struggling

[Shy_guy21]

Hi,

I'm not sure I can go on any more. I feel so alone and I just found out someone I thought was a friend has been saying horrible things about me to others. That I have a 'sick and peculiar' mind etc.

I'm fed up with people saying things like that. I can't take any more.

I find it hard going on. i feel so alone. i've tried making new friends but being in situations with lots of people is so difficult.

Take care,
S

[twister]

Hi

Don't feel alone, there are always people here you can chat to. If you feel so desperate perhaps you should make an emergency appointment at the doctors to let them know how you are feeling...

Let me know how you get on

Emily

[sarah]

Hi
I know exactly how you feel. At the beginning of my panic i used to lay on my sofa for hours at a time just staring out the window with my heart pounding wondering when it was going to end and thinking to myself what was the whole point of being on this earth.My friends kind of gave up on me and stopped inviting me out places(which was fine as i didnt want to go anyway) and i ended up being too afraid to leave the house. It took me a long time to get rid of these feelings and although they surface every once in a while, i try to ignore it. I used to think i couldnt go on any more but ive made so much progress and in some ways im more stronger than i used to be.
Believe me you arent alone
keep in touch
Sarah

[Laurie28]

Hiya Shy guy,

I remember a few months ago when my anxiety got really bad i thought i had all sorts of mental illnesses including schizophrenia (excuse the spelling) I haven't my anxiety is just on overdrive. I don't know exactly what is wrong with you but alot of people have strange or alarming thoughts but doesn't necessarily make them neither 'sick' or 'peculiar'
I'm sorry if that is the reaction u are getting from so called friends but alot of people don't understand.

This forum is great because most people have been through anxiety/panics or depression and even those who haven't have great advise to give.

I would agree with twister though try and go to the doctors and tell them exactly how you are feeling. It will be a weight off your shoulders

Take Care
Lucky

[Lottie32]

If they are saying horrible things, then they aren't true friends! Please don't give up. Visit your doctor, it may help. Try not to take the things your "friend" said to heart, and stick with those who accept you as you are. All my friends know about my "madness" and let me carry on with my irrational obsessive anxiety ridden behaviour as though it is completely normal (well it is for me)! Feel sorry for your "friend" that they didn't have the intelligence, empathy and tolerance to appreciate you for who and what you are.

Take care

Charlie

Charlie

[Meg]

Hi Shy-guy,

It's very hard to be disappointed by those you trust especially when you're at an age where you're exploring the world and wondering where your private space in it is and what you're supposed to be doing here anyway and worried that you may be a bit diferent because of your shyness.

This happens to most of us along the life journey sooner - like you - or later when, as they say , it's further to fall .

Try to learn from this by getting to know people much better before trusting them with secrets- and ask them theirs too- and know that whatever is going on within you is absolutely fine within yourself and it's just that you've shared things that perhaps others wouldn't volunteer.

We all have thoughts that others could describe as strange and peculier - I know I do , Does anyone else ????

If you need to just talk it out there are several places to do this . The 24 hr ones are the Samaritans.
I used to ring them frequently to just talk to about nothing to get me through whilst having a panic attack. They were great people. They are not just a crisis line - I can assure you.


Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[Shy_guy21]

Hi,

I know that quite a few people have responded to me and I'm very grateful to you all.

I am feeling a bit better today now that I have had time to think. i know I can't end my life as much as I want to at times.

I will try and learn from this. it's not the first time it has happened. When i was 14 I was bullied by my best friend. It caused me a lot of problems - at first I became suicidal and I've become a lot more withdrawn. i find it impossible to make new friends. When I started at university I made a few new friends but it seems people just don't want to know me after a short while.

I was being called strange and peculiar because I worry a lot and often feel down.

i e-mailed the Samaritans yesterday. I've got an email back from them so hopefully that will help. I have problems talking on the phone - it's very hard for me and I start stammering and hyperventilating. That's a major problem in itself because I often have to make phone calls so I tend to panic a lot.

