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Thread: Purposely confronting public places..

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    56

    Purposely confronting public places..

    Like I imagine most people who get panic attacks, Im avoiding certain places like the plague. I very rarely take to the big outdoors by myself and havent been to even my local high street for about 5 years. I can drive through, but the thought of doing a little shopping or even walking down there fills me to the brim with anxiety. Sucky, to say the least. I use my car as a crutch to travel, about as much as I walk is from my front garden to my car and the same distance from my car to the shop. I start to avoid friends who I havent seen for a small while, declining invites from them has been pretty much standard for me since I started getting social anxiety and panic attacks, they dont bother inviting me out anymore. I'll usually just hear about their exploits later on down the line.

    Ive been on the waiting list for CBT for the best part of a couple of years and Im fed up with waiting now. Getting to the GP was a big step for me in the first place, threw away those Seroxat (sp?) that he gave me after only 1 day. Before that Id fooled myself that if I could get to the same few shops enough times I might get better, that was a waste of 3 years, somehow. I wish looking back that I would have known better or have had more courage.

    To sum it up, Im pretty much angry, sad to, for my friends, family and for myself for declining myself and others what I should be entitled to. It might seem from this post that Im some crazy on-edge guy, I just feel full of motivation today to take my problem on head first. Something that I havent tried before, I would always back out of arrangements, look for a way out etc.

    So my plan is pretty simple. I just want to get out, see some of the places that Ive been avoiding. If I start feeling anxious, getting sweaty, feeling feint, or even if I do pass out, I want to stay out and not go back home. I dont want to travel out in my car, I want to do it all on foot. Pretty much I dont want to give myself a safe haven to escape to when my problems all start to kick in. I want to stay out until they subside, do this every day and a slightly bigger step every day. I want to do this until I can go where I want to, when I want to. The way Im feeling right now is that Im the only one who can help myself. All I need to do is to convince myself that there is nothing to worry about, as long as I dont run home I figure (I hope) that I should see some impovements. So I'll leave my running trainers at home. The biggest thing for me will be that I dont trot back home for the wrong reason, I want to stay out until I am happy with how things have gone.

    Im pretty sure that some of you must have tried this before? How did it go for any of you? Any suggestions for whilst I am out and about?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
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    , , United Kingdom.
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    28

    Re: Purposely confronting public places..

    mike,
    what a time you have had, I am sure you will get lots of support here.
    This is what you need to do you must try and do it. Set yourself small goals to start with, such as the end of the street or around the block.
    Take a walking buddie with you if you can. If not take something to distract yourself, music or crunchy vegetables to chew on, worry beeds for your hands or plan cooking a special meal. Set a task to do at the end, perhaps walk to a shop and buy a newspaper. Take a drink with you and some sandwiches if you plan to be out a while. I would concentrate on going out and reaching a goal, each time a little further, teaching yourself coping mechanisms along the way. Hope this makes some sense, it is difficult for all of us and we all learn to manage our own way. Take care Mike and good luck, let me know how it goes. xx anne
    __________________
    Anne

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
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    155

    Re: Purposely confronting public places..

    Hi Mike
    I cant pretend to have been as bad as you but after a big panic attack at xmas i started to become agorophobic. As soon as i got a few minutes from home my chest would tighten and id feel dizzy etc and start feeling panicky. I didnt dare go out for about a week but knew i had to. Fortunately my husband made me go out for short walks with him and the dogs. When the feelings started to hit me i just kept going however bad i felt, sometimes id start running when my breathing started to go funny which seemed to 're set' it back to normal. After a few days i felt more confident to go out on my own and started walking to the shops etc. Now, although i still sometimes get the symptoms when im out i just keep telling myself its only anxiety and to stop being so stupid and ignore it! I have my Bach rescue remedy in my pocket at all times (getting through them quite quickly, good job Boots do 3 for 2 on them at the moment!) and i think it helps even if its just phsycological.
    Best of luck to you, you are being very brave. You can and will conquer it and the only way to do that is to face it full on until the damn thing gives up and buggers off .
    Donna x

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    56

    Re: Purposely confronting public places..

    Thanks alot for the advice. I know by the time I am up and dressed tomorrow, this ought to be a fair representation of me..



    I think I should be good for the end of the road. Although I hardly ever venture out, I kind of know my limitations when I am out and about on foot. I already know the place where I am most likely to really start panicking, its strange because its a place where I have never had any anxiety. Its a place that Ive built up a fear of since I started getting bad anxiety. So strange. I hope to take a route around the local park which is about 20 minutes walk away, then carry on up to the high street which is about another 15. Thats the high street that Ive avoided for so long, although not the specific stretch, but a busy part still.

    I'll definitely have a music player handy. I dont really like the thought of needing it for a little bit of comfort but at the same time its got to be more important that I get out, with or without my music player! My plan will be to get a little further every time, also to make the effort every day. Thats probably the biggest reason Ive made the thread here, for a little inspiration to keep on trying. I can find it really easy to put things on hold whilst Im getting anxiety, or maybe just in general over the last 5 years.

    I think I might take a few pictures with my phone whilst Im out and about to. Just for another little boost, just a few landmarks so I can remind myself it can be done.

    Thanks alot Anne, Donna

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    268

    Re: Purposely confronting public places..

    Hi mikes'P, take a look at the general anxiety section and read the "Agoraphobia-the diary " thread. you'll see how some posters contribute their daily/occasional forays outside !
    you sound very determined and full of positive enthusiasm and I wish you peace and success. Sagey.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
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    56

    Re: Purposely confronting public places..

    Ahh, just had a quick browse of that thread just now Sagey, I'll post my progress up in there.

    Thanks for the kind words

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
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    422

    Thumbs up Re: Purposely confronting public places..


    Hi there Mike,
    you are making a great start, great progress, and doing all the right things
    Just a short note to say keep up the good work and keep us posted on your day to day achievements
    All the best xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
    Richie
    __________________
    What goes around comes around
    Die another Day

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    , , United Kingdom.
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    815

    Re: Purposely confronting public places..

    Mike

    Go to www.controllinganxiety.com and download Claire Weekes recordings - this will help a lot as she talks about how to face and accept.

    Also a good book for you to read for facing panic is "Don't Panic" by Reid Wilson.

    You do have to keep facing and facing every day but you have to make sure you are not "putting up with the symptoms" as Claire Weekes puts it - you have to relax your body and take on the panic symptoms no matter how bad t hey feel.

    Good luck matexxx
    __________________
    Yvonne
    Colchester Essex

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    442

    Re: Purposely confronting public places..

    Don't forget to counter your thoughts in a TEA form too because that really helps especially when coupled with exposure. A great book for CBT/TEA forms is the one by Sam Obitz called Been There, Done that? DO THIS. I ordered mine from the book's website www.tao3.com
    I'm sure the books Yvonne recommended are really good too. Keep that attitude and you'll feel better soon

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
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    18

    Re: Purposely confronting public places..

    Mike your doing what we all need to do, face our fears...I wish you all the luck in the world and Im sure you can do it

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