Low day

[Bill]

I had to play in a match today but my heart wasn't in it. All I could think while sitting in the car was I wish I was back in bed. I looked out the window and saw a field. I had this sudden image of me playing in that field feeling free and then of being taken away for treatment in a nice bed with some tlc from some nice nurses! Then I was back to reality with my sweating palms just wanting to go home.

Once I was there, nice but sad memories flooded my mind as there were too many reminders. I felt unable to fight them because of my low mood. I just felt trapped. I tried to concentrate on the game but I didn't play well as I felt too distracted by my emotions. Needless to say we lost.

I was low, bored and just felt too tired to fight. It all seemed so tedious and I couldn't find any enjoyment. I think we all need a "spark of excitement" in life to keep us feeling alive or life becomes consumed with negative feelings.

When I got home, I found out the dog had been sick on the carpet. I couldn't even find the energy to get worked up about it. I don't think it surprised me somehow. It was like the icing on a stale cake.

I think in the old days I'd gone for the draw to ease the pain but I tell myself it's just a bad day and things will improve. We mustn't dwell on bad times but look forward with hope and live for the good days.....but tonight, well, as the advice I was once given said, just go to bed and forget today because tomorrow is a new day with a new dawn that just "could" bring a spark back into living because there is always hope however much it feels all is lost.

[Richie]

Hi Bill,
real genuinely sorry to hear you feeling this depressed today, of course we all have very blue days when nothing seems interesting or worthwhile, i really think you should allow yourself some of that TLC !!!!!!!! you definately deserve it X
I guess you are the sort of real caring soul who gives and gives so much, you should take it easy on yourself x x
Like you say though there is that "spark" we all of us need it if we want to stay motivated
sometimes it can lead us into trouble lol but i reckon you can channel yours through so many opportunities that will and can open up to you.
Tomorrow is another day and you are a positive person so i know you'll" pick up" and find that spark again.
Thinking of you love Richiexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Pink Panic]

Hi Bill

Sorry to hear you had a bad day mate
I think you deserve some "me" time as you always seem to be thinking of others and perhaps sometimes forgetting about yourself.

I can identify with the "spark" feeling as mine sort of disappeared at the end of last week and i spent quite a bit of time crying. Mine has kind of reappeared now and i'm sure yours will too.

Hopefully you will feel better today If you want to offload you have my email so feel free.

Love & Big Hugs (because YOU deserve them)
xxxxxxxx

[lorac]

Sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday and hope today will be better for you, some days are just like that and you can't shake them off.

I am sending you some hugs Bill because you are such a nice man who always finds time to help others and you deserve something back in return

Hope today is better for you. Take care Bill.

Love Carol xxxx

[Hope 2]

Hello Bill

Bit spooky readin yr post cos i had a really dark day yest too .
I tend to hide from here when i feel like that .
But thats prob the time i shouldn't .
You have helped me in such a huge way since i joined and will always find comfort in that no matter what the future holds .

Like everyone said you take care of you also .
You are allowed .

Now dont be letting yr head get too swollen tho !!

take care and fond wishes

Your friend
Hope xx

[Lilith1980]

Hi Bill

Sorry you had a bad day and I think the key is to not beat yourself up over having these bad days. The more we punish ourselves the more worked up we get.

The fact that you actually played shows how strong you are, although, even if you'd have gone home, that wouldnt reflect badly on you either. We can only do so much and sometimes fighting things is just too hard.

I agree with Richie about you having some "me" time. You put so much of your efforts into other people but it seems you rarely think of yourself. So it might be time to do that - or at least take time to relax and chill out.

Sending you ((((((BIG HUGS))))) Bill

Jo xxxxx

[Bill]

Just wanted to say "thank you for all your kind words".

I'm feeling better to day. xxxxxxxxx

[Yvonne]

Hallo Bill

Oh mate - you are so strong and give others such good advice - always there to make people feel better - I am glad you told us how you are feeling.

Low days are horrible because we do tend to dwell and keep wondering why? What the hell is causing this?? etc etc. It is the dwelling isn't it. However, you did think the right way and told yourself "tomorrow is another day" - that's all we can do when we feel like this. Put it behind us.

You were brilliant to go to bowls despite the way you were feeling - this is what we do isn't it? We like to challenge depression/panic whatever by going and doing what we feel we should do in an effort to alleviate the low mood or beat the panics.

You did right because as I think someone else said - sitting at home you would have been thinking that if you had gone your mood would have lifted and you would have beat yourself up a bit.

I hope you are feeling better now and that the dipped mood has lifted - if not, give in to it a bit and rest if you need to. We have tired minds and sleep is good medicine.

xxxxxxxxxx

[liddylou]

Bill
I really am glad to hear that u r feeling brighter now....you definately lit up my day when I was bad with the thoughts...We are all so good at helping others (you included) but dont seem to be able to soak up our own advice when we need it....I cant really help but just wanted to say keep ur chin up and think to the bright future that you are so good at pointing other people to in there time of need....love and hugs, Sarah x x x

[Bill]

Yvonne and Liddy, thank you again for your kind words. xxx I appreciate them very much. xxx

Liddy, it was a Pleasure to be able to help you the other day and I hope you've been coping ok since. I just wish I could do more for you and others. Please remember you're always welcome to contact me if you're troubled again and you think I can help.

I only have to read all your kind words and I feel uplifted. You constantly show why I enjoy posting here because the people I've met on here have been so caring. It's a Real Pleasure to know such genuinely lovely people! xxx

I took my mother shopping today and I felt a little uptight. Since we lost my father she has no one to talk to but me so I let her talk as much as she needs to. She said today, she hoped she didn't depress me! I think all mothers can read their offspring whatever their mood! I told her "Of course not" because she doesn't. I try to reassure her that I love having her around because I Do. To be honest, I think I feel as lonely as her but I try not to say too much. I just said that I felt a bit tired which I was.

Anyway, when I feel a bit anxious I find that I'm holding my stomach muscles in tightly "without realising it" because when we feel anxious we tense up. It "feels" that when I do this I'm putting pressure on my body which increases IBS feelings and restricts my breathing because I forget to breathe so start feeling breathless!

As soon as I realise, I relax my stomach by letting it out which then also stops me thinking about how I "feel inside". I find that as soon as I relax my body and re-focus my concentration onto things I'm doing or even focus hard on what my mothers saying, that the symptoms soon pass.

By the way, I've also found that when we tense our muscles up, they're more likely to ache and we "pull them" more easily. One doctor was using his stethoscope on me and he said "Please Relax because all I can hear is your muscles creaking"!!!! Well............I was nervous!

Anyway, I'm feeling alot better again, because of All of YOU!...so Thank You xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx