When I was in the pram, my mother tells me I'd scream because I was afraid of being left on my own.

When I was a child, I asked my mother why people get ill, she said it can be from dirt so I developed a fear of picking up germs.

When I was at school I lost a good friend so I developed a fear of illness which helped to create my OCD.

When I started secondary school, I was bullied and I'd fear failing my exams which led me to being sick and suffering IBS.

When my brothers and sister left home, I felt abandoned and alone which intensified my fear of being left on my own.

When I started work, the stress intensified my IBS and I was just as afraid of using the loos. The more I feared using them, the more I needed to go!

When I got married, coping with my wifes illness together with the stress of work made me develop panic attacks and I lost my job.

When I felt trapped by hurt and pain, I began to hate myself for being weak and to ease the pain I began to self harm.

When I became very depressed I began to drink.

When things became so bad that I felt I couldn't take anymore, I started to take overdoses.

When I looked for help, I was given medication which I used in my overdoses with the drink.

When I felt so alone with nowhere to go, with no one to understand me, I lost all hope.

When I realised I was not alone, others gave me hope.

When I shown how to make changes and tried to help myself, things started to improve.

When others showed me life could be enjoyable and I learnt to cope with my anxieties, I wanted to "try" and prevent others suffering alone too.

I still am.