Next year and feeling yuck.

[Jimbo]

Finally the various flu's and colds that people around me have been complaining about have struck. I felt it coming on yesterday and now I feel awful.

Got the shivers and sweats, runny nose, feeling sick, running to the loo every 5 mins and generally feeling like death.

Worse though, I also feel my mood is a bit unstable at the moment. I managed really well over Christmas and felt pretty good. Now I'm back home and the new year comes closer I feel very unsure about my plans for next year. I was really up for doing lots of stuff, changing my meds, starting lots of day groups and going out more. But the reality of actually doing it is starting to worry me. I feel like I wasn't thinking properly when I decided to do that.

Is that because I actually wasn't thinking properly at the time? Or am I just feeling depressed or anxious again now? I feel confused about what mood I am in, am I up, down, side to side or a yo-yo? I'm constantly obsessing about what mood I am in and the signs of me going downhill again. That whole dead end cycle of thoughts is getting to me.

I am also a bit worried about my shrink, he keeps giving various diagnosis to me verbally and then putting various other things in writing that eventually come through to me months later as copies. Initially when I saw him I was told I had 'Panic / generalised anxiety disorder', then depression, then BPD, then mood instability. I'm beginning to think the guy is wrong and I probably know better than him. I hate the whole idea of questioning a diagnosis, but he always seems so vague when I try to pressure him.

So bleh, my head is doing a bit of a spin.

Jim

[Believe]

Jim,

Hope that you get to feeling better soon. I know it sucks, had it about two weeks ago, and just starting to feel like myself again.

As for shrink, can you see somebody else and compare the two???

[Quirky]

Thinking of you Jim mate and I hope you feel better very soon

Lisa x

[Jimbo]

Thanks,

Hopefully it's just the cold affecting my mood. I'll try not to think about it for now. Just being a typical ill guy who wants sympathy.

On a lighter note, I fell asleep with the tv on as usual but it must have gone onto telly-shopping in the early morning as I had the most bizarre dream about being in B&Q and people trying to hard sell me lingerie and moisturiser.

I'm sposed to be popping out to see a few friends later on today. I'll be coming back before the hectics of tonight starts.

Jim

[Quirky]

Lol at your dream Jim

I hope your cold is better soon

Just popped in to wish you a very Happy New year

Lisa x

[Jimbo]

Still feeling awful today. My nose is burning and I'm coughing up gross phlegm mixed with tar from smoking way too much. My ears are blocked so I can't hear properly and I'm hot and my feet are ice cold.

Last night was horrible, I had the worst panic attack in ages after a huge firework went off just outside at about 11. I can't stand that feeling in the air on new year's eve, like a tension building up. I was really freaking and was so relieved when it was all over. Woke up at 6am on the sofa

I am bored today cause tv is crap and not feeling up to going anywhere.

Sorry to moan moan moan, but I'm feeling a bit blue today.

Jim

[Jimbo]

Oh and Happy New Year, to everyone too.

Jim

[Granny Primark]

Hi jimbo,
I do sympathise. I spent 3 days in bed with the flu over christmas. Cant remember much about Christmas day or Boxing day.
I havent eaten a proper meal now for nearly 2 weeks so Ive lost loads of weight. Hooray! Thing is only a month ago I sold a new pair of Next jeans on ebay that cost me £30 for only £2 cus they were size 10 and didnt fit and now theyd fit me!
How unlucky is that! lol
And ..... while ive been ill me hubby and daughter have scoffed all me ferero rocha!!!!!!!
Hope you feel better soon.

Take care
LYNN xx

[happyone]

Jim

you know I understand about the obsessing about the mood change. It is so crap eh? Diagnoses thingy too as a lot of the work I have b een doing in therapy recently has highlighted that a lot of my probs still stem from anxiety, so I can sympathise on that front too. What advice I can give is probably what you have given to me, the meds treat 'symptoms' not the illness so really it is irrelevent if your med is working.
I hope it is your cold making you feel so bad. I know that I have been feeling worse recently and the cold can't have helped.
The pressure of trying new things too. Put that to the one side until you are physically fit as that is too much to think about just now. I am not going back to the local resource until the 10th and cos I have had such a big break, I am worrying, but trying not to.
You moan all you want mate.....I do enough! Sorry I wasn't around to answer yesterday but had family here and OMG am I glad that is over!

I had the most bizarre dream about being in B&Q and people trying to hard sell me lingerie and moisturiser.

.....did you buy any?

Happyone
xxx

[Jimbo]

Thanks,

I still feel awful today. It is flu not a cold! (as any guy would say)



My mood seems ok at the moment, but only because I've pushed it out of my mind. It will come back as soon as I have to deal with things again. Probably if the CMHT ever bother to get back in touch with me.

I've run out of food so I'm going to have to drag myself up the road to get some. I'm even considering getting a bus the few hundred metres it is to Sainsburys. It looks like rain outside too so I'd better get up and get moving.

Jim