Are we so different?

[Adrian]

At the risk of being labelled a 'Dutch Uncle'; in the relatively short time that I have been accessing this site I am saddened that many members describe themselves in the most negative terms via their user-names and icons. There are even three icons in use (mad, madness, notworthy) which support this. While I appreciate that such descriptions are symptomatic of self-esteem I strongly counsel against their use. We are not mad, we do not have broken minds etc. We are people who are addressing our problems (repeatedly in some cases-including my own) but we, unlike so many others are not burying our heads in the sand and pretending that nothing is wrong. In many cases we are paying the price for the failings and insecurities of others. Come on folks, we've all met people who go through life pretending that nothing is wrong and harming others in the process.
I'm fortunate, at the moment, I'm on the up (for the greater part) but who knows when I'll be back down again. Thus I urge people to try to be positive (not easy I know) and continue to be supportive of each other. Perhaps form local groups or try to make local contacts via this website for more personal interaction-it beats cyberspace every time! I'm in Southampton with a lot of time on my hands so if anyone wants to get in touch they're very welcome. We all need each other.
'Doesn't he go on?' you'll probably say. Perhaps you're right. But think about it. Please.

[Lilith1980]

Hi Adrian

Do you mean icons as in Avatars?

I chose my avatar because I thought it was humourous really, not because I have a low opinion of myself. Well, I do have a low opinion of myself but I didnt choose it because I thought that was the only avatar that I was worthy of

Or are you referring to the emoticons? I'm sure they haven't been put in to deliberately make people feel worse. I think some people just like using emoticons and personally for me, it brightens up my posts - even if I am talking about myself, saying I feel rotten and like I am going crazy - its just that I like using them.

I cant speak for other members of NMP though

People here do organise regional meet-ups so you could start a thread in the relevant forum? I agree in some cases that face-to-face is better than cyberspace, however some people have social phobias or cannot leave their homes so this is the next best thing.

You're not going on at all, I think you have valid points. We are all here to support each other, NMP is a godsend and I am proud to be a part of it. I think NMP is a strong community and I'm glad to have it here, along with the friends I have made.

xxxxx

[Adrian]

I was referring to avatars and emoticons; I'm no computer wizard and I certainly had no intention of offending anyone. I'm also sure that longstanding members of NMP have both given much and derived a lot from the site. I'm very much the new boy and I appreciate the experience of long-standing members. However as a former Mental Health Nurse of 19 years experience I also have a lot to offer and that is what I was attempting to do. Having said that, I have no desire to set myself up as the site guru; I'm just as vulnerable as anyone else. Hope this clarifies the point.

[Lilith1980]

Hi Adrian

I'm sure you havent offended anyone at all, well certainly not me

Everyone has a right to speak up if something doesnt sit right with them so don't worry about that.

I cannot speak for Nic as maybe she can clarify more, but I personally see the avatars as adding a bit of humour, rather than being derogatory, but that is just my opinion.

I understand your point though. Personally for me they arent a problem but not everyone uses avatars so maybe these people do not like them?

I'm no site guru either so I think it's best to hand this one over to Nic as she will be able to answer more eloquently than I can

I'm sure your experience as a mental health nurse will be invaluable to members on this site, as I imagine you have some good insights. Its great to have you as a part of NMP

xxxxx

[Adrian]

Thanks, I'll give it my best-but please be aware that my knowledge and experience is somewhat dated, and most of my work was in Forensics.

[bottleblond]

Hi Adrian,

Welcome to NMP, It's lovely to see you here. I hope you find the site useful and that you meet lots of new friends along the way.

Lisa
xxx

[Jaco45er]

Hi Adrian Chap

the avatars like Lilith's above do give me a little chuckle.

I don't think it pays to be "too over-sensitve" . This site has a wealth of knowledge, and experienced sufferers who are only too willing to offer advice.

That said, I don't want to walk on eggshells either, and I wouldn't get too disheartened with some of the avatars, these phrases are used in everyday life, and we are no different. How many times do you hear people say? "I am losing it" or " I must be out of my mind" ?

They are no more offensive than my avatar is (unless you are a Rangers supporter, and in that case, I hope it does offend )

TC

Jaco

[PUGLETMUM]

hi adrian, you obviously have alot of insight and you understand that some ppl are suffering because of lack of care or neglect from others. and some ppl in their journeys with anx and themselves may have not worked this out or may have not had the access to help, to work it out. i think it helps to point this out, but i also think that taking responsibility for EVERYTHING we do, (as advocated by M SCOTT PECK in the road less travelled) is also a point at which we become free of much of this anxiety. anyway im glad your a member and i hope you get to meet up with some ppl in your area. emma

[PUGLETMUM]

okay i just read through the other posts, and i see you have mental health training so that will be brill on here. and i do see myself as the site guru, so you dont have to take on that load

[Nibbles]

Hi Adrian,

I think the avatars are intended to be a bit of lighthearted humour but I understand your point about not viewing yourself negatively. As for usernames, members can call themselves whatever they like as long as it is within the rules. In the end I think it comes down to personal choice.

I hope this helps.

Take care,

Mike

PS I have moved your thread to the misc forum.