Pushing everyone away..

[*Broken_Mind*]

Hey everyone

Feeling very down and sad today - again. I realised i'm pushing everyone away, everyone i love and care about. I start arguements for near enough no reason, it's like i want them to hate me but i love them.

Im pushing my boyfriend away because i keep racking my brains over him not doing romantic stuff like i would like him too. I know hes a guy and hes not like that. I dont know whats wrong with me, its like my brain keeps telling me i dont love him but my heart knows i do.

What is wrong

Stacey

[peach]

hi broken mind,

i too do this from time to time, i beleive its part and parcel of the whole anxiety/depression thing. i have read a few times that being irritable and grumpy is a symptom of what we suffer.....

i think you should explain this to your partner like i have, hopefully it will make thm understand its coming from what we are going through, not who we are (if that makes sense)...ive done this and my partner, although he doesnt like me when im a pain in the butt (who would) he now kind of ignores me and doesnt take the bait im laying out for him. which is good, because i soon realise how i am feeling/behaving and am then able to control it a little more each time..now i just have a grumpy manner sometimes rather then trying to have a go at him .....

you will never really be able to push away those who really love you.

[cardmaker]

Hi both.

You're right Peach it is to do with Depression. I call my antisocial phase
I just tell friends and family I'm going through 'my antisocial phase' and they know not to take to heart anything I say. I usually encourage people to stay away if I'm feeling like that.

The people who really know you and care about you will stay the course.

Keep smiling Broken_Mind.

[SHYGIRLAJB]

Hi *Broken_Mind*

I think I know where you are coming from, I think I have done this to my only 2 friends, when everytime they asked me to meet up or go out I have always made an excuse etc etc.

Trouble is I think I have pushed them away full stop, as one of my friends has recently got married, but never invited me and I never new the date of the marriage .



SHYGIRLAJB

[GemmaAnn]

you will never really be able to push away those who really love you.

I like this quote ... it makes me feel a whole lot better. My boyfriend recently broke up with me (after over 2 years) because he said we argued too much and he didnt love me anymore ... I tried to explain my irratability was a form of my anxiety, but he either didnt want to or couldnt understand.

The reason I like the quote is I was feeling I had lost something precious ... but it reminds me, if I had something special there I wouldnt have lost it that easily.

Broken Mind, my ex was never romantic and I couldnt accept that. Try to talk to him and tell him how your anxiety makes you feel and act, if you know your in the wrong be the 1st to apologise that always helps! but above all remember that quote ... those who truly love you will never be driven away!

xx

[Jimbo]

Hey Stacey,

I know this is something I've done at times. I find it very hard to build up trust with other people. It's easy to think in 'black and white' and get upset with people just because they are for example, not romantic often. Try to think about all the things that those people do that make you feel good and allow those things to balance out.

I guess it's part of our personalities to a certain extent and also being under the constant stress of anx/depression/etc doesn't help either.

I think the only way to get over this is try to improve our communication with other people. It's a complex thing to do, most therapy involves some sort of communication skills module which has helped me a lot. But sometimes just trying helps the most, being honest and not allowing your emotions to rule.

I'm sure most guys would try harder if you asked them. Maybe have a day every month or even every week, where you take it in turns to give each other a romantic day.

Jim

edit:

I think GemmaAnn's post is very valid too. A relationship is a two way thing. Try not to blame yourself, your bf and your family have their own part to play too. Someimtes they are not great communicators either.