Depersonalisation

[coldwater]

Hi there ive posted on here before. Ive been sufffering with DP for half a year now every day is hellish. I feel like my thoughts are independent its horrible. i keep on talking to myslef in my head as though im schizo but i know its me whose doing it nonetheless it scares the hell out of me. Does anyone know how i can get over this because i dont know how many more days feeling like this i can take. im on cipralex hoping this will help, anybody takin cipralex with this illness before

[OMMATOPRO]

Hi,
The thing about depersonalization is that once we experience it, we dread the experience of course, but we are constantly analyzing our thoughts in our minds trying to figure out if we are ''in'' or ''out''. The more we analyze, the worse it gets. Fear brings on more fear and we develop the fear of experiencing depersonzliation, therefore we depersonalize. A reputed clinical psychologist/researcher once told me, 14 years ago, ....she said..''if I want to make myself depersonalized, I can do it right now''. This meant that she had control on it, but I did not at the time. And I thought to myself, if she has control, this means she is not afraid of it any longer.....but, it still took me a while to achieve that level of comfort with DP. I believe I have achieved somewhat some control over it by: first accepting it's there....second, it's not dangerous...third, it doesn't mean you are schizo. The reason it sticks around is that you are scared of it...and I don,t blame you! I've been through hell with that for years! As ridiculous as this may sound, embrace it, accept it. The last thing you want to do is ANALYZE. And it's the hardest thing to stop doing. But it can be done. You say you have been DP'd for 6 months now. Do you recall a time if you were focused on something, the feeling was not there, even for 5 minutes? You might say it does not look promising, we are talking about 5 minutes in your 6 months of suffering, but the point i'm trying to make here is that it's just a thought process..When DP first starts, it hits us with a Bang! and then it'shard to let go of that feeling...hard to let go of something that is making us feel so estranged because letting go of it might mean we are letting go of something important....but in fact we are not. I know how hard this is..trust me on that one. The Cipralex might help lessening the anxiety which, in turn, lessen your anxiety provoking thoughts....and there is a great possibility that what you are experiencing since 6 months is DP Phobia...that's what I call it. When you are afraid of feeling a particular way or thinking a particular thought, what's the first thing you'll end up doing? Feeling that particular way and thinking that particular thought. You so much don,t want to be in DP, that you end up feeling it!!!! This often happens. I hope this helps somewhat, but not being afraid of it and embracing it is the best way to deal with it...and slowly you will see that you are in DP less often. There are great articles about it. Let me know if you need anything. By the way, did you know that DP is a defence mechanism?

Sincerely,
J.

[joannap]

hi. i totally agree with the above post. even non anxiety sufferers think all the time - they are just not as sensitized to it. i had dp when my anxiety was really bad. with acceptance and not adding more fear to it - it gradually went. as soon as you are not scared of something - it fades over time. x

[sherdac]

Hi i can totally ralate to how you are feeling. It is hell. I can't help i'm afraid as i myself am struggling with this. I am just walking about like god knows what. it really is awful.feel free to pm me if you like.

[BasilCat]

Hi everyone, I am in this DP state too. Yes its awful and I find myself bracing myself against it, which is the wrong thing to do. I have been this way (apart from in April, May and June this year) since July last year. I am sick of it. It interferes so much with your life and is so distracting and no-one understands, other than you lot on here of course.

J and Joannap. I am aware that acceptance is the key, and even embracing it. Not easy. I also understand that if we are frightened of a thought or a feeling, thats what we will get. So I am going to have to try to see this is harmless and that nothing bad will happen, arent I?

J. Do you find that the intensity alters with the DP being worse some days than it is on others? Also, how do you find driving with DP. I used to be able to drive 200 miles no probs and now I will only drive locally.

I have also noticed, that on the rare occasion that I get my mind off the DP it does go. But its finding that thing that will totally get my mind off it.

I understand how Sherdac and dancing wobbler feel as I am feeling exactly that way now and am so much of the time.

Thats the thing isnt it Joannap, acceptence and NOT adding more fear to it. I really must think and accept that when we dont fear something, it will fade. It does, I know it does, I have been here before and it has ALWAYS gone before so it WILL this time.

Thanks everyone
Shirley

[BasilCat]

Forgot to say, Sherdac and Dancingwobbler, do you get out and about with the DP? I do. Some days its better than others. I dared myself to take my kids for a game of bowling the other day and to Mc Ds for an hot drink etc and the DP wasnt too bad. But yesterday when I was in town alone for 50 minutes it was worse and its not good today either. Having said that, I find its worse after a rough night, not sleeping well I mean, and I have not slept well since Thursday now. PM me if you want.

Best Wishes
Shirley

[sherdac]

Hi basil cat i was still going out and about which wasn't easy but lately it has just got really bad. i am really struggling. it is very frightening and i am so scared. at the minute also my legs and arms feel so light. i just feel all over the place.

[BasilCat]

I know just how you feel Sherdac and I have to keep daring myself to go anywhere or do anything. The DP is quite bad today. I understand you struggling because I am too and seem to have been doing so for ages. Yes it is very frightening - I try not to be scared but its very difficult I know. I was amazed that I managed to take the kids out on Friday. That was a first in recent months. I wouldnt fancy going with them today though. I feel too unreal. I may have a drive down town - its only 5 or 10 minutes away. Trouble is, when I get down town, I dont like to be far from the car! Thats because of the DP too!! PM me if you want.


Shirley

[BasilCat]

Hi Sherdac, I have just sent you the attachment. See what you think. I hope you are doing better than me this morning. I know what I want for Xmas more than anything in the world and I bet everyone on here wants the same thing too, to be free of the anxiety/DP etc etc. I just want to be normal again. But getitng in a state isnt going to do me any good so I will have a look at the book I sent you too I think as I have not read it lately.

Back soon
Love Shirley
x

[feels_like_home]

I too can relate to this symptom. Even though I understand it, I am still very scared of it. Distraction works best for me. The more I focus on it the worse it gets. I have to get up and do something physical or mental to take my mind off it.
Take care.
Michelle