removed at the hospital, as it was impossible that it could be done at the dentist, since just checking my teeth was enough to make me feel anxious and fearful of the equipment. On the day of the appointment, I didn't have any symptoms or medications that were mentioned above, and was comfortable with the procedure. They offered me the mask or the cannula for the general anesthetic to be administered, and I ended up choosing the cannula for the first time in my life, which I have regretted ever since. Now, I always choose the flavored mask, as the pain was almost instant and severe compared to what I had felt before in my entire life, and I never want to go through that experience again.
I can still remember the painful burning sensation in my arm and veins as it was administered, which felt like fire coursing through me, and it did not help put me asleep at all, but only intensified the painful burning sensation as they continued. The pain became so unbearable that I broke down in tears and started panicking while trying to get out of there, as I felt like I was in danger and needed to get away from these people. They eventually switched to the mask for my own safety, as the cannula was not helping me be put asleep at all, and I was already traumatized enough and not able to stay still in my state for them to attempt administering more.
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