Hello all,
I've had some very kind messages from some of you recently and I wanted to thank you as I very much appreciate knowing that something I've said has done some good for someone. Thank you.
I must admit I hesitated for a long while before joining this site because I wasn't sure what others would think of me. Negative thought! lol...but I'm glad now that I did.
I'm no professional and have no qualifications on anxiety. All I have are my experiences and I guess I'm lucky to be able to share them in the hope of doing some good. It gives me purpose in life.
My anxiety has been with me for as long as I can remember and it's taken many forms. General, health, panics, OCD, etc. However, it was around 12 years ago that everything became too much and things got really bad when I became so low that I turned to drink, started self harming and taking od's. I just wanted my pain to stop but I had no one to turn to.
After taking one od and the doctor warning me that I nearly went too far, I decided I had to do something to stop the spiral. One day I heard on the News about a person jumping off a bridge because they were suffering too much and had no support. It made me feel Really sad knowing that others were suffering as I was. It made me think that here was me thinking I'm alone and trying to throw my life away when I could be doing something to help others and showing that They weren't alone! It gave me a purpose and incentive to keep going.
Once I changed my philosophy, I started thinking of other things I could change and so bit by bit things started to improve because I was helping myself to cope. The mental health team had ran out of ideas anyway.
If anything had happened to me, I wouldn't have been here to support my mother when we lost my father. When he was ill, I remember him being in hospital for treatment. He was very ill but when he saw a young girl crying because she was in such pain with a similar condition, he felt more concerned about her than his own suffering. That was the man he was and a better man than me.
They say that someone is always worse off and that's supposed to give comfort but it doesn't because I think hearing of others suffering still hurts. None of us can go through life without at some point suffering and whatever the cause is it's still a person in need of help.
In the film Its a Wonderful Life, he is shown what would have happened to all those he'd helped if he'd thrown his life away and he then realises that we are ALL important.
I know some of you are feeling Really ill but when you recover and learn to cope with your anxieties, think of the good you'll be able to do for others who in the future will be suffering as you are now. You may feel unimportant, that you have no purpose but I Know that to someone somewhere you will be Invaluable. We all need people who understand how we're feeling.
I am Glad to know people like you and grateful to Nicola for being around to help people like ourselves. Without her this site wouldn't exist and where would we be without her?
Never give up and Never think you have no purpose in life because things Do get better and we all need each other.
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