Going round in circles

[Jules31]

I feel that no matter how hard I try, I just don't seem to get any better.

I have never got rid of all of my symptoms in the last three years or even gone a day without them. But sometimes they improve a little and then come crashing back to haunt me, then I end up here feeling like a broken record.

Today I feel at the end of my tether. I didn't sleep well, keep waking with almost night terrors, heart racing, feeling like I couldn't breathe and jumping out of bed and then feeling faint. Though I was sure I was dying, whilst half asleep.

Then I went to court, I haven't been to the Magistrates for over a year but I thought I would be ok, but on waking my legs were like lead and I was so off balance. Once in court, my head was pounding like never before. It still hurts several hours afterwards and itsn't like a usual tension type headache. The whole of my head hurts inside and out. My head keeps burning and I feel as though I'm fading out.

Also everyday, I'm getting so much air trapped in the top of my stomach and chest that I really feel like someone is sittting on my chest and as though I can' t breathe. It goes eventually but then comes back and nothing helps, not even tonic water, Meg.

I have lots of other symptoms but have no time to details them. I've gotta go as work is so busy. Why can't I get rid of this like everyone else. I'm back to thinking this can't be anxiety.

Jules

I'm just so fed up of it all. I feel dreadful all day everyday.


Jules

[FAN]

hi im so sorry your having such a terrinble day, you say you have never got rid of the symptoms but i think maybe you have learned to cope with them as you say they do ease a little im sure your just having a blip day and it will soon pass try not to get too down about it we are all here for you. take care

fan x

[jude]

Hi Jules,

I found that convincing myself that these were just anxiety symptoms was the hardest yet most important part of recovery.
The more you doubt this, the worse it will get and will keep returning because you are afraid.

I keep banging on about Claire Weekes books, but I found them brilliant. Have you read any of them. It might be an idea to do so. She explains how and why these things happen in an easy to understand, down to earth way. She doesnt blind you with science, just tells it how it is. I found them a comfort.

Jude x

[Meg]

Do you think that the worry of going back to Magistrates court has had anything to do with it or is that coincidental





Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance

[nomorepanic]

Jules

I was like you too - I had all the symptoms for years and not months, and they never eased. The dizziness was there for well over 3 years and I never ever felt well.

Mine eased after I went on a diet and started exercising - aerobics and swimming.

I can't remember how much exercise you do but you never know it may help.

Hang in there ok - it does get better - eventually!

Have you considered going back to doc and asking for another health-check to make sure all is ok.?

Nicola

[jo-jo]

Hiya Jules

Sorry to hear you're having such a rotten time right now, try to be patient, things will get better for you.

Sounds like you're really busy with work too - maybe you need to reconsider how much time you've got for yourself and try to make some extra time to do some things to relax or just for you.

Take care
Love Jo xxx

"courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear"

[razocaine_07]

howdy jules. i too am sorry to hear 'bout your rough time. It sounds like pure stress and tension that has just washed over you, physically and mentally. I agree with jo-jo take some time out ( if its possible ) to do things that you enjoy or get in touch with friends to help you through this bad time. If your really worried about whats going on with your body then get yourself booked in to the doctors for a once over

[Jules31]

Thanks everyone for you help.

Today is no better in fact I ache so much, I feel like I can hardly move. And I still feel dizzy and so exhausted.

I know work is busy and the wedding plans are taking up a lot of time too but I just can't see how I can have so many more physical symptoms.

I've not been going to the drs cos as some of you will know at one stage I was there at least once a week and I know I have to reassure myself. It's just the what if there really is something wrong fear that keeps cropping up. I'm challenging it but not doing too well.

And Meg, I think court made things worse but this has been coming on for the last month or so. It was strange but the guy I was prosecuting produced a letter saying he'd suffered from all sorts of symptoms which were thought to be anixety related and then it was discovered he had Epstein Barr Virus and and increased levels of dopamine. Think it just stirred things up with my worries again, cos I read of all sorts of tests he'd had that I haven't. But enough of that as I know it's all negative thinking.

Thank goodness I have next week off work, well if I can ever clear my desk

keep on supporting me guys.

Jules

And Nic, yes i do need to do a bit more exercise but I just can't find the time, which is no excuse


Jules

[lainey]

Hi Jules

Sorry that you are having such a bad time a t the moment, you are probably aching so much today as you were so tense yesterday.
As regards the dizziness it will go with time, I was like you last week after feeling good for a long time and then these horrible symptoms come back to haunt us and make us panic again, I'm sure it's just a blip and having next week off will do you the world of good. Chill out and dedicate the whole week to you if you can.

Take care

Elaine x