I don't think i'm going to kill myself. I have days where I feel like killing myself and days that I can just about cope. yesterday was one of my bad days because i heard what the girl had said about me. Then I went to university and felt so alone. i just want to have some of the life I used to have. Go places with friends and not always feel so nervous in social situations. I used to be so happy even though I was always shy.

Thank you all of you.

Take care,
Scott.

[Meg]

Dear Scott,

Good to hear from you. Thank you for coming back here to say Hello.

I'm pleased that you recognise that this time in your life is not permenent and will pass and you will be able to get back to being who you used to be. Happy and cheerful.

If you don't really open up to people they won't be able to disappoint you. We all know that having strange thoughts are not unusual but if you're young and haven't met it before - like some of your peers - it may come over differently.

Do you think you could perhaps find a hobby and a club for it so you'll have something to chat about and find a connection with people without it being too heavy.What subject are you doing at Uni and what year are you in ?

You know that lots of people at Uni have issues something like this- you will certainly not be alone- and most Unis are very well set up with doctors and counsellors that may be able to help you with your previous bullying issues.
If your stammering is a daily problem then you can go and have some speech therapy which is really so beneficial.

Well done for doing the email route. I'd forgotten the Samaritans had started that new service.

I think most people have had days when it all seems too much but it's on those days most when you need to remember who you really are and that it's still there - if a bit masked today.

Getting some regular exercise will really help - there are so many martial arts around now that you may find one that has the right mix of aggression, strength and tactics that may do you lots of good. And you don't have to talk much - just learn and practice.

Find a positive mantra for yourself that you feel very comfortable with and know to be true and say it over and over and over and over to yourself . You will believe it and especially say it if very black thoughts reappear..

Look forward to hearing from you soon Scott.







Meg

Watch your thoughts, they become your words...
Watch your words, they become your actions... Watch your actions, they become your habits... Watch your habits, they become your character... Watch your character, it becomes your destiny...

[nomorepanic]

Hi all

I have just read the posts in here and pleased to see that Shy Guy is feeling a little better.

I was just going to mention that if he doesn't like talking on the phone, then he could try the chat room on the site. It will give him chance to talk to others and ask questions but none of the stress of having to talk.

We would love to see you there one night Shy - after 9pm is the best time.

Stay positive and like Radar says try some exercise or take up a new hobby to focus your mind on the good things in life.

Nicola

[Shy_guy21]

Thanks for your messages

I like writing - I'm a writer so I joined a university society for news. Unfortunately it doesn't give me the chance to really meet people because we only have one meeting a week (as it's all done over the internet - we e-mail in our stories). Also there aren't many people. i also joined a christian group because it sounded liek a good idea - meetign new people, playing football for the societies team etc but in the end I felt so left out of the group. One of the workers made me feel so uncomfortable that i haven't dared go back.

I don't get a huge amount of time. i'll try joining more groups. I have thought about Tai Kwon do (not sure if that's spelt right). it's supposed to be the sport to do if you want to build up your confidence. but unfortunately there is noweher near where I live that does it.

There is a counselling service at the university. I'm just apprehensive about going and seeing someone looking at me listening to my problems. it sounds daunting. I'm goign to email them. it's students who do the counselling though and I just find that worrying because it's people who are my own age. it's hard to explain but I feel I'll be judged more by my peers than by someone older than me. i find it easier to talk to older people. I tried talking to a friend a while ago about my problems - she did mental health nursing at university, so I thought she'd be able to listen. She didn't speak to me again. That's made me worry about telling people I know because they'll ignore me if I try talking about my problems.

My stammering isn't a daily problem. It only happens when i'm very nervous - like when i have to give a presentation or speak in a seminar or tutorial. it's not constant stammering. i just find it hard saying a few words. Like once I had to give a discussion of an article from a book and for some reason I just couldn't say article. It's worse when i'm on the phone which makes it difficult because I have to phone people for the news site I work for. It only happens when i'm nervous.

I'm rarely on the internet after 9 (although i will be tonight). I'll try to visit the site at some point soon. i don't mind talking if i'm accepted. i just find it hard talking to new people.

I'll check my email now. Hopefully the Samaritans will have contacted me again.

Thank you very much.

Take care,
Scott