Feeling Sorry for Myself

[jo-jo]

Wow, its been a while since I've felt really anxious but I'm having all sorts of symptoms at the moment from chest pain, adrenaline rush, constant health worries, funny tummy ... I'm so worried its going to end up in a full on PA.

I know the cause of all this, hubby Steve has at last had 2 job offers, one safe but boring job as FD for a bus company in Rotherham and one 9 month contract in a business consultant role in Manchester with really good pay. The 2nd one is more appealing to him but of course long term security is an issue.

Bless, I can understand how tough this is for him (he's feeling terrible) but I feel like my life is on hold until he makes his mind up. We'd def have to move for the Rotherham job and possibly for the Manchester one if it became permenant. But the thing is I'd set my heart on starting a PhD at Teesside next year and now its looking nearly impossible. After 4 years at uni, I feel like its all been wasted as I can't call myself a psychologist by any means unless I go the whole way and do a doctorate.

Sorry for sounding so negative but this is really getting on top of me, it looks like I'll have to leave my home, my family, my friends and give up on my career all in one fell swoop and frankly, I'm gutted but at the same time I'm trying to support Steve (although I don't think I'm doing a very good job of it)!

Thanks for listening

Love Jo xxx

"courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear"

[nomorepanic]

Jo

Would Steve consider putting you first and letting you do your course before you move? It would be a terrible shame to give up what you have done so far.

Can you move courses easily and do it somewhere else? Sheffield is a great place too.

I know it is hard but you have to work this out and write down the pros and cons for all options. Do you really want the upheaval of a move etc?

It has to be a joint decision and you both need to talk about it and decide where your future lies.

If it helps I will tell you about me. Alex and I had a long distance relationship - he was in Cambs and I was in Sheffield. We both loved our jobs.

We knew that one of us had to move so we sat down and did all the pros and cons etc and in the end I decided to give up my life in Sheffield (13 years of it and I loved it there) to move down here to be near him. The decision was based on who wanted their job the most and the fact that my family are down this end of the country. It was NOT easy to move but I am happy here now and Alex has a great job that he loves. I am not sure he would have been so happy in Sheffield.

Hard decision I know but there are always options - I got a new job and we settled here.

Hope that helps a bit!

Good luck with the decision

Nicola

[sal]

Hi Jo

Sorry you arent feeling too good. It cant be easy for either you or Steve at the moment. You have done so at Uni it will be a shame not to carry on,but i can understand Steve needs some security.

May sound selfish but would hate to lose you living so close but we will always be here for each other.

Its a hard one and i am sure Steve is stuggling to decide what is best for you. Whatever you both decide together you know we will all support you hon.

I am off work still so if you fancy a coffee next week it would be great.


Lots of Love Sal xxxxx

[lainey]

Hi Jo

Sorry you're not feelong so good at the moment, it's probably to do with all that's going on in your life right now, it must be a very hard decision for both of you, I'm sure it will all work out in the end.

Take care

Elaine x

[jo-jo]

Thanks for your support girls, it really is appreciated.

Well after a weekend away in Leeds to deliberate our options, Steve has decided to take the temporary contract in Manchester as a) its the level of work he wanted and b) it gives him 9 months to try and find something up here. So for now we get to pay the mortgage and stay put a while, as he'll either commute or stay in the flat we have at Leeds a couple of nights a week. Plus the job is travelling around quite a bit anyway so he doesn't have to be in Manchester all the time. I know its not a long term solution to our issues of where to work/study/live etc but it gives us a bit of breathing space at least to have a bit more of a think!

By the way, if anyone fancies a weekend in York I can recommend a gorgeous b&b called One3Two just outside the city walls near the station and racecourse. Its a bit pricey but total luxury; we even had a breakfast hamper delivered to our room each morning containing champagne, organe juice, fresh fruit, pastries and rolls, breakfast quiche, organic yogurt and decaf coffee - heaven!

Sal - I'm around on Friday if you fancy meeting for a cuppa - might have to be late afternoon if thats any good to you???

Lots of love a now totally chilled Jo xxxx

"courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear"

[lainey]

Hi Jo

Glad you had a nice weekend and have managed to temporarily sort out your problems, as you say it gives you more time to consider your options.

Take care

Elaine x

[sal]

Hi Jo

Pleased you had a lovely weekend. Well at least you have some breathing space with the job Steve has got and who knows it might last longer and lead him into a better job in this area.

Friday should be okay as Sam is going to her dads, i will just get the childminder to pick her up until he finishes work. Just text me and let me know what time and where.

See you soon.

Love Sal xx


Dont mess up the best things in your life, just because at present you are unsure who you are.

[Meg]

What a good decision Jo Jo .

Best option for you both at present plus play for time...

Hope it all goes well.


Meg
www.overcominganxiety.co.uk
You cannot conquer fear until you have learned what it is you're afraid of. The enemy is ignorance. Vivian Vance