Hi All
Happy new year.
Probably just need to vent but I do have a number of probs & whilst I'm doing my best but struggling to cope.
This morning was a real low point I was dropping off my son at school and caught the eye of one of the other Dad's who I socialise with.( he's a great bloke, good fun and I like him)
He started to make his way over and I was just consumed by terror of speaking to him.
When he got within 10 yards of me I blurted out that 'sorry I got to go' and ran out of the school yard. leaving him with a bemused look on his face and making me look like a complete idiot.
In the background to all this I've been giong through months of medical tests which thankfully have shown nothing serious but the stress this has placed on me (& my family ) has been significant.
Then in september my wife lost her Dad and then within a month of this I lost mine.
Then we've been entertaining and being enetertained all through Christmas when all I really wanted to do was curl up and sleep.
But, whatever happens the wagon just keeps rollin, the bills need paying and life goes on.
Trouble is I'm so strung out I am beggining to socially withdraw and find social events are generally unpleasant. ( there are exceptions but not often)
My wife has noted that I no longer go out on an evening with my friends ( mainly because I feel so rubbish most of the time)
My habit of rumenating on health issues is also unhelpful.
My doc I'm sure wants to prescribe either anti depressants or some other medication but I'm generally opposed to taking any of that stuff if I can find alternative ways of dealing with stuff.
Last time I was in such bad shape I had CBT therapy and that worked well and I jhave been oK for a couple of years until this latest flare up.
Don't know what I will say to this other Dad when I next see him I'm going to look a total twonk for running off like I did.
Sorry for going on I just feel like a guitar string that is tightened right to the max anf is about to go pop.
Any advice is helpful - sorry for going on and thanks for reading.
Mojo xx