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Thread: The secret button

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    2,744

    The secret button

    Often I read posts on here which are all entirely different but they can also all be merged into one.

    Imagine being born with a secret button in your back. Each time we have a bad experience the button is pushed in a little more. Sometimes we can have such a bad experience that the button gets pushed all the way in in one go.

    We can't reach this button and even if we could, we couldn't switch it off or pull it out. It feels it only gets pushed in further.

    One day this button can't be pushed any further and it feels too much to bear so we start searching for a way to pull it out again. We look to medications, to different techniques and seek therapy. We feel so niggled by this button in our back that we can't ignore it. It's always in the on position never letting us rest.

    Perhaps if we could reverse time we could go back to a day when the button was set in the off position and then we'd avoid all the things that caused it to be switched on but that's not living life.

    In reality everyone is born with this secret button but most people don't realise it's there because it's never reached a point of not switching off. Each time they experience a bad event they move on and treat it as just a bad day but each time we experience a bad event they remain stored and so the button never gets released.

    Once the button becomes a constant niggle we begin to focus on it more and more which keeps the button firmly in the on position. In all our attempts to switch it off, we've actually done the reverse because we've allowed it to annoy and frighten us.

    If we can learn to ignore all the thoughts that frighten us so that we can forget we have a button, the button called anxiety will switch off on its own.

    Yes, I know. Easy to say.....but there Are different ways of learning to cope depending on the causes but each case has to be treated individually because after all, we're all individuals who have all experienced different bad experiences.

    One thing though. Look beyond the thoughts and symptoms that frighten you and you'll find the real causes that need to be treated then it's a case of facing them or accepting and coming to terms with them.


  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Posts
    597

    Re: The secret button

    Hi Bill

    Thanks for that post it really made a lot of sense to me. I remember talking to a past CBT therapist about much the same thing a year or so ago. He likened this button to a light switch that hasn't got a dimmer function on it so the light has to be either on or off and that's it ...... there's no such thing as half measures and i guess anxiety is like that.
    Take good care Bill

    Pink
    x

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    Posts
    188

    Re: The secret button

    Spot on, Bill. If you feel something non-specific pressing the button (anxiety from nowhere, rather than specific phobias which are harder to ignore), instead of worrying "oh no, what's going to happen when the button goes too far?" it's far better to just shrug it off with "hey, I wonder what's pressing the button? Can't be much.. I'll ignore it.".... and moments later it will feel like the button has popped back out to normal again.

    Once you've gotten used to that, with a bit of practice it becomes second nature to accept that when something's pressing the button it will release on its own if you don't focus on it... and in time you simply won't believe the button can possibly go too far in.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Posts
    422

    Re: The secret button

    Dear Bill sorry can't say much at the moment but i read your thread and have read other threads of yours and they always make alot of sense, you put things into perspective really well , this posting has helped me alot just by reading and imagining " that damn Switch" like you say we would all like to turn it off but sometimes it's so deep inside it's impossible. But just by thinking and dwelling on not being able to sends the anxiety soaring, also frustration and then bitterness sets in which is not good.
    thanx Richie x
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    2,744

    Re: The secret button

    Pink, I honestly had no idea that a therapist thought on the same lines!

    Richie, I'm Really pleased to hear that what I say is of help to you. I can but try! I very much appreciate your post and thank you everyone for all your kind comments.

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