Haven't posted in a while

[W.I.F.T.S.]

Hi guys,

Well, I've been struggling on for a while. I haven't had a full blown panic attack since July, but I felt so ill recently that I told my work that I just couldn't face going in. They gave me part-time hours up until christmas, which have helped and, surprisingly, they've now offered me the opportunity to go part-time permenantly. I do feel that much of my suffering is down to pushing myself too hard at work and not resting and relaxing properly.

In many ways I have been doing a lot better recently, but most days (especially over christmas) are a struggle to get through. Friends don't really understand and think that I'm winding myself up or, worse still, that I'm making a big deal out of it. I've kind of been believing it myself and thinking that I should be making more of an effort to do the things that scare me.

Just for a bit of reassurance I googled celebrities with panic attacks or anxiety issues and I was amazed by how big the list is. Selected highlights are:

Nicole Kidman, Steven Gerrard, Noel Gallagher, Burt Reynolds, Anthony Hopkins, Aretha Franklin, Sigmund Freud, Barbara Streisand, Oprah Winfrey, Johnny Depp, Nicholas Cage, Jessica Alba, David Bowie, Winston Churchill, Sir Laurence Olivier, Abraham Lincoln, Charlotte Bronte and Sir Isaac Newton!! I also know that three members of the Coronation Street cast suffer from panic attacks: Tina O'Brien, Denise Welsh and Kym Marsh.

I'm sure that they don't suffer them to the same extent as many of us, but it's reassuring to know that I'm not such a coward or a wimp and that I don't have to abstain from life because of them...that I can go out and enjoy life regardless of panic attacks or GAD.

By the way, having persisted for 5 years with trying to face my fears all the time and finding that things got harder rather than easier, I've decided that 'graded exposure' rather than 'flooding' is the best policy and, mostly, I'm choosing my battles and doing a little bit at a time rather than driving myself through the anxiety threshold. My thinking is that by not traumatising myself so frequently it will give me an opportunity to recharge and for my nerves to rest and heal. It does seem to be working generally, as I've quickly gone from being afraid of leaving my office at work to circulating around the school with comparative ease. I think in some ways you do have to take one step backwards to take two steps forwards.

Happy new year!

[cassi23]

Hiya hun,

I just wanted to say what a fantastic post i think this is!
I often sit there watching telly thinking why can't i feel normal like they do...they don't suffer with things like panick attacks...I could never do that job because of how i feel - BUT THEY DO!!! and you have made me realise this! For that i thank you! I feel so good now, not because they suffer like us, but because it happens to celeities and they get on with it, still do their stressful jobs and cope with the lifestyle.

Thats great that your work have allowed part time hours and your progress sounds amazing, WELL DONE YOU! give yourself a huge pat on the back...you deserve it, we will all get through this and if that means taking a step back to go forward, im all for it!

Happy new year

love cassi xxx