This Damned Meds Trap!!!!!!!!!!

[sarasvati]

Hey Bill
You are so lucky to have recovered without meds! That's wonderful.
I think I will have to do it this way now too, although the thoughts are just too much for me and even though Seroxat is not working as well as before it does take the edge of things. I've signed up for CBT.
I spent years in psychoanalytic psychotherapy and other more analytic forms of healing and can say definately that going into your past and problems is interesting but not so practically useful. I wouldn't waste my money on it any more unless I had lot's of it. EFT is what helped me recover the first time and I'm hoping that acceptance, and CBT will be helpfull too.
Well done
S.x

[dinkydoo]

Reading this reinforces to me why I could never be brave enough to take the medication in the first place. I was told once I will never get better unless I take anti depressants, well, sorry but I am gonna do everything and anything I can to avoid it cause it scares the hell out of me!!!!

[dinkydoo]

By the way, well done for coming off the meds, you are to be congratulated, good luck with your recovery. xxxxx

[chalky]

Hi All,
Meds CAN be a help to the suffering individual.I do not believe they are the answer to all our problems.Working at ourselves to develop coping strategies in the long term is the answer for me.
I used Meds for years and was glad of them at that time.I have been Med free for 19 months.
Best wishes,
Chalky

[Yvonne]

Dinkydoo

Thanks for that - it has been hard - and still is actually, nearly 6 weeks down the line. I feel much better in the way that I'm not lethargic and dopey all the time and actually I don't think my panics are any worse than they were on Duloxetine.

If people can stay off meds then I personally do think it's the way to go - try everything before you go on meds I say. What Bill says is so right about being alone and going into your thoughts - the mind seeks out anxious and depressing thoughts with this illness. Years of suffering probably cause that. I DO think it's a meds trap and I hear of lots of people who are maybe not as well informed on this subject - only yesterday I was talking to an old friend who told me that a friend of hers is on meds and each time she comes off the "illness" comes back. Well, hey what's the use of taking the med then in the first place? My gut feeling is that it isn't the return of the original illness and I think that comes out loud and clear in my messages.

When depression gets to a stage where you can't eat and you have no interest whatsoever in life and you have even lower thoughts (won't say the word) ----- then it is time for a med definitely. With anxiety as well, there are levels of anxiety. If you are anxious all day long and it is literally torturing you then of course you have to try to help yourself with medication - who would suffer such great pain.

Sara - I am so glad the 10mg Seroxat is helping you a bit - even if it takes the edge off that's something. If I thought Seroxat would work for me again I would consider taking it but I really cannot risk it.

Bill, so many wise words from you - you know this illness inside out and you know how to treat it. I think you have had years of suffering - although I haven't read any of your old posts. I think you have been an incredibly strong man and you are now reaping the rewards.

Take care all.

[Bill]

Anxiety can feel as if it's suddenly pounced on us but I feel that unless there has been a specific traumatic event, our anxieties build over a long period of time until one day it feels we can't take anymore.

I could say my anxiety started in October 1995 but in reality that is the month that things got too much to cope with.

I'll always remember how on a Saturday night I got up to do the washing up, stared into the bowl and felt myself falling into a black hole. it frightened me so much that I just walked out the room and laid on the bed. I didn't know what was happening to me.

I went to see the doctor who put me on diazepam (valium) and left me on them for 3 years until I decided I wanted to come off them because I'd found out how addictive they were and I didn't want that to happen to me. It still took me 6 months to come off them though. They then tried all the different ad's which I found lifted my mood for a short period of time but the symptoms continued. After they'd run out of alternatives, they gave me ECT (Electro Convulsive Treatment) which is really used for depression but that's what they thought I suffered from.

During this period I became so low that I self harmed, had suicidal thoughts and took od's. I also suffered panic attacks and became anxious about going out. I guess to them I had all the symptoms of depression.

What I really felt was trapped. I couldn't see a way out of the way I felt inside.

The reason I'm saying this is because I feel that often we reach a point where we can't take anymore and at that time we need medication to lift our mood while we find ways to ease the pressures that have created our anxieties.

Sometimes though the help we need isn't available so we are left on medication. However, some people find that they need their medication to live a better a life and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. We all have the same goal and there's more than one way to cope. It comes down to personal choice but as long as the choice we use enables us to live a better life, that's all that matters.

Ideally I feel medication for anxiety should be used to aid a person towards recovery rather than being used long term to prop them up but I realise some people wouldn't want to be without their medication and I wouldn't argue with that because they've found their way in coping.

Personally I wouldn't want to go back down that route because of the long term complications they can cause but I do feel they serve a purpose when we need something to get out of a pit.

All I know is that if a person would prefer to cope without medication in the long term and they feel ready to attempt it, then it Is most definitely possible because I know of too many success stories and I'm no different from everyone else on here.

[Jimbo]

Hey Yvonne,

How's things going now?

I know this time of year makes us all more vulnerable. I hope you managed a good Christmas.

Jim

[Yvonne]

Hi Jim

I managed Cmas day very well. My mood is low but not dire. My anxiety has been very low which is marvellous. The other day we were at a shopping village and I wandered off alone a lot on my own and I felt normal. I have to say that my panics are no worse than they were when I was on the Duloxetine so I know the medication was not helping at all on that score.

However, I do have this low mood on as I say - sometimes, like this morning when in a supermarket - I only need one little flicker of panic (like a churn of the tummy) and it brings on this horrible defeated feeling and I then get the lump in my throat and I think oh god almighty I'm getting this crying sort of feeling come over me. I think that feeeling is where I am disappointed with myself for not being 100%. That's ridiculous of course because I am definitely not going to feel 100% - it just won't happen like that.

Off the meds I am much better in that I am not a dopey wreck all day long - I sleep so much better at night, lots of other little minor things I've noticed.

I am worrying a lot about my mood dips, I dread to slip into an awful depression. I think my past memory of my withdrawal from Seroxat is still fresh in my mind and I think I am worrying that I may go back to how I was then. I can't actually see this happening though because I really don't feel that bad.

You okay Jim?

Bill, I had no idea that you had been through so much - I was shocked to read how bad you have been.

I also didn't realise that you had tried a lot of meds in the past. You have come through something of a nightmare to say the least, and you have come through the other side.

I will continue on this journey of no meds for as long as I can - each day is another day off meds which I thought I could never do - so that must be good. I will know when I am at the stage that I literally HAVE to take medication, but at the moment, I am not at that stage.

Love to all,.