Another test.....

[Lilith1980]

Hi all

My boyfriend rang me tonight (he's working late) saying that he's been allowed back into our local pub.

Brief history: when we were still going to this local pub he went through a period of mixing his drinks and which basically turned him argumentative with people, and nasty towards me for no reason. There was also such an incident in this pub where he seemed to be flirting with one of our friends. Putting his arms round her and being too touchy feely for my liking. Other friends noticed this too when I told them and agreed it wasn't right. He didnt remember doing this but said it wouldnt happen again.

Since then, I've always been anxious about seeing this girl if we are out, we dont see her often but when we do my heart sinks and I feel like I should leave cos my b/f would rather be with her. Last time we saw her they hugged a couple of times, and he kissed her on the cheek. She looked emotional, maybe cos she hadnt seen him in months, they talked for a while and I was left standing there and it just seemed to me that there was "something there". I felt "in the way". All in my head I know but didnt seem any less real. My b/f said he would stop being so touchy feely with girls cos he said he wouldnt like it if I was like that with guys. He says he doesnt like this girl in that way because she "puts it about" and loves me because I'm not like that. We are getting married next year, he asked me to marry him. All the signs are that he loves ME

He got barred from the pub on an occasion where he had again, mixed his drinks, was arguing with me for god knows whatever reason. He had asked me to meet him at this pub and when I phoned him to see if he was there he got stroppy and when I turned up he looked at me like I was dirt. This girl was sat with him, together with some other mates and I thought maybe he had gotten stroppy cos he didnt want me there. Anyway, the landlady suggested he leave and he said some nasty things to her, hence he got barred.

Anyway so when he told me tonight that he's been allowed back in, my heart sank. I dont know if I want to go back in there. I associate that pub with all those bad things that went on and I dont want to go through that again. We used to go in there most nights and I dont want to do that anymore, I dont want to be in there every other night. This girl is an issue for me too, she will no doubt be in there so I've got to deal with this. I'm suspicious she's after him even though she now has a b/f of her own.

She is cuddly with most people, maybe cos its my b/f she hugs and talks to about her problems, that I'm insecure. She has talked to him a lot in the past about problems in her life so maybe she looks up to my boyfriend which is a compliment to him. I just don't know what to do to deal with this, I feel so anxious at the moment.

To be honest I wish he hadnt been allowed back in, I've just got a bad feeling about it all

Any advice would be welcome guys xxxxx

[louwilliams]

i'd lay the law down with your b/f and ask him not to do anything more than say hello to this girl and leave it at that. if you tell him not to speak to her he will only accuse you of being possesive and paranoid so try to explain how it makes you feel when you are around her. or show him this post. please try not to worry hun-he's with you for a reason and he asked you to marry him for a reason. he wants you not her or anyone else. i personally think he's just being insensetive-as most blokes are

xxxxxx

[denize]

aww i do feel for you agree with what lou said its you he has asked to marry i would lay the law down and tell him he can say hello to this girl and thats it its making u uncomfotable and you dont like the way they are in front of you i also would say that you dont wish to go into the pub every night like you did before you do need to talk or show him this thread i hope it works out for you take care Denize xxx

[kellie]

jo be firm with him hun and tell him u are not happy with they way things are with him and this other girl. if he says u are being silly then tell him maybe you are but that is how u feel nand if he loves u he will have enough respact for u to not make u feel insurcure. tell him also that going to that pub is not some thing u want to do untill he can be a little more sensivtive to what u are feeling. show him the post and the replies u have recived. if he loves u jo he will have respect and stop this touchy stuff with this other girl.
all the best hun i hope this helps and he gets his act together soon. kellie xxxxxx